promotion image of download ymail app

Asperger's syndrome?

My son has Asperger's Syndrome, he has just turned 5 years old. I am certain that his lunchtime supervisers strongly don't like him. They put him outside the head masters office for refusing to play with the other children, mixing with others is very difficult for him. They also shout at him for not looking at them when they are talking to him, this is difficult for him also.

Most lunch times they single him out and stand him with his face against the wall. My 7 year old daughter and 10 year old niece have told me this.

Today for instance his usuual class teacher was absent and my son's behaviour deteriated due to the change. He kicked and bit another child (which I know is not acceptable). This child was teasing and crowding him, which is no excuse for his behaviour either.

For this he had to sit the whole day and I mean the whole day outside the headmasters office. Two other children were told to take him there which made a spectable of him.


After todays behaviour the headmaster put a strip on his tongue telling him that it woukld turn grren if he lied, this really upset my son. Now they are talking of expelling him. I am unsure wether to change schools as the change will upset him further and all his cousions and sisters go there. Is there anywhere that I can complain about the school, which won't come back on my son.

Sorry for the long post but this is really upsetting me.

Update 2:

Thanks Alex but my son was assessed by the educational psycholgist and deemed not suitable for a special school as he is very intelligent.

26 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Im so ANGRY how dare they treat this little boy with such appalling behaviour, firstly no child should be stood facing a wall, this was stopped by good schools some time ago, as for the dinner ladies (Hitlers) they need to be trained how to support your little boy not bully him, i wonder how they would feel if it was one of their grandsons.

    Please contact an Aspergers Syndrome help line and contact SENAP's for help with dealing with these cruel people. I wish your son luck and love. x

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Hun, your post has got me so angry, the way some of the staff including the head are nothing short of mentally abusing your child, I have 2 sons one of 20 & the other 13, both with Aspergers Syndrome, I am still battling Camerons school to get him back in full time, I have some brilliant info if you need it, mail me & I will give you some addys that I found really helpfull also I am a member of a support group that is excellent. At the end of the day it isn't your sons or your fault he is AS. a chemical imbalance in the brain that is treatable not curable, they suffer poor social skills (so why the hell isollate them??) have no eye to eye contact, poor co-ordinating skills, normally above their age intelligence, most have ocd (mobile phones at the mo!!) they are single minded & need routine or become panicky, abusive, disruptive ect.. all I can say hun is put your foot down & demand senco worker or seek legal advice as to what help / support you can get, Good luck to you hun.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Additional Details:

    ... the headmaster put a strip on his tongue telling him that it would turn green if he lied, this really upset my son. Now they are talking of expelling him.

    SERIOUSLY: Sue the school and get the headmaster struck off. That is child abuse. They aren't allowed to touch a child, let alone insert foreign objects into their mouths*

    *(Possibly chemically treated - I suspect they actually used litmus paper)

    If you can get witnesses, do so and take them to the cleaners.

    (Edit: You have to remember that Aspergers children almost never lie. If he said it happened, it happened. Something to do with the wiring stops them lying.

    That said at time their version/understanding of the truth can require a leap of faith to grasp!

    (Real example:

    Me: "Get your feet of the couch!"

    Ryan (angry): "They aren't on the couch, stop picking on me!"

    Impossibly, it seems, both conditions were true...

    But, to him, his feet weren't on the settee, they were on the cushion and /that/ was on the settee. *twitch*


    Hardly responsible but it if was my son I'd have "had words" with the headmaster, largely involving nailing the ****** to the wall and explaining in no uncertain terms that I am NOT happy.

    As it happens my own son is also high-functioning autism. It was just Asperger's until a brain damage after a RTA exasperated his condition. Took 8 years and a lot of arguing to get him statemented. Now he's in main-stream school with a mentor for 15 hours a week and exempt from certain things - like games.

    I remember in his last school they forced him to do PE in his underwear because they 'couldn't find his shorts' The fact we live literally across the road from the school and could have been there in a minute didn't occur to them - though it did occur everytime they wanted something from us. As it happened the shorts were in his bag - they just didn't look.

    Funnily enough, I hit the roof and after getting rather 'in your face' with the headmistress and threatening legal action and promising to involve several local authorities for this child abuse, well there were no more incidents like that.

    Angry parents is one thing, getting dragged through the mud in the local press and having the LHA and education chiefs asking awkward questions, while fending off lawyers has an amazing ability to focus a schools attention on autism.

    Been there, done that and won't take **** like that from any school.

    Seriously, don't take this from them, start legal action and get the papers involved, see Citizens Advice . As for threatening to expel him, they have done you a favour - especially if it's in writing. As well as child abuse they are also guilty under various disability law.

    What can I say I have loads of issues myself and really can't be doing with idiots like that.


    Special schools aren't always the best answer, and sometime they are the very worst answer. (My niece went to one and I won't repeat the horror stories).

