I need marital advice quick please?
My husband is emotionally distant lately. I am 5 months pregnant with our first child together. He has 3 by a ex g/f i have one by ex b/f neither of which are in the picture. When we got married all was well, he and I got along great all the kids got along great. I know the love is there, even now I tell him and he tells me. I have no idea why he suddenly became distant from me. I take on everything at home since hes the working one. i left him once b/c drugs, he quit doing it when we got bk together. Now hes "stressed out" and I cant figure out why. He used to talk to me about anything, now i ask questions and I get "dont know what your talking about". Now I have left him for the second time b/c he doesnt tell me whats on his mind so i can help him get through it. His kids call me mom and my kid calls him dad. How do I get him to open up to me?
- BertLv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
Hi! you need to stop running from him, how do excpect him to trust you, if you leave when the going gets rough, pray for him, give him his space, prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives....Jesus loves you
- sparrowLv 41 decade ago
Perhaps he is worried because of the new baby. It sounds like this is going to be the first time he will be a full time Dad, since you say the other children are "not in the picture". This is a big responsibility, and it may well be stressing him out a bit. Men are often reluctant to speak about their feelings, and do not understand that we need to hear what is going on in their minds. I understand you leaving him because of the drugs, but to leave him because he won't tell you what is on his mind is not the way to have a good marriage, and will just add to his stress. there are, more than likely, going to be many times during you marriage that you are going to go through some hard times, and having him think that every time he is stressed you are going to leave is not going to help your marriage at all. As difficult as it is going to be, you need to be supportive of him, show him that you love him, and that you are not going to leave every time the going gets tough.
- justaLv 71 decade ago
With four kids and one to come you really have to ask why hes stressed out? He knows hes got to support five kids .
Take it from this old married lady, you don't leave him when hes feeling distant and distracted, you stick with him and let him know you will be there when hes ready to talk.
Knowing you don't leave him will let him trust you, walking out makes him feel that he can't.
None of this goes if hes back on drugs, the only thing on an addicts brain is his next score.
- 1 decade ago
If you leave everytime something happens, you are never going to make it. There are going to be times when things aren't perect, that is reality, and you need to learn how to deal with it. He might be distant because you are childish and immature. He is the only working one, and yall have alot of kids between yall. you are having another one..he is probably worried. You should support him, instead of leaving everytime he acts some way you don't like. You are going to end up looses him, and screwing your kids minds up. I think that you really need to grow up.
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- cowgirlclubLv 41 decade ago
maybe he's feeling this way because of things from his past. he's got 3 kids that when their mother was pregnant they probably left him too. he may be worried that you are going to do the same thing. just be supportive of him and tell him that no matter what you are there for him and you want to be with him. tell him that you want to be a family with everyone and just tell him that when he's ready to open up to you that you will be there.
- TeenieLv 71 decade ago
There is nothing you can do about him opening up to you,that
is something he needs to do all by himself.Remember men don't think like we do,men run and hind from us they don't want us to bother them. If you persist in annoying him he
will find someone who will think he is the greatest thing sense
apple pie.If I were you I would be very careful,he will work it
out and when he does he will let you back in but for now give
him his space or let him go to his cave which ever way you
want to put it. "Good Luck "
- 1 decade ago
seek a professional counselor, or clergy.
don't worry many of us work on a sliding scale or free if need be, but you need to talk.Source(s): the School of "Hard Knocks" (and Harvard)