Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

Need some good jokes--to cheer me up!?

8 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a Bicycle?

    A bicycle doesn't scream when you chain it up.

    What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

    I don't know and I don't care.

    A women I know got rid of 180 pound of useless flab.

    She got a divorce.

    A boy at school said " I ain't got no pen" to his teacher.

    The teacher trying to correct him said

    " No Jimmy - I haven't got a pen,

    He hasn't got a pen,

    She hasn't got a pen,

    They haven't got a pen,

    We haven't got a pen,

    You haven't got a pen"

    Jimmy thought for a moment and said

    " Miss?

    Who has got all the f***ing pens then?"

  • 1 decade ago

    never mind the jokes if you wanna laugh your *** off get your hands on Robin Williams live at the met.Or chris Rock standup.

    Give me your email address i just got a good one sent to me or email me at butchdalton@yahoo.com

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There is a blonde who goes into a store and says "excuse me sir,can i buy that television?"The guy says "no,i don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home colours her hair red and goes back to the store. She says,"excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says,"i don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home,colours her hair pitch black and goes back. She says,"excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says," No I don't sell anything to blondes." She says,"how do u know i'm a blonde?" He says, "only a blonde would think a microwave is a T.V"

  • 1 decade ago

    well i dont have a joke but i have a riddle

    ok here it goes

    "On a bright and sunny night,

    two dead boys got up to fight,

    back to back they faced eachother,

    pulled out their sords and shot eachother,

    when the deaf policeman heard the noise,

    he took out his gun and stabbed the two dead boys,

    if you dont believe my lie is true,

    just ask the blind man,

    he saw it too.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    How did Helen Keller brake both arms?

    She tried to read roadsigns at 40mph

  • 1 decade ago

    Where does the king keep his armies? In his sleevies!

    What's pink and gets smaller and smaller every day? Someone who brushes their hair with a potato peeler.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Two pies were in an oven. One said to the other, "Man! It's hot in here!" then the other one exclaimed "Oh my god! A talking pie!"

    Source(s): My charming sense of humor :)
  • 1 decade ago

    what is a tree's favorite fruit? pine-apple!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.