what do you do when your mager curses and screams at you?
I began a new job in a field i am not familiar with a couple of months ago. I work for a VERY small comapny (4 people) and my BIG boss (the owner) is out of town. My acting manager is getting frustrated with my mistakes at work. I have made some mistakes, but most have been from inadequate training and lack of information. She has been awful to me for a while but especially the last two weeks because she is getting frustrated with my errors. I can understand the frustration, but she has not really been any help to me either and is VERY rude and has no respect for others. Today she confronted me about the errors, and when I tried to explain myself she began yelling at me. when i told her she didnt need to yell at me, she told me she did need to yell and that was followed by several insults inluding yelling at me that I was "a f****** baby" as she walked out and slammed the door! What should I do, I have already written to my boss about her behavior, but it is just getting worse!..
Can they really expect me to do my best work under these conditions? What would you do if you were the big boss? DO I have any rights that can keep me from being treated this way at work besides quitting? What would you do?
o.k....i get that my grammar and spelling was not perfect. this is not work, i had just gotten home and was very upset...geez i had a rough day give me a break....and YES i know i didn't capitalize correctly either....pfft
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Start documenting the date, time, and what was said, then when the BIG boss comes back into town, you'll have a record of the incidents. No one deserves to be yelled at by anyone.
- 1 decade ago
The best advise I can give to you is when she starts yelling at you calmly interupt her and ask the question politely and with a calm voice"I'm sorry, but I was wondering - Do you ever make mistakes?" She will have to stop yelling because you have interupted her brain pattern with a question, which she must think about to answer. Then just tell her that everyone is human and everyone makes mistakes and ask her if she would be willing to inform you more about the job and give you the training you really need for the specifics of how everything is to be done, so that you can both get over this hurdle. I have found that questions are the best way to interupt someones present mood. I hope this helps.
- 1 decade ago
By responding, you feed the behavior and in a round-about way, you're encouraging it, but I'm not saying you should ignore her and let her walk all over you.
The previous advice, call the cops, document the incidents, record the tantrum bouts and so on are great, but also don't forget, that based on your story your acting manager might not be yelling if you weren't making mistakes.
So first, make sure you make no more mistakes, or at least drastically reduce them. And if you do make a mistake, make sure you made the mistake because you did your best to think it through and it was a very honest mistake. You know what they say, look at yourself first. That said... onto confronting the boss.
I don't know how tall you are, but this always works. When the boss starts yelling at you, stand up, face him/her and keep your feet about shoulder width. Keep your head at a level angle and look her straight in the eye... plant your feet, don't move an inch, and above all don't say a word -- look her in the eye and don't flinch. Let her yell, and let her keep going, but during this time, you must stand confidently and wholeheartedly square and infront of her and look her in the eyes with confidence... let her yell. Let her get it all out of her system. She'll eventually run out of wind, but when she does... just stand there. Don't say a word... keep looking at her. She'll get her second wind... again, just stand there and look her in the eyes... don't flinch. Your psychological maturity and strength is what's needed here. Keep quiet until she has absolutely nothing else to say. Because she's looking for a reaction from you, but you don't give her any, she'll have nothing to bite on to keep going on. Let her just get it out of her system. Don't coax her, just stand there planted square and centered on the ground, back straight and again eyes connect with your boss'. When she runs out of wind, and has nothing to bite on, she'll feel stupid. She'll probably just end up walking away feeling low and stupid. If she yells and asks a question, don't answer because chances are with a long enough pause, she'll answer it herself. With a long enough pause she'll feel stupid for not getting anything from you. Don't throw her a bone.
If she continues to yell and touches you, wham, that's assault, call the cops. Don't hit her back, and don't say a thing. Because she can't get a reaction from you, she'll probably push or nudge you in frustration, awesome! That's assault call the cops.
Of course, don't forget to hit record on the tape recorder. And ensure you have the phone number to the cops. Stand fast and stand firm. This kind of tactic requires very serious psychological and mental strength and maturity. If you do this half-assed, you'll look even worse and feel even worse about yourself. This is a tough one, but hey you lose this job, you'll probably be thankful; why would you want to stay in a place like this. And if you don't lose this job and she get fired, you'll feel better. If nothing happens, the tension will continue, and you'll continue feeling bad and someone will end up leaving, and it's likely going to be you.
Before you go to work everyday, until your real boss returns, do some stretches and breathing exercises at home. Mentally prepare yourself for what lies at work. Good luck.
