Church Bloopers and Blunders?

Does anyone have any church bloopers that you would like to share? I have a few which I will list below...

-- Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

-- Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.

-- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church

and community.

-- Thursday night potluck supper - Prayer and Medication to

follow.

-- The senior choir invites any member of the congregation

who enjoys sinning to join them.

-- This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North

ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

9 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    My daughter did not hear "Take and eat, take and eat" quite the way the songwriter wrote it.

    Instead she belted, "Take the meat, take the meat!"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I read a great book years ago on spoonerisms, which comes from the Reverend William Archibald Spooner, who made a lot of these verbal slips.

    Some of his classics include-

    fighting a liar instead of lighting a fire

    nosey little cook instead of cosy little nook

    our queer old Dean instead of our dear old Queen

    we'll have the hags flung out instead of we'll have the flags hung out

    our shoving leopard instead of our loving shepherd

    and my favorite

    go help me sod instead of so help me God.

    My favorite church sign blooper has to be

    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

    The funniest sign on a school in Georgia was

    Congradulations to our teacher of the year. It was up for over a week before anyone at the school noticed the misspelling.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What should have been a lesson on the Israelites wandering in the wilderness as they followed the pillar & pitched their tents actually turned into a lesson on how the Israelites were in the wilderness following the cloud & pinching their t i t s.

  • 1 decade ago

    yea, my pastor fell down the stairs that leads up to the stage. i couldn't help it. i laughed the whole time i was in church.

    "-- Thursday night potluck supper - Prayer and Medication to

    follow"....LOL...that's classic.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I once heard a young man who had been saved in a country church giving his testimony. He was accustomed to preachers punctuating every statement with "glory to God" or "hallelujah." As he was speaking of how God had saved him from a lifestyle of drug abuse he said "We used to have big bags full of drugs, hallelujah! We had the best dope in the county, glory to God!"

  • 1 decade ago

    Religions say to pray for World Peace but so much conflict in the World is caused by religion.

  • Dawn
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    LOL. I don't have any to add to that - but it sure was fun reading it.

  • Midge
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    weight watchers will meet here next Wednesday: please use the wide double doors to the side.

  • 1 decade ago

    hehehehehehehehe

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