Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingToddler & Preschooler · 1 decade ago

whats a good punishment?

timeout is not enough today! my little sister (4) spit out this orange medicine on to our white carpet that she knows shes not allowed to even drink juice on. then she threw a book that was a little bit thicker than an inch at me while i was on the computer. i didn't know what to do so i put her in time out. i had to take her out for her bath and when i did she slapped on the face. what punishment can i do?

Update:

o no she slapped me on the face not the other way around. if i were to spank her i'd get in trouble and my parents would ignore everything she did. and the medicine is like vitamins she's not sick :-)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    THERE IS NO SUCH BEAST AS A GOOD PUNISHMENT.

    HELP!

    Is almost everyone here crazy?

    Don't hit people.

    You don't teach "not to" do anything by doing it.

    You and your sister both need love and attention. Your sister is crying out for it at home, and you're asking here. Only love works, listening, love, attention, caring, time together, attention, love, caring.....

    Punishment does not work. As you saw, it only escalated the whole thing. Children aren't adults; they need to LEARN love and compassion by being SHOWN love and compassion.

    I so wish you had help with this.

    You need to sit and say to her, when you and she are doing fine, that you hate being in a position of authority over her, that you love her and never want to hurt her in any way at all, that you wish that the both of you could always get along, that you hope the next time that she feels angry or neglected that she'll come to you and Talk about it, just as you're both doing so nicely right now.

    EMPHASIZE the GOOD.

    IGNORE the BAD.

    If her good behavior gets enough attention and emphasis, then there'll be no need for the bad.

    Let me repeat that:

    If her GOOD BEHAVIOR gets ENOUGH ATTENTION and EMPHASIS, then there'll be no NEED for the BAD.

    Children want love, and if behaving gets love, they'll behave; second to that they want attention, and if they don't get it, they'll behave in a way that gets it.

    BE CERTAIN TO LET her KNOW THAT GOOD BEHAVIOR GETS ATTENTION and BAD BEHAVIOR gets IGNORED, and not by yelling like these caps--sorry, but sometimes people only scan long answers--but kindly, in a good moment.

    Orange medicine scene: (Her name) "Angela, you must be very angry to have thrown this medicine here. You know how upset it will make Mommy and Daddy. What's going on, Honey? You seem so angry and upset. How can I help you? What can we do about this?"

    Some LOVE and TIME and ATTENTION will FIX things.

    I promise. I know. Hate begets hate. Anger begets anger.

    Give her the best of you; expect the best of her, and it will appear; expect the worst, and you are creating it.

    Do you read her books? Do you guys sing together? Do your parents? Does anyone draw pictures with her?

    Are you both getting the attention you need?

    Ask for it. Find good, solid attention; create it for yourself and for her.

    With love

    Source(s): 1. rearing my siblings 2. 4 children 3. 6 grandchildren
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I dont know thats a tough one. One thing is though is that she is 4 means she probally wasnt thinking about the carpet when she spit, she probally just that the medicine tasted really horrible. If somebody forced something horrible in your mouth you would probally spit it out too, espceially if you didnt know what it was. One good suggestion thou is no food or drinks or medicine should be given to a four year old outside the kitchen. You should make that a rule no food or drink outside the kitchen or crayns and marker etc. Anyways you are not the parent, let your parents, its not your rug or your child just your sister. Your parents are the ones who should be bathing her or giving her medicines. Stay away from your sister if she slaps you because you can do that because you are her sister not her Mommy.

  • 1 decade ago

    You should let your parents step in. It is not your place to discipline your little sister. You are not the parent. If anything you should supporting her, teaching her new things, and helping her out if she gets into trouble.

    Who cares if your sister stained the rug? That is what children under the age of 18 do. Instead of chastising her just clean it up.

    My goodness, you should be creating memories with this child. Maybe if you spent a little bit of good time with her as her big sister she would not be acting out. And that is exactly what she is doing. She wants your attention be it good or negative. Why do you think she threw a book at you while you were on the computer? That just screams, "LOOK AT ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"

    You get to do all the cool stuff she can't. You play on the computer, go out with your friends, go to school, talk on othe phone, and she wants to be a part of it and instead you treat her like she is less than you by attempting to discipline her.

    Do yourself a favor. Take her to the park, or take her to the movies. Who care if you might be rewarding her for screwing up? Tell her point blank, "I want to have fun with my baby sister."

    (You are talking to a baby sis by the way.)

    If her attitude doesn't change when yours does, then it might be time for padded walls.