- ann mLv 41 decade ago
I would definitely try to spell better, esp. if it's part of your job. Making excuses never helps, it sounds like the job is to much for you to handle. Maybe other workers would be able to help you do a better job. It has to be frustrating to have an employee that constantly makes mistakes. What do you do? How did you get a job you were not familiar with? Why did you apply if you couldn't do the job? Did the personnel manager tell you there is a 90 day trial period, or that they had on the job training? I guess you will have to wait for your employer to get back and try and work it out with him/her. Good Luck in any case.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
Your recourse is limited by the labour laws in whatever jurisdiction you happen to be living in. Personally, I wouldn't bother going to the law, as it usually causes as many or more problems than it solves. You could tough it out and bring your manager's unprofessional behaviour to the attention of the owner, but that might not get you very far either, as your manager has been there longer than you. If it's an option, start sharpening up your resume and get out of there.
After having posted, I read some of the other answers to your question. Recording your manager isn't a bad idea, as long as you do it openly, to avoid any problems with the law. Make sure you put the date and time into your tape recording. You can get decent, relatively small, hand-held tape recorders for not very much money. Documenting the abuse might get her to shut the f*ck up.
- theanswermanLv 41 decade ago
You can file a lawsuit for your manager creating a hostile work environment...You shouldn't have to put up with stuff like that. I guess if it's a small company then they don't have a human resources department you can complain to. Make sure you document everything that happens and try once again to explain to her that you haven't been properly trained. You think she'd be grateful for the fact that you're trying to do a better job but some people are just like that. Personally I hope you stick it to her. I hate hearing about bosses like that.
- 1 decade ago
Before or after you punch her in the face??? Just kidding. Just be patient with her but definately do NOT let her walk all over you. Yell back if necessary but there is never an excuse for her behavior. Tell your boss personally and then if nothing is changed then I suggest talking to the 'Better Business Bureau' and get that settled legally. She shouldnt treat people like that. And just think, if shes comfortable treating you that way then she is comfortable treating others that way and not every body is stong enough to deal with something like that
- Anonymous1 decade ago
This manager is yelling at you because she is unable to do HER job, she is obviously ill equipped, and if she can point out your mistakes, then maybe no one will recognize that she can't do her job adequately either.
I never needed a job so bad that I would take that kind of crap from anyone! If people are not happy with my work, and were good enough at theirs to take me aside, and present the problem to me, I am more than happy to try hard to do the job to their satisfaction. But you yell, and worse yet CURSE at me, I'm outta there!! I have enough confidence that I will not take that! I would rather work for a lower paying job and be respected than to make a bit more money to be yelled and cursed at.
- 1 decade ago
Ok sweety... After I read all the answers here I think the things are quite simple as I see them.
I work at a transport company and my direct boss is kind of hard to work with. At least, in your case, your manager let's say that had the reasons to get mad at you but she didn't had the right to curse you, but... mine... he cursed me even if I didn't do anything wrong... just because "he was stressed out"... The poor man... Anyway... He had no right to do that. I kept thinking for a couple of days, I analised the "big picture" and I went to the general manager to discuss the issue with him. (hmmm... I lough every time I think about it) He told me to let it be, that my direct boss will calm down in a day or two and if it will happen again to go to him and tell him. Damn... When I heard that I said to GM that I'll quit before wait for happen same sh!t once more.
Anyway... after long negociations I got an extra 60% of my salary as a raise... :)
So I started to do my job and ignore my direct boss as much as I could, which if you ask me is quite difficult as we are both in the same office and we see eachother 11hrs per day.
You know now why I got 60% more to my salary... :)
Talk to your boss and if you get nothing out of it... then quit, but if you do get something... think twice before accepting... think of what you have to endure every day with that "manager" of yours (who, in my humble opinion, is not even close to a manager)
- Mopar Muscle GalLv 71 decade ago
Don't show that you are intimidated , scared , or upset
the next time you work with her
walk right up to her, get really close to her face to face and whisper that you are not going to take this lying down
then walk away
Dont elaborate or say any more
Dont argue back if she starts a fight again
stay calm ( even if you are quaking inside) and quiet
smile and shrug your shoulders and walk away
showing that you don't frighten or get flustered should make her shut up and be puzzled and or afraid of what you might be planning to doSource(s): works for me I am a Union Rep and I dont let my fellow employees get the best of me Or at least I dont show that they get me frazzled