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rusalka asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

How do you deal with Guilt trips?

my sister always makes people feel guilty e.g if they dont do things for her,spend time with her,or help her with something.As the little sister this is pretty ingrained,but it is now driving me mental.I say no then I feel guilty.

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  • Iris
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Lol... I am an expert in this, I've got a lifetime of experience with it!

    You deal with guilt trips by NOT indulging them. Guilt trips are a manipulation. She wants to make you feel guilty so that you either do what she wants, or punish yourself for not doing it by feeling guilty. When someone is trying to manipulate you, you deal with it by NOT playing their game. They get their payoff when the manipulation works; So, don't let it affect you.

    For example... if your sister wants you to take her to the movies, but you need to study and say no, and then she tries to put a guilt trip on you... Instead of listening to her go on and on and apologizing, simply say "sis, I'd love to take you to the movies but I can't right now. Needing to study is something you ought to understand." If she gets offended and goes off on something like, how bad of a sister you are, simply say something like "That's not true at all. I love you very much and do my best to be a good sister to you. But right now, I have an obligation I need to fulfill, and it's totally reasonable to do so." Obviously choose your own words, etc. But after you've said your piece once, in a logical and calm way, simply refuse to continue discussing it. Go on about your business. Go in your room and do your homework. Walk out of the room if you need to. But don't indulge her.

    Keep in mind she's not gonna be happy when you do this. But you've gotta start drawing some boundary lines or she'll be walking all over you for the rest of your life! And in reality, you're doing what's best for her, too, when you draw boundary lines. It is not best for her to think that she can walk all over everyone else and manipulate their feelings. It's much healthier for her to realize that she needs to respect other people's space just like she wants her own boundaries respected.

    Anyway, hope this helps!

    Source(s): The book "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend also, tons of experience!
  • 1 decade ago

    I think guilt is a very normal thing to feel. But do what you can when you can do it, but otherwise realize that you don't have to nor should you do everything for everyone all the time. You're only one person.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    She is a manupilator and people fall into her trap, and she knows it.She should feel guilty not you

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Pack well.

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