Can a non-romantic marriage be successful?

There will be no expectations.

11 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Non-romantic? Well, you didn't say sex-less so sure! Why not?

    My husband and I have never done romance. I don't have candle light dinners or celebrate valentine's day or whatever else romantic people do. It's just not me. We do have sex though, but I wouldn't call that romantic either.

    So, yes you can have a happy and successful romance free marriage. Just love and enjoy eachother.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes a non romantic marriage can be successful. A marriage is more than just sex/lust. A good marriage is part business too IE running the household, budget, chores

  • 1 decade ago

    Romance is a very nice yet passe past time in our busy lives there is little or no time for romance.

    when you have been together with someone for a long time you become best freinds and your lives just run together. you have to establish from the outset what you both want from the partnership as that is what you have.

    Kind regards and best wishes

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Successful yes. Happy no.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yes I do. People marry for all sorts of reasons and stay that way also. Who are "we" to ask why, if those two are achieving what they set out to do? I also believe that two people can marry and be in complete love and gradually fall out of love but be best friends and end up staying together out of convenience. I have seen this happen way too often in my life. It is easier just to stay married and accept things the way that they are than to be divorced and upset the apple cart, so to speak.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes, but very unlikely. You would both have to be very sure of yourselves and very sure your comfortable with this.

  • 1 decade ago

    No, absolutely not! I have to disagree with the majority of respondants. What is successful? How are you basing the idea of success? Is it happiness, or just getting along together while each gets certain needs met which have nothing to do with love or passion?

    A passionless marriage is not a successful marriage. It isn't a real marriage at all. This is more of a room mate situation rather than a real marriage. This is two people living together with certain home and financial needs met, such as both contributing to the expense of living. That is what room mates do, not the role of a marriage which is about two partners who wish to spend a lifetime together as a couple.

    So what if Hilary Clinton is in a loveless and passionless marraige. This does not mean it is a successful marriage. It only means she and Bill have agreed to live together as man and wife on paper while each achieves certain goals in life which do not have a basis of romance.

    A real marriage is a bonding of two souls together who are very passionate about one another. They have a deep bond which has grown over the years. The initial "falling in love" period is over yet the bond of romance and love is abiding ever deeper into their hearts and souls. They are committed to each ohters welfare and best interests and love each other deeply.

    A non-romantic, passionless marriage is nothing more than two people livng as room mates. It is not a marriage. Thus it can not be successful. Period, end of story.

    This type of situation never builds or grows a bond which is only built upon a foundation of mutual love, respect and passion for each other. A real marriage between two souls who love one another is beautiful. It is the single strongest relationship we have which can last a lifetime if we nurture it and allow it to grow. If there is no passion, no initial romatic bond there is nothing for which a marriage to grow and bloom over the years.

    My grandmother passed away after fifty seven years of marriage with a husband she adored and whom adored her. They had two children together and were extremely bonded. One month to the day of my grandmother's passing, my grandfather layed down on his livng room floor, placed a pillow under his head, crossed his arms over his chest and died. The coronor said there wasn't any apparent cause of death and that he firmly believe he had died of a broken heart. That is a marriage of love and passion. Love and passion has little to do with the actual act of sex. While sex is a gift between to loving individuals it isn't the real passion of a marraige. The passion is from the heart and soul, two who have become as one over years of loving one another. There isn't a bond on earth stronger and more powerful than this.

    It is possible for an arranged marriage to grow into a love of passion and intimancy. Living life together, struggling to raise a family, to keep food on the table, clothes on the back, a roof over the head, the daily grind of living and of being a team can eventually grow into a real love of passion. Especially when two have many adversities over many years that they face together. This binding occurres when each respects and honors the other and first a friendship is established. It is possible to learn to have passion for a person you once never did. Passion can grow out of simply being united in life and working daily to meet the needs of each other.

    When we are working to meet the needs of another then and only then can love and passion begin to grow. It blooms over time and before you know it you look at your spouse and find you have a deep love for that person.

    However, when two people are in a relationship only for what each can attain for themselves, always looking for your own needs to be met and never trying to meet anothers then nothing can grow. It is a barren relationship and unhappiness is enevitable. It is self in extreme and futile to hope anything can grow from selfish and self centered behaivors. The only passion in such a relationship is passion for self, and this is not a fruitful condition for love or happiness to grow.

    So, while a room mate situation can last a very long time it is a barren existance fraught with selfish desires and lack of mutual respect or selfless giving. A "husband" in such a relationship would not see to it that his wife had food even if he had to go without. A wife in such a marriage would not care what he husbands needs were, only that her own were met.

    Nothing lasting can grow from such selfish beginnings. This is my opinion and it is based on personal experiance from watching the relationships of others and learning what makes a real marriage so successful and desireable. I would never wish to live in a passionless or non-romantic relationship for the rest of my life. How sad such a situation would be. What would this teach the children of such a union? Oh, horror or horrors, it would teach selfishness and that it is OK to only go after your own personal needs without ever meeting the needs of anyone else. That it is fine to take and take and take but never to give of yourself. Ugly don't you think? I do.

    So, while it may appear on the face to be something worthwhile it is in actuality not desirable at all. I would wish my child in a relationship based on passion than a passionless relationship any day of the year! I agree with the poster who wrote that such a relationship would cause the "partners" to seek out love in anothers arms. The Eagles have a song called, "Lying Eyes", which sums this all up very nicely. Listen to it and then revisit this idea. I understand this is not a personal belief, but a hypothetical question. However, too many young folks actually consider entering into a relationship based only on what financial resources the other has rather than on a foundation of mutual love, friendship, respect and honor.

  • 1 decade ago

    No! We are human, we have desires and needs.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    yes why not

  • 1 decade ago

    maybe it can be but i dont think you will be happy.

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