limon asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

How to stop fear, trust and get close to someone?

Everytime I meet a wonderful person, I always come up with some excuse, why it wouldnt work out. I fear of getting hurt. My mother died at a young age, and I grew up with my father a business man, who moved me around a lot, I had 4 different mothers. Who have verbally and emotionally abused me. I am not acustomed to kisses or token of affection. I love and lost many close friends because of my unstable lifestyle. I have since been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I sometimes feel empty inside. This year I have dated 3 wonderful men, but for each one I somehow find a way to ruin it and push them away...I would love to break this barrier and have my own family one day.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ever hear the line, "sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, love like you've never been hurt." ?

    I know, it's hard to do, love like you've never been hurt, because unfortunately, you will get hurt, everyone does. And it sucks. The thing to realize is that the hurt goes away, things always get better, and things always happen for a reason. When you meet a special person, it's difficult to let yourself go, be yourself, love like you've never been hurt, but I truely believe it's the best way to love, because one day, you will find that person that will love you the same way, love you like he's never been hurt, and you'll be amazed at how good that feels. You have to learn to take chances, and yes, like I said, you will get hurt sometimes, but all that hurt is what prepares you for what will one day be the most amazing relationship you could ever have, and the hurt will be gone and forgotten, and you'll wonder why you waited so long to love like that and let yourself be loved. That is key... let yourself be loved.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Candy- There is hope! The first thing is to be open to answers and hopefully since you even asked the question you probably are. With that said, everyone has a story and things that have occurred in their life that help shape them. It is up to the person though to make an effort to change negative trends, which judging by what you wrote negative happenings from you past are keeping you from happiness. Their is actually a simple answer- keep taking your medicine prescribed by your doctor for you bipolar and most importantly just trust. You have to trust because you have no choice. Does that make sense? But God has given you intellect and use that to discern good from bad. Always follow your first instinct, that gut feeling, even if you prefer not to- it won't let you down- this is a wonderful gift from God. Lastly I suggest becoming Catholic- trust me, go to an RCIA clas and get to know the faith and if you already are Catholic you aren't in touch. Because if you truly know God's love and you put complete trust in Him you won't go wrong- what's the least that could happen, you might find what you are looking for. Do you TRUST me? I hope this helped. I might add that I realze with the world we live in that this might not have been the most popular answer but I am promising you that you won't be disappointed. If you have any other questions, just ask! Peace be with you Candy.

  • 1 decade ago

    Since you know it's you that's doing it - that's half the battle! So many people blame everybody else but themselves. You admit you push people away. So all you need to do is a little self-analysis. But be gentle with yourself. The major reason is fear of rejection and abandonment and intimacy issues because love and affection are unfamiliar to you (not your fault). It's the way you've been programmed to react to other people. And being bipolar doesn't help. But I swear half the world is bipolar, and the other half has another mental health issue, so you're not alone. It's the stressful and toxic times we live in. A good therapist will help you work around these issues. You're halfway there Girlfriend, and you'll be just fine once you get it all figured out. Blessings and Bliss! - Bunny

  • 1 decade ago

    Love is Pain.

    In 2007, very few people can be trusted which is very sad.

    Don't let your guard down all the way.

    Fear is a defense mechanism.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Don't be afraid to trust people, they can be selfish, uncaring and thoughtless sometimes but there are good people out there.

    We haven't really come that far from a primative state, remember we're only human. Making mistakes is only natural.

    You should be able to let your gaurd down, just not with everyone. You'll be able to trust again, just allow yourself to.

  • Raf
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Bipolar can wreck havoc on relationships. Medication and therapy are important. The medication can control mood swings, but a good therapist will help you break the destructive cycles.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    See bipolar disorder and depression treatments at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 5, and 2. Check out www.drdrew.com on abuse, and consider getting the relevant downloads from http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com Therapy may well benefit you.

  • 1 decade ago

    well atleast u relize ur doing it.talk about it with them and explain then maybe talkin will help and take baby steps..

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