ok i have some
I'm naturally blonde so please speak slowly.
There where two sister, a burnet and a blonde. There parents just died and they Inherited the farm. But the farm was in debt so the burnet says" Okay listen, im going into town to inspect the bull and see if we should buy it. Because we have to bread them to get more money. Now if i decide to buy the bill ill send u a message telling u to come get the ruck to pick up the bull." So the brunet went with the $50 ti check the bull.Finally she decided to buy it "so how much will the bull be."" exactly $49" : good: she said and handed him the money. Next she went to the telegraph store and asked the man "hey i need to send my sister a message telling her to come get the bull," "sure i can help you,for a dollar per.word" So the sister sat and thought about whatshe would send her finally she said " okay i want to send my sister the word "comfortable"the man looked at her puzzled."but how will the word comforable tell her to come to get the bull" now the sister look at him like he was dumb and said "Sir, My sisters' A Blonde, She Reads Very Slowly, Com-for-da-ble."
ok thats one, her is another one
There are two blondes outside and one says "which do u think is closer, Flordia or the moon?' The other blonde says "The Moon Duh! You cant see Flordia"
ok that is another one , here are a couple more
A blonde decided to dye her hair black on day. After that she took a drive into the country. She saw a sheep farmer who had a sign up that read, " Guess gow many sheep I have, and get a free sheep." She went up to him and said" You Have exactly 387 sheep" "thats right You Get a free sheep!" he exclaimed She took one and sat in her car with the sheep ready to go when the farmer came up to her and said "If I can guess your natural hair color, can i have my dog back?"
How Do u kill a Blonde?
put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool
How Do Blondes kill birds?
Throw them off a cliff
How do u entertain a blonde?
Have a piese of paper with an arrow on each side
How do blondes committ suicides?
jump off a crub
Which would jump off a building?, King Kond, Godzilla, or a smart Blonde?
none. none of them exsist
A redhead walks into the doctor's office and says:
All of my bones are broken!
The doctor says: Show me.
So she pokes herself all over her and body and screams OWW! each time
The doctor ask: Are u really a redhead?
She replies: No. Im acctually a blonde.
The doctor says: thought so.Your finger is broken
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
A blonde executive was driving by a field one day when she saw a blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a dirt field. She drove over to her and said, "It's idiots like you that give blondes a bad name, and if I could swim I would come over there and kick your ***!"
A beautiful blonde lady stepped onto a plane going to L.A. and sat down in first class. The flight attendant proceeded to go around the airplane checking the ticket stubs of each passenger to make sure they were all in the right seats. When she got to the Blonde woman she noticed that it was for Coach seating, not first class. She tells the woman, "You're ticket says coach maam and we have a full flight today. I'm going to have to ask you to move." To which the blonde replies, "You don't understand, I'm blonde, beautiful, I'm going to L.A. and I'm getting there in first class." Confused, the stewardess gets her supervisor. Again, she tells the woman that she must move. Again, the blonde replies, "You don't understand, I'm blonde, beautiful, I'm going to L.A. and I'm getting there in first class." Also confused, they go get the captain. He tells the woman that she must move. The blonde starts to say, "You don't understand, I'm blonde, beautiful..." when he interrupts and asks, "Can I whisper something in your ear?" "Sure" she replies and he proceeds to whisper something in her ear. Suddenly she gets up and goes back to coach seating with a look of surprise on her face. The flight attendants are startled. "How did you get her to move?" "I told her that first class wasn't going to L.A."
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
one more it is a long one
There was a blonde driving home from her work ,when she hit a truck.
The man was very furious and open the door of his Dodge with a piece of chalck in his hand. He came over to the blonde, now out of her car, and drew a circle around her on the pavement, He looked up at her and said "DONT MOVE OUT OF THIS CIRCLE!!" The blonde nodded at the man and he walked off to the blonde's car.
The man stated smashing the windows of the car, popping the four tired,smashing the headlights, making dents in the car, and doing everything possible to total the blonde's car. In the making of all this, the blonde started laughing. The furious man turned around and yelled "WHAT ARE YOUR LAUGHING ABOUT?!?!", but turned around, ignoring the blonde's answer.
He continnued to smash the car, doing everything possible, but yet again, the blonde started laughing, this time louder. The man, now getting more irritated, turned around and said, " STOP THAT LAUGHING LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!" , but turned around again, ignoring the blonde.
He still continued to wreck the car. The Blonde, now hiterically laughing and shedding tears from laughing, was about ready to pee her pants, Finally the mad man turned around and shouted at the top of his lungs "WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" the blonde, nearly fallen over said through her laughter, " I STEPPED OUT OF THE CIRCLE THREE TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
well thats all i have for now
· 1 decade ago