On the first night, Grandad is settling in when a gorgeous nurse enters and tucks him in. Grandad gets an erection, she sees this and climbs aboard.
The next morning Grandad calls his son and tells him he's changed his mind. Now he likes the retirement home.
The next night Grandad is heading for bed when he trips and falls face first on the floor. A big male orderly sees him, drops his pants and has Grandad right there and then.
The next morning, Grandad calls his son and tells him he no longer likes the retirement home.
"But yesterday you told me you loved it there...." says the son.
"Yes, but you don't understand. I only get an erection once a month, but I fall down nearly every day!"