Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 1 decade ago

Please help, about my dad and he is just using me contently please read thanks?

Before you go on a rant how my dad loves me, he started a company ( a few years ago and has been all into that and hasn't talked to me with a real conversation ever, like ever. Before that he always went to the bar and now he get's stressed and drinks and get's drunk and i've tried to talk to him about it but like he just threatens me and we get into fights normally ending in physical fighting but that's another story and don't say call the cops because it's not an answer what I need to know because I've tried to build a life and a relationship with him but he always using me and drops me later, I've tried to just sit down and talk to him but he just ignores me and throws it all to the side, what should I do? I've tried too many times to count and now it's gotten to the point where I'm either going to give him one more shot to be in my life or just tell him don't bother, what should I do? My g/f hates to see me and him like this but I know that if I give him another chance, he will dro

Update:

drop me like he always does and it messes me up pretty bad and I'll admit that and I don't want to have my g/f to go through that, so should I give him one more shot and be upfront like I've done so many times before or just tell him straight up, stop bothering because you had your chances? His world revolves around money I'd explain more but I'm too confused right now (see other questions as to why) I just gotta know this now, do I give him another shot? I mean I know he's just gonna use me and drop me but idk I almost hope he'd change, but I know after the guilt trip he'll give me, he'll go back to what he always does, what should I do?

Update 2:

I'm 15 turning 16 in September

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your situation with your dad sounds pretty complicated. You've obviously been trying to do the right thing and mend the relationship. However, it may be a good idea to talk to a counselor to get some advice on how to better approach the situation. Sometimes it just helps to talk to a professional and get their advice, especially since your dad seems to have a problem with alcohol. And it doesn't mean that you have to turn your dad into the cops or anything like that. Just take care of yourself and get the help you need in order to handle the situation better. You obviously care a great deal about your father and want to salvage your relationship...so go that extra mile and seek out professional advice. After all...what do you have to lose? It doesn't sound like your father could treat you any worse than he already does.

    Good luck to you in whatever course of action you choose... I hope it works out for you and your father.

    Source(s): Looks like this website may offer some good advice ... http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Media=PlayFla...
  • 1 decade ago

    Dealing with alcoholics is difficult, and it's impossible to have a good relationship with one. All you can do is hope that he quits drinking and gets his life together, but you can't make him do it. Only he can make that change. The sooner his life hits bottom the more likely he'll be to quit drinking, so do whatever you think you need to do to take care of yourself. You can rebuild the relationship with him later when he quits drinking.

  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds like you want to walk away, but you fear guilt. It's time you do something for yourself. He has many problems, as you have described. I would get into an alcohol or drug program that supports families of alcoholics. You can't do anything for him until he is ready to do something for himself.

    You do need to see him as a sick person that you cannot cure. But you also need to learn about the disease because it has affected you. Please seek some help for yourself. If he discovers he is alone, maybe he will clean up his act. But, either way, you have a right to live your life decently.

    Source(s): You didn't mention your age. However, even if you are under the age of 18, you can go to public family services and tell them your situation. There are foster homes and you sound like a really cool kid. You can interview some potential foster parents before accepting to be placed with them. Most foster parents want to help children and will give you the space you need. Also, you would be eligible to receive counciling so you can understand your father more and learn how you are powerless over his actions. You can not control another person. You can only change yourself or your own situation. Good Luck!
  • 1 decade ago

    Tell him when he grows up to come back into your life. You shouldn't have to put up with any physical crap no matter what, especially since he is your dad. Sounds like you have things more together than he does. One day he should see it but I would wait from a distance. Let him know you are there for him but aren't going through the crap anymore. Good luck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    my dad drinks alot to and i am not really in his life witch really hurts at times because well he is my dad. and of course i love him. its really hard to deal with. i tried and tired to make sure he stays in my life but it didn't work i have not talked to him in about 2 years. he use to beat me. you need to let him know ( hopefully when he is sober ) how you feel. but honestly if he isn't willing to stop drinking then it might be best not to talk to him for a while move on with your life ( that is if your old enough) make him realize that he is going to lose you and he might change then, but if he doesn't then your probably better off with out. if you ever wanna talk just e mail me....i know what your going though

  • 1 decade ago

    what you need to realize is you can't make him change...you know that but your asking this question just to see if you have not done all you can....you have already done all you can...it takes two to make things change between two persons and your dad isn't having any of it....live and learn...many time children pick up bad habits from parents...don't allow his problems to become yours.

  • 1 decade ago

    Offhand, I'd say no. Tell him that you're there once he gets himself into AA or something, but that you can't keep giving him second, third, and fourth chances if he's really not committed to changing himself.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Back off until he gets his life straight, but always be ready to be there for him. You need to move your own life forward.

  • 1 decade ago

    not sure how old you are but, find someone that can help you understand your dad. perhaps ala-non. If you are an adult and on your own just stay away. someday he will come looking for you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Are you over 18? If yes, move out. If no, wait till you are 18 and... move out.

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