How can you tell if a guy is just shy or just likes you as a friend?

so... say things click... are some guys really shy that they cannot make the first move... and if anything were to happen.. the girl has to step it up? sucks w/ two shy people in that department of making the first steps.....

16 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    oh man, kelly this question was made for me to answer!!!! Yes, some guys are very shy, even if they are confident in other areas. I have passed up so many opportunities in my life with women because I just couldn't take the first step or more often, I felt like "it" was there, the attraction etc, but I also feared I might be misreading the situation and didn't want to lose a friend. I know this to be true because I've actually had female friends ask me straight out why I never made a move. Usually this is after time has gone by and I always say, "why didn't you say something or hint or something" Generally they said, "you meat head, I did, you just didnt respond" I think most women get the idea that the guy is supposed to make the first move. Well, I'll tell you from my point of view, I wish so much that women would be more honest with guys. It's okay to be a little more assertive. (okay, did I just say that?) Guess I should listen to my own advise!!! Anyways, we guys get the butterflys in the stomach and the dreaded fear of rejection too. Hope that helps.

  • 1 decade ago

    GIRLLLL.

    i totally know how you feel because i was just in that same situation. i wouldn't consider myself THAT shy, but i was still shy.

    haha the guy i was seeing was very shy as well so you can just imagine.. two shy people, never doing anything or approaching each other. we talked to each other by myspace, aim, and rarely on the phone and in person.

    he was shy to make the first move, even though both of us really liked each other. i'm not trying to say the guy should ALWAYS make the first move but it's nice if he did =) haha no offence to you guys!

    honestly, you guys will get NO WHERE if neither of you don't take the initiative and do something about it. one or the other has to step it up, man or woman! if you have to do it, than just do it. i had to step it up and made the first move. i kissed him first too! if you do make the first move, it will lessen the load on the guy, making him feel either more comfortable around you or lower his confidence because you had to take reigns on this hahaha. iono, it can go either way but most likely, it will make him feel better that he didn't have to do it.

    no worries! just take things slow, and evenutally, he'll man it up and grow up balls and take some action FIRST and not make you do it =]

    good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, he could be really shy and not know how to make the first move, but if one of you don't, nothing will happen. I would muster up the courage and just ask him out for coffee or a drink and see what he says in a friendly manner. If he likes you more than a friend, he will smile and take you up on it. If he is sort of uncertain at that point and kind of hesitates or says no, then he is not interested in you more than just a casual friend.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, some guys out there are (unfortunately) really that shy.

    I'd say there are some telltale hints you can leave him that can make it very obvious that you like him and increase the odds that he'll actually make a move. But, call me a bit old-fashioned, I tend to still prefer it if guys initiate the first dates. Guys like to feel empowered and in control, sometimes they'll feel threatened if a woman is too assertive with the dating...and I bet you'd want to confirm that he actually is really interested in you before putting yourself on the line and asking him out of the blue.

    Still, consider trying to leave obvious hints...that'll up the ante a bit and force him to make it clear whether he feels the same way. You can be flirtatious and suggestive with him, even nonverbally if you're too shy to tell him anything. Initiate eye contact with him frequently, smirk and wink at him when he looks your way, give him long hugs and press your body against his when you do so.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    You can tell if hes shy because he keeps talking to you and he compliments you alot. He would like you as a friend if its just like friendly talk like "how was your day." But I'm not really sure. I know what the guy is going through though it sucks >.>

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well im kind of a shy person, and unless i am completely sure i like a girl and or she likes me then i wont really make an effort to make any move, but i try to drop hints to a girl if i liked her. so theres no real way to tell if someone likes you and is shy unless u guys acctually talk about it. each person is different and may show thier personality on different ways.

  • macko
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    whether he's shy, he nonetheless has a character. whilst your around him, watch his facial expressions. whether you're in basic terms offering him a cupcake, attempt to be around him as much as attainable. i understand your shy yet in basic terms attempt to have a communicate with him. yet don't get obsessed. (do not hover around him 24/7...extremely if he's shy.) harm out of your shy bubble. wish this facilitates:) P.s.- i used to be quite shy, too. I broke that habit, and now i'm a social butterfly. Lol

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Go slow, but go ahead and invite him on a date. Make sure it looks like a date--a movie at night, followed by a walk or go for ice cream. Hold his hand and see how it goes.

    Speaking from experience, guys don't want girls as friends--they want a girlfriend.

  • 1 decade ago

    depends on what he does for you. if it is just things that are a little beyond friends then hes probably just looking for friends. if hes attentive to you and going beyond but wont let you know or seems to always want to say something more then he most likely likes you and is shy.

    not sure what to tell you. maybe he needs to be pushed a little or maybe you should speak up. he may run and hide or may not.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    time will tell. if it takes more than 3 mths do consider to move on. i am a shy guy but when come to girl i like i will advance as long as she give me hints she likes me. god bless.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.