Guys, Dating & Kids?

I am a new mom {through adoption} and am surprised how much it has effected my dating life. I never get asked out now. I am not some model but I'm not unattractive either. Before I had my kids I dated off and on but I never had a time like this, {going on 3 years} without a single date. Any advice from any other single moms out there?


Gwen, you do not have a listed email {mine is}. Anyway the very idea that someone would have a child to trap someone is horrid. This is brining a person into the world, not a pet, or some toy. Far as being rescued I have never been the damsel in distress for anyone, least I hope no one sees me as such!

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Who said "start dating black guys"??? Y'all are mean females out here.

    I am sorry but guys are scared of kids. Thats the bottom line. Don't take it personal. You sound intelligent, you are probably attractive, but even Angelina Jolie, with all the children she adopted, would not have a huge date pool if she were back on the scene. It's not personal.

    I will just say really just have fun. Don't set the expectations to your dates that they are to raise your kid, and I would say don't throw it up in their face that you have a kid and it comes before anything (even though it is the case and that's the way it's supposed to go).

    You might also want to hit at men in the right place. Go where divorced men will go, and look for more mature men (30ish).

    Remember that if a couple divorce, both the man and woman are single parents, and usually men who are divorced with kid (like myself) are very fine with women with kids too(we come from there).

    As fo dating black guys, I am black, and I don't think we think differently. On the contrary, I am sorry but because of our testosterone, we don't even know if we are after you for love, or if you are just the hottest girl we have seen. Though, you having kids will not make a difference. Once again, I am not sure if race has an issue. However here's food for thought: there's plenty of single black mothers; if anything, black guys life expectancy is lower than any other race (diabetes, drive-by shootings...). Conclusion: we are used to single moms, and when I see a single mom, I feel like I'm in known territory and am just as much (or more) attracted to her. Our kids will play together while we are watching TV.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Don't say you're a mom... you'll get more attention.

    But showing that you are cuts the weed for you in advance. It scares away one-night standers, irrespondible guys and the ones scared of engagment. It allows you to see which guys feel more for you than just physical attraction.

    It can really boost the quality of your dating.

    But it does imply one thing : you have to proove yourself that you're a responsible partner, that your little treasure wasn't some accident or half-thought plan to force a man to remain with you.

    You have to understand that these days, men are entitled to beware of "accidents" caused by irresponsible women of women who trick their partners into fathering their child. Those are traps that will change/ruin their lives for the next 25 years! And it happened more than once, so guys are more than informed about the problem.

    But in your case, adoption prooves that you're a very independant, very mature, very strategic and accomplished person. It shows you have exceptionnal strenght of character.

    It is possible that by doing that, you've changed the dynamics of your dating routine and need to integrate those characteristics into your dating life. Perhaps that since you're a queen (mother) now and no longer a princess in need of rescue (girl), you're the one who should start hunting down your king.

    Because you don't need little knights in shining armor anymore. You need a Man. Someone who's mature and confident enough to stand up for himself and doesn't try princesses on like gloves and hopes that one will fit. But that means you'll have to conquer a kingdom or two.

    Good hunting!

  • 1 decade ago

    hang in thier im sure someone will come long

    its not the end of the world iv got three kids of my

    own and it not easy not having someone thier for you

    but it can be done and looks like your doing it so

    hang in thier he is out thier you,ll find hime and just keep

    your head up girl it will happen ....have a nice day

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Start dating black guys.

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