I'm an educated, successful gay 30-something: Is the using the "-*****" word in reference to ourselves OK?

I posed this question yesterday, but am wondering if there's anyone out there with a different take on it today...serious replies only, please.

25 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    i don't use it, and most the gay people i know don't use it. i think using the word, even if you are gay, sends a conflicting message to straight people.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    "-*****", in modern North American and Australian English usage, is a generally pejorative term for a gay or effeminate man. Its use has spread to varying extents elsewhere in the English-speaking world.

    One historical meaning of the word "-*****", "a bundle of sticks for burning", is not likely to have been a reference to homosexuals, since burning at the stake was never a punishment for homosexuality in England, making the connection of the two an urban legend.

    "I don't want anyone anyone to call me a "-*****"... I have name a name they can call me by it."

    Source(s): Wikipedia
  • 1 decade ago

    Well in my opinion I say yes and no. I agree that by us gay and lesbian ppl using the word we are saying that it is ok for straight ppl to use it a a hurtful way towards us. But at the same time I have been known to use the word in a playful way with some gay friends. But none of us are offended and we are usually not in public either. So there for I'm with you and kinda undecided.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm not gay or African-American . And as such would never, ever consider calling you a *ag or ******. Nor would I ever consider calling a black person n*****. However, I understand that among themselves, that's how they refer to each other sometimes. With that in mind, what's to say gay people in general couldn't refer to each other in that way. If you feel comfortable with the expression, what's to stop you?

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hmmm... Well, I'm not sure. It depends on how you use it. I would suppose that its okay, as long as you're trying to take possession of the word. The gay community did that with the word 'queer', didn't we?

    I once heard a black guy explain why it was that the black community could use the n-bomb and get away with it, but only under certain circumstances. It was them taking control of the word and making it their own by using it as a term of endearment. However, he would slap anyone--black or white--if they used it in a derogatory sense.

    I suppose I feel the same way about the f-word. I don't like it, and I personally hate using it... but if you're going to use it in a way that makes it funny or not-painful or hateful... I'm all for it. Change the meaning of it.

  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with the above answer, if you're ok with it, use it. Black people call themselves n*****s, but white people can't call them such. When a straight person uses the word ******, it has a more negative connotation. But groups can call themselves whatever they want to. Frankly, I think the ****** word is a tad demeaning or derogative, but it's up to you.

  • 1 decade ago

    I really don't prescribe to the "taking back words" theory. It is a hateful word and I don't think that it is ever appropriate to use in any situation, even if "we" are using it to describe ourselves. Same goes for the use of the "N" word by blacks or D**e by lesbians. I also don't care for the Q word either but that is just me.

  • 1 decade ago

    I definitely don't like to use that word in reference to myself or someone else. To me it implies that the name applies to a gay male that is very effeminite in both mannerism and dress. This conveys a bad impression about gays in general even most of them are not this way.

  • 1 decade ago

    before you say it to anyone EVER think about this: children repeat what they hear, if a child hears you say that and then says it to his friend and gets the crap kicked out of him, whose fault is that?

    IF anyone could be offended by it, then keep it to yourself.

    Even if children aren't involved, think of how you would feel if someone walked up and said "hey what's up, *ag?" if you don't know this person well, would you be offended?would someone else?

    These are hate words. They will never be "reclaimed" because you didn't invent them. they were created out of hate, and fear.

    My advice id NEVER EVER use them even if you are angry or drunk.

  • I say yeah because it's like your basically flipping a hate word and using it to describe other gay people like the same thing black did with that word n****.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    A bunch of us call each other fags all the time. We have banter with gay slurs fairly often. It's fun. It all depends on who's involved and if they're comfortable with it. We can reclaim the word.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.