Anonymous asked in Politics & GovernmentMilitary · 1 decade ago

True or false the French military has never won a war on there own?


Napoleon went to war in the winter against Russia so he ant that smart and jon of ark was mental ill that dos not make a good leder ask hitler

12 Answers

  • MtBikr
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The following is Frances war record.

    - Gallic Wars

    - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at this time in history, a Roman -ed.]

    - Hundred Years War

    - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

    - Italian Wars

    - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

    - Wars of Religion

    - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

    - Thirty Years War

    - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

    - War of Revolution

    - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

    - The Dutch War

    - Tied

    - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War

    - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

    - War of the Spanish Succession

    - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

    - American Revolution

    - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

    - French Revolution

    - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

    - The Napoleonic Wars

    - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

    - The Franco-Prussian War

    - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

    - World War I

    - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

    - World War II

    - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

    - War in Indochina

    - Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

    - Algerian Rebellion

    - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

    - War on Terrorism

    - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

    • ...Show all comments
    • Amando3 years agoReport

      During the Revolution, France fought a massive coalition along with the Royalists. Cocky Americans from the other side of the world stealing all the credit, while France in fact fought and bled in the European Mainland. Too bad you got your asses handed to you by peasant farmers in Vietnam and Iraq.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


    100 Years' War

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    6 Things About French Military History You Should Know

    1 Without France's Intervention In The American Revolution The USA Wouldn't Exist

    2 Without the USA's Intervention In WW2 France Wouldn't Exist

    3 Napoleon's Victory At Austerlitz is Considered To Be One Of The Greatest And Most Complete Victories In The History Of Warfare By All Military Historians

    4 Without Martel Defeating The Moors they May Have Overrun All Of Western Europe

    5 Not Many Troops In The World Have A Better Combat Reputation Than The French Foreign Legion.

    6 At Least they could Beat The Italian Army

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  • 5 years ago

    Its Frances belief of (LOC) ....The French have Won most of their Wars ....but the French Withdraw because of THE LEGACY OF CHARLEMAGNE.....Philosophically the French believe the VATICAN should fight their Wars.. in the 9th century Charlemagne made the Vatican what it was...He gave the Vatican a Military..LOL.

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  • 5 years ago

    It's in French but here is the list about french battle history (green - victory/red - defeat)

    Make your own opinion !

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  • John C
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Remember Napoleon is not french he is a Corsican. Eventually he loses everything too.

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  • 1 decade ago

    False... Napoleon and Joan of Arc

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  • John S
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    their greatest general was a schizophrenic little girl, Joan of Arc, that should say something about their ability to fight.

    • Anton5 years agoReport

      Oh please
      You need bows to kill us.

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  • 1 decade ago
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  • 1 decade ago

    sorry but

    MTBIKR had the best reply ever made on any board ever....

    OH and technically i think Napoleon was Italian.

    • Ash
      Lv 6
      6 years agoReport

      no he was corsican

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