Recently engaged. Concerns in the bedroom...?

I've never been very big on sex because I was abused as a child. Now, as an adult I find it enjoyable but I never climax. I have, but only when I'm alone. Any suggestions for sharing this wth my hubby-to be as well as advice on how I can climax with him?

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  • 1 decade ago
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    I am not a doctor , but this sounds like something that can be solved. Because of your abuse when a child, this very well might be why you cannot climax. Talk to your husband to be---learn to talk to each other now---both of you can talk to a doctor/sex counselor about how you can have the best sex life.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you are close enough to wed, you better be close enough to talk. I would let him know about your past. Share with him your concerns. Also realize that a woman has an orgasm not with penis in vagina thrusting but with clitoral stimulation. If you want to have a climax with him, you both need to know this fact. There are plenty of ways that you or he can stimulate your clitoris while making love. If you are open and honest about your needs, they will be more likely to be met.

    Source(s): Follow the link below to this web site. There you will find a lot of great information about sex that you two can read and discuss together. Good luck and enjoy! http://www.talksexwithsue.com/
  • 1 decade ago

    You may just need to get more comfortable with him. I have been with women who told me I can only climax a certain way, and it just took time. Have an open mind.

    Just tell him not to worry and even when you do not climax you are enjoying sex.

  • 1 decade ago

    Girl get some books

    for both of you, their are reasons so talk to each other

    discuss what you do for yourself that give you a climax and maybe he can try to see if it will work when you two are making Love

    Good luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    this is something you two will get to explore and make better together. Alot of women dont climax while having actual sex. But when he performs oral that will help. You master bating in front of him. Go to the store and by some toys. and enjoy!

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, for starters you two are getting married - becoming husband and wife. You don't keep things from one another. One of the most important elements of a marriage is open communication. You tell each other EVERYTHING. Let him know what's bothering you. This is something the two of you can work on together. You don't want to make your hsuband think that he's not good in bed. He needs to know what's worrying you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i know it's going to be hard but you have to try to put what happen to you in the past and allow your self to be happy and to share your self completely with your fiancee, when you learn to let go of your fears you will be able to reach your climax and feel like you should feel when your have sex with some one you love

  • 1 decade ago

    Have you ever sought counseling regarding the past abuse? I would first take care of that and talk to your therapist about how to talk to your husband -to -be about this. It is a horrible thing to keep a secret, take the steps neccessary to help you deal with it. It would be a shame to allow this to ruin your happiness. Good Luck to you!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hey.I went throught the same thing.I would love to tell you it gets easier but for some reason it seems to get harder before it gets easier.I really think you need to talk to him and explain what is going on with you.Make sure he knows it's not him but maybe you can show him how to do it.Because you said you had no problem doing it your self.Godd luck Hun

  • 1 decade ago

    Talk to him about what happened to you as a child & express your feelings on making love to him. This is the only means to the end that you are seeking; dialogue will help him understand and assist him in helping you.

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