Problem with mother...?
I am a christian girl. A virgin, good girl. My brothers are against it, and are on a different road. My mother is in a bubble.
If i get mad or get angry, she tells me"THATS NOT CHRISTIAN...and im punished." but if my brothers do it, she dont do anything. I tell her they do it, but if i do she punishes me, and she goes"STOP POINTING FINGERS" but my brothers point fingers at me and she accepts it. and sits and makes fun of too:(
I cant deal with it at all! If i make mistake as a christian, she puts me down.:(
I dont know what to do...she thinks shes 2 perfect, but she curses 2....and gets angry.
I cant win with her, i try to fight back, she just goes.."U blah blah" and stuff.
What should i do, Christians answer.
Its tearing me apart.
- MusicManLv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
This is a very difficult problem. We are bonded to our families in ways that we can never be bonded anyone else. Blood is truly thickere thicker than water.
I don't have all the answers, but I hope I can help u explore some ways of thinking about this problem. U r a very intelligent and good person. Some of ur thoughts have really helped me.
Parents and ESPECIALLY mothers almost always love all their children. It hurts them when brothers and sisters don't get along. Could she maybe be blaming u because u don't get along with ur brothers?
Also there seems to be in us a natural expectation to have perfect parents. Ur mom has probably been a good source of support and help when u were young. I think ur mom loves u, but may have some unrealistic expectations of u. People often expect Christians to be perfect. We are working on perfection with God's help, but will never achieve it in this life. We all have flaws. It is much easier for most of us to see flaws in others than in ourselves. We benefit much from working on our own flaws.
When we are pointing out someone elses flaws, we must be certain that we are doing this out of love.
The Bible does tell us to honor our mother and father. We should always show our parents love and respect. And we must obey them in all things that are good and not sinful.
This does not mean that we have to passively accept even a parents bad behavior toward us. But remember it is ur reaction to her bad behavior that u will concentrate on.
I pray that u can draw closer to each other and through each other grow closer to God.
I really like the suggestion to pray. And it would probably be helpful to calmly talk to ur mother in love. Let her know that u love her and tel her that when she makes fun of you and that it really hurts u.
If u loose ur temper or inappropriately express anger, it might be good to apologize for that, but I don't think u need to apologize for how u feel.
Hang in there! And stay cool!
God Bless, I will be praying for u.
- hoff_momLv 41 decade ago
Well, don't point fingers; that will just confirm what they already believe: that you have a "holier than thou" attitude. Be humble, and realize that you are fortunate that you met God before you had the opportunity to really mess up your life, and that doesn't make you better than your mom or brothers, just more fortunate, for now. And remember the proverb: "Pride goeth before a fall." Just about the time you think you're above some sin or temptation, it is liable to trip you up. So be careful about thinking you're above it all.
I know it's hard, but the best thing you could possibly do is NOT fight back. Nobody will think they're the perfect ones- I don't care what they say- if during a disagreement you smile and say quietly and respectfully, "I'm sorry I don't see it that way" while they're screaming and cursing at you.
I'm guessing your mom feels convicted by your relationship with God, and that's the reason she sides with your brothers; to them, it's "you against them." It's a really immature attitude for your mom to have, but if I were to place a bet, I would guess there's probably even more to it than you will ever know. It may be that she was made to feel inferior at some time in her life, and it's a sore spot with her. It may even be some kind of chemical imbalance in her brain, such as a mood or personality disorder. In your position, there's not much you can do about it except to pray for her, handle each situation in the best way you can, and strive to be Christlike in the way you deal with her and your brothers. Let God be the judge; your job is just to pray for them and live for Christ. If they're not saved, you can't expect them to behave any other way; they need the Lord first, and you'll only drive them farther away if you come off as preachy. I know that's not what you want. Blessings!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I am sorry that you have to go through this with your mother, I had a similar experience growing up. My mom always expected 200% of me , when Jesus is the only one that can be 100% .
Just pray for her and try your best to honor her , even though she is wrong, because for you doing that God will honor you and He will cause your mother to see her wrong doing.
If you understand spiritual things, then you know that you cannot fight flesh with flesh, you will loose every time.
Fight it in the Spirit by praying and soon you will see a change. If you are mean and rude to your mother ,when God says honor your mother and father , then you will not have God on your side.
God bless you.......Source(s): If you want to , you can email me and I might be able to help you .
- DulosLv 41 decade ago
Come live with me honey. (jk). Complaining to her doesn't help. Chances are she sees their behavior and is heart broken that her sons are not following Christ, and maybe it hurts each time you point it out. The most important thing is the relationship with you and Christ. Pray for Mom and your brothers. Chances are your brothers are 'lost' and do not know Christ and that's why they behave the way they do. (Saying a prayer doesn't mean they're Christians). Rather than feel it's a competition to be right in Mom's eyes, try to win them to Christ by your behavior. Stop trying 'to win' and you won't get aggrivated. God sees and knows and cares. *Big Hug* Keep pressing toward the mark and hang in there.
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- tanja_berengueLv 41 decade ago
ya know, i used to have this problem. i used to be a total christian. a total jesus freak. not anymore, but thats not the point. my parents crapped on me every day. if i didn't do absolutly perfect i was somehow disrespecting god, even though they didn't believe in christianity.
theres really two answers. one is passive (just ignore it and accept that this is how you're going to be treated) and the other is to fight back. if they're going to throw the bible in your face, throw it right back in theirs. there are countless things you can twist to throw back at them. for example, if they use the statement "thats not christian" throw back "have you read the full bible? if you aren't a christian then you can't judge what is or is not a christian." or "how can you define what is or isn't christian? i didn't see you in church last sunday."
it can get agressive but it gets the point across.
- Freddy FLv 41 decade ago
Your mother is responsible for you and discharges her parental duty as best she knows how.
How about a little compassion for her. Being a parent is not easy in any age, but hardest right now with so much temptation out there calculated to trip you or even destroy you.
It seems very unfair on girls but take heart, someday you will be independent and responsible to no one but to yourself.
- 1 decade ago
Where is your father in all of this? He should be teaching all of you to be nice to one another. If your mother wants you to do as she says not as she does, then she does care about you. and she lovs you she cannot do anything about who she is, but she wants you to be a good girl until the right person comes along for you. so continue to be a good girl and talk to your earthly father and your heavenly father and HE will guide you in your footsteps. Remember the Serenity Prayer and Footprints in the Sand and you should be okay. Okay? Okay! Good Luck and Godspeed.
- LDS~Tenshi~Lv 51 decade ago
You are not out of your parents house yet...so until you are, honor them by accepting the situation in a calm humble matter...knowing that it won't last forever. Be true to your beliefs...and don't allow other people to push your button. Also, pray for her.
- Ice QueenLv 41 decade ago
Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do. Bite your tongue and wait until you are 18 and move out. The best Christian thing you can do is forgive them for their faults and stick to your own principles and wait it out.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You do what God says to do, honor your mother that it may be well with you and that your days may be long upon the earth.
Look up the word honor and go do it for God.