Please help. Is there any way that my friend and her mother, with an alcoholic and abusive stepdad be helped?
Rather than explaining this myself, let me paste how she explains the situation:
"In the morning he always has a hangover.
Also, to clear up some things, I am not being abused.
It is my mother.
Also, most of the abuse is emotional and mental.
I am being emotionally and mentally abused.
Having to deal with all the fighting is difficult.
One time, I worked hard to make this really nice painting in art class.
Then one night, he got mad, and the next morning the painting was gone.
My mom was very pissed because she knew how hard I worked on it.
When she asked him if he did it, he completely ignored her.
My mom told me never to tell the guidance counselor or my friends. She thought my friends wouldn't want to come over anymore if they knew.
If the guidance conselour was spoken to, they would call the police and I would be taken away.
My mom told me that she wants him to die.
But if we leave, we have no where to live."
Please help me. How can I get help for her?
"Another dilemma is that we can't just leave him and stay at a shelter, with people we don't know. It will be difficult to adjust. We will be poorer, and I don't think my mom can support us.
Also, we have no proof he is abusing my mom, except for the police reports.
For instance, one time they were fighting, so my mother ran up to my room. He followed her, and his steps shook the house. He got to my room, started yelling, and slapped her across the face, right in front of me. She let out a cry in pain, and he went down stairs. Her voice shook, and she told me to call the police. I was crying and shaking. We called the police and they came. They didn't take him away."
About a month or two ago, my mom called social services, and asked what would happen if she put an order against him. They said that if she did, if he ever abused her, he would bbe put in jail. My mom was afraid that if he found out, he would hurt her and destroy the house. Also, he would probably be fired from his job. She was afraid of the consequences, so she didn't do it.
He knows he's an alcoholic. He knows my mom goes to meetings for people with alcoholic people in their family. He doesn't go. He knows he has a problem. But he doesn't care."
"My mom has to sleep in my room almost every night. I always ask her, "Are you sleeping in my room tonight?" And she says, "Well, he's drunk. I don't want to sleep next to a drunk."
I remember one night he brought home hard liquor. My mom freaked out. We stayed at a hotel. We've stayed in hotels many times."
Sorry. I'm just posting little important snips.
- starrrrgazerLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
She should go into the children's service's office and ask to be placed in foster care. If she's willing to go to that extreme, it's highly unlikely that she would not be placed in foster care. Other than that, continue to tell doctors, school staff members, parents, police, etc until someone does something. The girl needs to not be being the parent. An adult needs to take responsibility.
- Be meLv 51 decade ago
I think she and her mother should start attending Alcoholics Anonymous classes. There are several that are for friends and family members of alcholics. That way, they can share their story with others in similar situations and gain strength and support. She and her mother can make it on their own if they try. It may be a little rough for a while, but things will get better. They will be better off in the long run.
- 4 years ago
i'm sorry you grew up in such an ecosystem i'm hoping it does not carry over to any good dating you have got with different contributors of your loved ones, acquaintances or skill adult males on your life yet that aside you mom is an alcoholic I even have take a seat enable her understand that her way of life is unacceptable to you and her new husband is likewise unacceptable ( tell her why ) and except she seeks help in application ( AA ) you basically isn't seeing her to her anymore ( that area is substantial ), which you heavily isn't social along with her except he seek for the comparable plus some sort of anger administration and then forgives himself ( confident, i mentioned himself ) then you definately for all his transgressions against you and on that one is concrete she could get dissatisfied at you ( that's to be predicted ), yet in all of this you're able to desire to be calm, assertive ( yet no longer argumentative ) and particularly civil as on your grandmothers birthday, in case you anticipate conflict do no longer pass, keep in mind a birthday is basically as quickly as, something are anniversaries, so make a distinctive time once you may locate your grandmother on my own and make it a definite time along with her, she would be able to delight in that she could ask why you probably did no longer come, tell he the reality ( do no longer pass into info, basically say you don't get alongside with mom and step dad ), grandmothers are wiser than you think of, so there's no element in mendacity to them Godbless and Goodluck
- RXLv 51 decade ago
You have to call social services on them.They sound like excuse after excuse.The only thing will help them if they hit rock bottom
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- 1 decade ago
Men like him cannot be cured or helped so tell her to leave his sorry ***. I wish there was a way out but there isnt.
- 1 decade ago
I think your mother and father should go to marriage counseling or just get divorced
- Anonymous1 decade ago