bilbo b asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles ยท 1 decade ago

church bloopers?

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High".

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs... Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

10 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    There will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St Taffy's.

    There will be a bean supper in the basement Sunday night. Music will follow.

  • 3 years ago

    fantastic! And to %. a unmarried prominent.... too hard. permit me as a substitute, decide from a great decision and instruct you those that stood out for me. (and on an aside. i do in comparison to church homes. i've got self belief that my faith is between myself and God, and that i don't choose absolutely everyone else telling me the thank you to coach faith) "Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. on the 1st Presbyterian Church. Please use great double door on the area front" "do not permit challenge kill you -- permit the church help" "bear in mind in prayer the numerous that're ill of our church and community" "The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the start of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer" "Thursday evening--Potluck supper. Prayer and medicines to stick to" "The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and different products to be recycled. Proceeds would be used to cripple infants." "on the evening provider this evening, the sermon subject count would be "what's Hell?" Come early and hear our choir prepare." "women religious study would be held Thursday morning at 10. All women are invited to lunch in the Fellowship corridor after the B.S. is executed." "Irving Benson and Jessie Carter have been married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began of their college days."

  • 1 decade ago

    now thats funny 10/10 plus a star

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    very funny

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  • 1 decade ago

    excellent! what church do you go to? just kidding. lol

  • Kay
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    hee hee! I've always liked church bloopers.

    :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    lol that funny

  • 1 decade ago

    verrrrrrrrrrrryyyy interesting!!!

  • Gipper
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    good one!

  • Schumi
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    lmao..that's hilarious.

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