Should I take back a beating and cheating husband for the sake of our kids?

He goes into these jealous rages and accuses me of cheating just because our first child isn't his, but I was a victim of date rape before I've even meet him. A while ago he did some crazy stuff. He brought his ex-girlfriend in to help him beat up my family and destroy my whole house. I asked for a divorce but know he will try to come back but what should I do?

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  • Di
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    For the sake of the kids??

    Do you think your kids want to see you beaten?

    Do you think your kids want to see you disrespected?

    Do you think your kids want to see you unhappy?

    Do you think your kids are going to be happy living like this?

    How are your kids going to treat people in their future with this example?

    What is going to happen next?

    Is he going to go after you kids?

    Maybe he'll just kill the one that isn't his?

    What has to happen before it's enough?

    GET OUT! NOW! HURRY! DON'T WAIT!

    For the sake of you and your kids, RUN!

    Get a restaining order. Stay in a homeless shelter.

    Stay with freinds.

    Stay with family.

    Do what ever you have to do to get you and your kids away from him!

    Give your kids hugs for me!

    God bless you and your kids and good luck!

    Source(s): Life
  • crjesq
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Hell no. In fact, in some states, letting an abusive spouse back into the home is a reason to remove the kids and place them in DSS. Even if the kids aren't getting beaten, they are being emotional abused/neglected by all the conflict and unhealthy images, emotions and examples. What you should do is go to the police and ask for assistance in getting a restraining order against him. And then, don't let him get anywhere near you without calling the police. You need to keep him away from you and the children, and also to prove that you tried to protect the children from his influence.

  • 1 decade ago

    Children who live with domestic violence are scarred for life. The boys believe that it is acceptable to beat women and do not know how to deal with anger effetively. The girls believe that it is acceptable to be beaten. They live in fear every single day. They have nightmares for years after. There is nothing worse than hearing your mother being beaten, screaming and crying for help and not being able to help her.

    It effects every aspect of relationships that they have in the furture. And don't think for a minute that they don't see and hear everything that goes on because they do.

    The best thing to do is to move in with family or friends. You need someone around you at all times.

    If you don't have family and friends to help then call the local YWCA or Domestic Crisis Center and they will help you.

    Do it for the sake of your kids.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't incourage it, but it seems like you have made up your mind already. Your gonna take him back! and if your not; what is so different now him beating on you or before? I don't mean to come down so hard, but your first line says, he goes into these jealous rages.......how many jealous rages, or beatings you gotta take before you realize your worth as a woman. I'm not gonna tell you to leave your husband, but I will tell you this... you got to decide what makes you truely happy in life. You fall in love with yourself. Cause if you were in love with yourself like you want a man to love you....your husband would beat you, and trust and believe it anint got nothing to do with your first son....that's the excuse and guilt don't go for it. This has everything to do with him only!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Girl go the other way seems like he has jealousy issues and long as you stay there he can harm you and your kids the next time around. Run far away from him he is not even worth it at all. You do not need to be with no one like this for the sake of your kids. If you love yourself and your kids then you know what to do. GOD did not make us to be no punching bags for those sorry low down men. We are queens and we deserve to be treated like one go out find you a KING!!! Leave him back there with Satan he is a coward and that is no role model for your kids at all.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is the easiest question to answer. RUN as fast as you can, pack up those kids and leave. You should probably try to find ways to regain your self-esteem, this shouldn't even be a question, you should know the answer. Kids will do much better if they are in a safe environment. Home is supposed to be the safest place for kids, but when home is the place that they are fearful and so is their mother, you could be damaging them more than if you raised them on your own.

  • 1 decade ago

    If this is for real, you absolutely must run to your nearest battered women's shelter. You MUST do this to protect your kids. If what you wrote is true, this guy is severely insane and you are in great danger. I have a degree in medical science and have worked with dangerously mentally ill patients in a state mental health facility before, so I know what I am talking about here. You and/or your kids could be killed--this guy has totally lost control of himself and contact with reality. Find a battered woman's shelter RIGHT NOW and start telling them everything. Get going. It's like you are sitting on a railroad track with your kids, and the train is coming. MOVE!

    --->Please listen to me. I know what I'm talking about.

    Kent in SD

  • 1 decade ago

    no way! is that the life you want???? is that the life you want your kids to think is right???? the best thing for everyone involved would be to get a divorce, if you take him back its like its saying its ok to do that and its not! I have divorced parents (similar situation to yours) and I was so happy when they split up as the house was peaceful and I got to know both of them individually (plus double present etc ha ha!) dont be scared, you know whats best for you, and for your kids. Your amazing and you deserve a fabulous life with someone that treats you like the goddess that you are xxx

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It depends on where you live. I would call a local ladies home that helps with domestic abuse. He is wrong, and messed up. Do you really think your kids deserve to grow up with that? No...you need to move away, and don't look back. If you tell me what town you are in, I can find out a ladies group home that can take care of you and your family and get you on the right track. I would seriously worry about saving your lives. Do it FOR your children. Please.

  • 1 decade ago

    get a restraining order, leave screw the house go some where anywhere but there. Your kids are in danger. Even if he doesnt hurt them, they see what he does to you, and sadly do you want your children to grow up thinking that its okay to abuse or be abused. You need to move on, find someone to love you and your kids, and let that man teach your children what love is supposed to LOOK like.

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