  • 1 decade ago

    what the Heck are you doing giving a child ANYTHING on a white carpet???? Medicine is for the kitchen or BATHROOM, not a white carpet... she tossed a book at you while you were on the computer huh? Well why not pay her some ATTENTION? did you ever think maybe she is BORED and wants to PLAY or maybe have her sister or MOM take her out to PLAY with her...? You can't just feed a 4 year old breakfast and then not interact with her all day long... they need attention and OUTSIDE PLAY---get off the computer and take the poor kid OUTSIDE.... also why are YOU the bather, medicine giver, punisher? Where the heck are your PARENTS??????? You and your parents ALL need to be consistent with this child---if she is put in TIME OUT, make sure she STAYS in TIME OUT---don't remove her for a bath or anything else---she will NEVER learn to behave if the discipline isn't consistent---and your parents should take a MORE ACTIVE ROLL AS WELL....teaching her not to hit, teacher her to behave better --NOT ONLY FOR YOU BUT FOR THEM AND YOUR SISTER AS WELL......

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  • Joy
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You are not her parent and shouldn't be spanking her. But you are another human being and she needs to know that hitting you is not acceptable behavior. When she hits you you need to grab her hand as quickly as possible and put it down away from your face and look her straight in the eye and with your sternest voice say, "No, that hurts." You are not going to allow her to hit you. A time out on her bed on on a special car is appropriate and could be even longer if she gets up and out of the chair. Take privildges away and toys. If her behavior continues to escalate, I would advise your parents to talk to her doctor.

  • 1 decade ago

    she wants some attention.... give it to her... if you are in charge you shouldnt be on the computer. you should be playing with her. tell her that you can play for an hour but then she has to let you watch tv or something. you have to keep a 4 year old busy. you need to feed her energy you cant put her in timeout and then expect her to be good when she gets out. it only builds up more when she is still!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Do your best to stay calm. Talk to her calmly and tell her it is not okay to ....... then tell your parents as soon as you can. Discuss with them what they want you to do in the future when she acts out. When a child is in time out it is best not to let them up for anything. The bath could have waited. I only let my children out for the bathroom and then they go right back in and the time starts where they left off. Throwing the book at you could mean she wanted your attention. If you are babysitting, you should be watching her not on the computer.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am very uncertain about the use of physical pain, especially if it is not accompanied with communication or consideration for the facts for the purpose of proper social conduct, or restrain ones self from improper or antisocial conduct, but there are only two general forces for behavior action formation, and that is pain and pleasure. My favorite expression for this is 'The Will is positive, the Judgment is negative'.

    Your sister is four years old? Stage three, the becoming for the purpose concept, doing things have purpose. Ask, 'what was the purpose for doing that, what good do you know. If you know any good, then do that. Doing bad has no purpose. Do you know what 'purpose' means, it mean to have good reason for doing something. What you did, did bad for me.' I can see it is not easy talking to a four year old. Explain you are trying to do good and she may do something at the same time. She does not like feeling the 'me doing nothing' experience and feels for that inadequacy. She needs ideas that she may act on at will and reason for doing them. These reasons must come from an outside source as she is just starting to realize the purpose concept, but of course she has yet to identify its essence and source, total and complete human essence. Some people don't even achieve that through their whole life time. Study the notes below and that may help you to know why.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erick_Erickson

    Stage One Oral-Sensory: from birth to one, trust vs. mistrust, feeding;

    Stage Two Muscular-Anal: 1-3 years, autonomy vs. doubt, toilet training;

    Stage Three Locomotor: 3-6 years, initiative vs. inadequacy, independence;

    Stage Four Latency: 6-12 years, industry vs. inferiority, school;

    Stage Five Adolescence: 12-18 years, identity vs. confusion, peer relationships;

    Stage Six Young Adulthood: 18-40 years, intimacy vs. isolation, love relationships;

    Stage Seven Middle Adulthood: 40-65 years, generativity vs. stagnation, parenting;

    Stage Eight Maturity: 65 years until death, integrity vs. despair, acceptance of one's life.

    The Erikson life-stage virtues, in the order of the stages in which they may be acquired, are:

    hope

    will

    purpose

    competence

    fidelity

    love (in intimate relationships, work and family)

    caring

    wisdom

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well i have kids so i can tell u try spending time with her like reading books playing games or even let her sit on u while u r on the computer and show her how it works watch and c she would not be there for to long she just want to get your attention so bear with her.when u r taking her for a bath make it a fun time .

  • Tony
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Don't give her what she wants. Anything she usually asks for like TV etc, no privileges. But you remain the sweet talking (won't get upset) big sister. Tell her you are going to let your parents know what she did and follow through with it. Hopefully your parents will take it from there. If she doesn't get away with that behavior she won't continue it. Good luck!!

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