my wife is not great at making love to me and does not watch porn how do I get her to improve in our sex life?

I have a beautiful, sexy wife, who, before we got married, promised me that she would give me great at sex, but I'm finding that I rarely enjoy sex with her: she seldom performs oral sex, and when she does it does not stimulate me; she does not know how to give proper hand jobs, she does not kiss properly; she does not understand my body language when i ask her to slow down or speed up or change the angle, and while she was a virgin, her vaginal walls are not very strong (I don't like anal) to stimulate my penis. I seldom ejaculate while having sex with her whereas I can *** on my own and in my past relationships, I enjoyed amazing sex. what should I do?


I have tried to teach her various ways. Everything I expect of her I do for her. She climaxes when I perform oral on her; while fingering her; during intercourse, since I can maintain for over a 1/2 hr (due to lack of continual enjoyment). She also enjoys the way I fondle and kiss her. It was the same in past relationships. I do know that she enjoys sex with me because she gets multiple orgasms. I can often tell that she climaxed when I feel her vagina pulsate and I can also tell because she gets extra wet after she climaxes. That's usually when she tells me that I can go ahead and ***... and I try very hard. It's like the opposite of premature ejac.

13 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    First of all, if you want amazing sex you have to marry someone with a little experience, not a virgin. She's got a lot to learn and you aren't going to teach her anything with body language. You have to tell her exactly what you want and show her how to do it if she doesn't get it right. And if her vaginal walls aren't very strong then she's not getting off either. They are just like any other muscle in the human body and they only develop strength with use.

  • 4 years ago


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  • 1 decade ago

    Tell your wife what you need; if it's not too kinky (like anal sex) she will probably be happy for your trusting her enough to let her know. If you can give her lessons, she will improve unless she is too timid in that area, if so, you probably should go to a therapist together. Above all, don't cheat! That will ruin everything and I don't think you are ready to do that. Sometimes men, themselves, do not allow themselves full release with the person they most love and respect (for strange psychological reasons) and maybe you could have some kind of a problem like that. Whatever it is, a sex therapist can help you discover it and deal with it. Good luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Teach her...tell her what feels good and what doesn't. Help her along with gentleness and passion. Buy a good book (10 Secrets to Amazing Sex) and tell her that you want to learn new things together. Whatever you do, make it seem as if you both need to learn so you don't hurt her feelings. The book will talk about Kegal exercises for her to strengthen her vaginal muscles also.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I believe you 2 should seak maybe some sex therapy. I dont know anything else to suggest for you hun other than that. Im having the same problems but the oposite with my husband. He is a total prude where sex used to be great now its horrible and same old same old hopefully somebody can give us some good advise lol

  • 1 decade ago

    you need to communicate with her and tell her what you like and how to do it so that you enjoy it but by the same token do not forget that it goes both ways how do you know your past relationships thought you to be such an amazing lover

  • 1 decade ago

    teach her how to fake it

    it seems to me that is what you looking for

    because since she was a virgin it is your job to teach her

    or you get someonelse to do the job for you

    because a smart man will teach his wife instead of bictchi*g about it

    by the way sex is different whe you don't pay for it

    I think you use to pay for it in the pass

  • 1 decade ago

    your screwed, I don't know whats worse this or the bait and switch, where premairtal sex was awesome then after the wedding no more b js no more hand jobs, no more two a days, nothin

  • 1 decade ago

    Encourage her to get a new b/f, sounds like she needs it! She might respond to some-one a little less selfish.

  • 1 decade ago

    Show her porn, and get her Cosmo magazine.

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