how do you deal with the death of a friend who was like your brother????

my very close friend died on monday and i am just finding it way hard to deal with it. we grew up together and when i was younger i pretty much lived at his house of and on for several months. the hard thing is finding stuff to occupy my time. i start to do stuff but then im reminded of him. so i just sit and do nothing. but when i do nothing i think alot so its sort of a drag. i went to work yesterday and today to take my mind off of it but i work at a library so when i see certain books i think "oh travis liked that book". how do i get out of this rut that im in?? i cant seem to get out of it and i just keep crying over and over again because im so sad. what should i do??

even my birthday yesterday didn't cheer me up. its just sadness all around. i am never this sad when a family member dies, but this has just set me off on a grief trip that doesn't seem to stop. i can't stop thinking about it and its starting to make my family depressed as well. i dont know how to deal with it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Obviously, you loved this person very much. You need to give yourself time to go through the stages of grief. People pass through it on different schedules unique to themselves, and this sadness is still very new. Sometimes family members are not as close as we think. Other times, we expect their passing for one reason or another and come to terms with it slowly - still sad, but the element of shock is missing. It is also possible that since this is a peer, it gives you a glimpse that you are not invincible. In time you will deal with it. Remember, a loved one who passes can life forever in your heart. You cannot rush or hide from the grief process. Work through it, get counseling if you need it, but try to celebrate your friend's life.

    Source(s): been their, done that
  • 1 decade ago

    It's very tough when you lose someone very close to you. It's okay if you take a week or two off to grieve and be sad and cry. It's a natural reaction. When my dad, who was like my best friend, died, I cried and cried for two weeks and didn't think I'd ever get over it. Eventually some of the pain faded away. I still think about him every day, and get really sad from time to time, but the pain lessens over time. Give yourself some time to grieve, and then start doing things a little at a time. It's really tough at first, and there's not much anyone can do for you, but time heals the pain. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I know words don't really help right now, but I really hope things get better for you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Grief is not a process you will complete in a week, a month, or even a year. There will always be a hole in your heart from the space that person once filled. But with time, that hole will heal. There will always be a scar, a reminder...and that will never go away, but you will eventually stop feeling as much pain.

    It does get easier, but you have to give yourself time. That's the hardest part, the waiting. But know that it does get easier with time. You just can't rush through it.

    Surround yourself with positive people and positive influences. Be compassionate with yourself and allow yourself to go through this process. It's an unbelievably difficult one, but sadly when we lose someone we love, we have no other choice.

  • kind1
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Dear Neal sorry for your loss, you are grieving and that's Ok. Your friends death is fresh but it will get better with time! He was apart of you, so take the time you need to grieve, it's ok to cry and the only thing I can say to you is try to do some fun stuff, things your enjoy to sorta keep your mind off the death of your dear friend! Good luck, If you need a shoulder you have many friends here on Q&A including me! I pray that you pull through this!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I understand what you are going through, nothing seems fair or right bc your friend is not here to share it with you. Its what you think about constantly and trying to take your mind off of it leaves you feeling guilty and depressed. The reality is, it never gets easier, you just get used to feeling the pain. The best thing you can do for yourself, and the honor of your friend is to live. Do the things you loved to do together. Talk aloud like he is still there.Surround yourself with people you love, his family. It will hurt for a while, but it does get easier.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm sorry for your loss...I was in the same boat. Three months ago my play brother passed. What was even worse is he was murdered by someone who was supposed to be his friend. It fucced me up bad knowing that he got shot by someone we all knew...All i can tell you is your freind knows you love him and miss him. You just have to think about the good times you shared, not about his death. Remembering when you guys went on an outing together and laughed about that girl who did something stupid is what you should think about seeing his smile and hearing his laughter inside of you. You must come to the realization that there was nothing you could've did to prevent that and learn to let it in and accept it. Sometimes it helps to cry for days but cry out of the happy times you two shared not out of the thought of him being gone. I really wish you the best and just know that wherever you are he's watching over you keeping you close to his heart like you are to his. good luck

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    that friend of yours is at peace just think he no longer has to worry about clothes and how he looks and hes free he can just go where he wants and be still he can watch you all and hes ok. that is what death is and rejoice with him for hes at peace now. You should be happy hes now away from all the clutter and life issues. he is fine and you will be fine you have ot remember him at happy times and just remembering brings him alive and well. you have to rmember that it was his turn adn he was called and hes waiting for you when its your time to leave the earth. we'll all be together soon. You were part of his short life and now you have a chance to also make a difference and so do it for him and not cry as hes not crying and i can see hes not worried for hismelf but you give him peace and move on.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    awww well 1st of all i am verrrrrry sorry..and actually one of my best friends evveerr died 7 months ago from AIDS she was my best friend..we were like sisters also..we would tell eaother evrything..and do evrything 2gether....and when i lost her it was very hard..and it is 4 u..i was pretty much in your sam sittuation..and what i did to get my mind off it was..just to go outside..and get out of the side environment..if you are sitting in your house all day being sad..there is nothing you can do in the environment that is good...so go out side..take a walk...go out to dinner..and sometimes...doing things that you did 2gether is good after u get over the initian pain..like read some of the books he liked..and it will bring back good memories..and help you to realize that they are gone..another thing is to spend time with close family adn friends..and try to have a good time..here is my email if u want to talk more

    gigibennett@hotmail.com

  • 4 years ago

    i'm so sorry on your loss. there is not any consumer-friendly thank you to handle someones loss of existence. The discomfort lessens notwithstanding it fairly is often there. final week replaced into 5 yrs that my husband gave up the ghost and it felt like the day ahead of this. i know how acquaintances could properly be. I understand thoroughly. it rather is common and you're actually not likely loopy. they have grief communities that could desire to help on the grounds which you would be with different people who've lost somebody. good success and that i'll choose so you might have the strengh to get you thru this. you won't be ready to sense accountable approximately your brothers loss of existence. It wasn't your fault. you are able to desire to understand that there wasn't something you're turning out to be performed to maintain him. the only individual who could desire to try this replaced into your brother. i'm hoping issues paintings out for you and perchance it fairly is time something of the kin provides help.

  • 1 decade ago

    grief is your body's way of coping with loss. give yourself time. let yourself feel these feelings and don't try to push it away or make it go faster than it should. you may experience denial, depression, and anger. these are all okay. you might also consider talking to a counselor about your feelings to help the process along. eventually you will get to place where you can accept what has happened and begin to see the positive in things.

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