    Also, moving schools isn't the right way either. You have to make that school see the error of their ways so the same abuse doesn't happen to every other autistic (spectrum) child they encounter. You have to put the (legal) fear of God into the b'ds and make them understand, crystal clear, that their actions and/or inactions have consequences and you will move mountains to make an example of them if they don't toe the line.

    Source(s): Been there, done that and wiped the floor with the buggers! Parent of an autistic child: See also Disability Rights: Local Education Authority
    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    I just imagined myself screaming in a headmaster's office..... Advocate for your child. Ask anything else you need to know. People at yahoo answers will reply. then check out for your son's rights and yours. dont be scared to speak up. I'm not a psychologist... but i do alot of related work. I'm a psychology student.

    The way the staff of the school interacted with you and your son is unethical and illegal. Are you from the states? You should file a lawsuit. If you're from Europe the laws are similar in most countries.

    Your child has all the right to to not interact with other students, not look at the teachers if he wants to. kicking another child.... these things happen. the punishment given to him was excessive

    Are they aware he has autism? even if they are not, it still doesn't justify the way they treated. the way the staff handled the situation is very inappropriate and potentially abusive. even if your child wasn't autistic

    Speak up. people in your community will help you. societies advocating for rights will be furious to hear this...

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    I am curious as to where you are writing from. I can tell you that if they are punishing/ disciplining your child for his disability related behavior (poor social skills and eye contact) that this is discrimination and illegal. It sounds as if the entire staff headmaster included need to attend a training about aspergers and increase their overall sensitivity and awareness about the disability. The problem these children face is their intelligence often masks their disability. Adults often assume because they are intellegint and are doing well academically in school their other behavior problems are willful and/ or intentional when this is not the case. The difficulties with eye contact and peer relationships is a hallmark symptom of aspergers and should be addressed through accomodations or modifications to his day. This modifications may include have pre-arranged structured play groups. or activities arranged for him with helpful peers. These could be things on the playground or in the classroom that center around his strenths and interests. Having difficulties with unstructured times is common for children on the spectrum. In the U.S. your child may not qualify for an IEP, but he would likely qualify for a 504 plan. Also special services are warranted whenever a behavior interfers with a child's learning that is a result of a disability. IF your child is spending an entire day in the office as a result of his playground behavior (which seems closely related to his disability), then this is interferring with his ability to learn at school since he is been excluded from school. I would demand accomodations or modifications as part of special services (IEP, 504 or principal monitored SST). You may need to hire an advocate or lawyer to make this happen.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    I am sorry about your sons problems that you have outlined,but no matter what, you have to report this because the bottom line is that it is abuse what they are putting your son through and whoever is doing this should be sacked.

    I work with adults with autism and i would certainly be sacked and PROSECUTED if i had done a fraction of what you are telling us.

    Please i implore you to do as i ask because in the long run your son will be damaged more if you do not.There is still too many people in authority who disregard people like your son in favour of the majoity and then they get labelled and discriminated against.Please do not let this happen.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 2n2222
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Yikes. Go in and talk to the headmaster and get a few answers: small kids _do_ make things up, and it's possible that other kids have fashioned a world of stories with your son as the central character.

    The story of the strip that turns green sounds like something a kid would make up. But if it was true, your kid clearly needs to be attending school somewhere else and whoever pulled that stunt needs a notation in their personnel file.

    The place sounds a bit tough for even a normal five-year-old.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    im so sorry to hear this. im a childminder and used to watch a child with aspergers but hewasnt as bad as your son sounds. what is happening is totally unacceptable, these children need to have continuity day to day. You needto get on to the head of education, youre not getting any joy with the headmaster go straight to the top. i know people that have went down this road and you do get results. Is home tutoring an option? I definately wouldnt be letting the matter lie and would be threatning to take legal action if they cant protect your son and ensure he is safe and feels comfortable at school. If your son was labelled autistic instead of aspergers which is a form of autism then you would get help left right and centre. Go to your doctor and have him back you up about the physchological effect this is having on your son. im sorry but i think you are going to have a fight on your hand about getting him into a special school but i definately think you have to go right to the top. the schools just arnt trained to deal with aspergers and as for the playground supervisors i would be right in there at break time hiding and waiting for them to start picking on him then theyd get a fright and a taste of their own medicine. sorry but they just make me so mad.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    You need to talk with all the adults involved and find out their side of the story. As a PP said sometimes kids do exagerate or make things up. If you dont already you need an IEP with a behavioral plan included on how to deal with these situations. Everyone who interacts with your son needs to know what behavior is typical for him and what isnt. My son is 4 and still doesnt look at people when he talks to them we have been working on this skill for a yr now.

    If any of this is factual and did happen the way its been told then you need to file complaints on everyone involved with your school, the speical ed dept, th superintendent. These things should never happen to any child.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • .
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I really feel for you. My 5 year old (he's 6 in a week or so) nephew also has aspergers and has the same problems. My sister-in-law is at her wits end with his school, but as they live in a rural area, they have not much choice in schools. Try printing out as much info you can find on the web and send it to the head-teacher. Since the government got rid of loads of special schools, parents of children with special needs have been having problems.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.