Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 1 decade ago

I want a baby with my ex.bf?Wrong?

I am in my first year starting my 2nd year this fall of college and i am 19 yrs old.I want a baby so badly i want to have someone to love and take care off.I am currently messing around or having a fling with my ex.bf who has a new gf because i am lonley and miss him.He was my first love and everything else.Is this really wrong i would never go after him for childsupport exc.?plus he is the one making the assumption i am on the pill so i never lied to him.I am still in love w/my ex.bf and want something to remeber him by? I am not sure why i feel this way ?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You're being selfish and wanting a child for all the wrong reasons.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hmm well, being that I'm going into my 3rd year of college and I'm pregnant with #2 I would say that's a bad idea. Don't get me wrong I love my son and I will love this child too and I'm still with the father but right now I'm 20 and I will turn 21 a couple months before this child is due and the closer I get to turning 21 the more I think about the other people I may meet when I leave the city I live in after college and I'm 21 and I can actually go out and do things, clube, etc. Not that I will neglect my kids or anything but I can't help but think there's probably someone out there that I would be much better off with and that finding that person will take starting all over where as if I had just waited to start with I could be out doing whatever I wanted and experiencing life.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think, just going by how you described your life/situation right now that you are just looking to fill a void that your ex left. I don't advise trying to get pregnant just to fill that void, having a baby just so you can have someone to love you & to have something to remember your ex by is kinda wrong. It would be alot better if you waited until you were out of college & could better handle a baby.

    And yes, babies love you unconditionally but they are very very hard work. How would you do college with a newborn that wakes up every 2 hours? You have to think of it frmo a financial standpoint too - can you afford diapers, clothes, a crip/bassinet, formula, car seat? Do you have a room for the baby to stay in? How would you balance school with taking care of a baby - would a family member babysit, or would you have to put him/er in daycare [which is pretty expensive]. Would your ex want to be in the baby's life - it's hard growing up without a father.

    I'm not trying to be mean but you really gotta think before taking a HUGE step like this.

    Maybe try talking to your ex & telling him your feelings towards him, maybe you can get back together with him without having a baby? I know the heartache you're describing & it hurts & it's hard but you need to either talk to your ex & see if you guys can work things out or just let him go & get on with your life. He might have seemed like your first love but there are many great guys out there, ones who will stick around, marry you & give you lots of babies if that's what you want.

    Good luck ♥

  • SERIOUS question....if he knew your plans and thoughts, would he HAPPILY agree to this at 19? You two are ex's for a reason...and the fact he is screwing around with you on his new girlfriend shows what type of man he is (you want that for your life, child and your future?). He is putting you both at risk for STDs, but do you really care because you are so in love with him? Why not tell him your feelings and tell him you're not on birth control and trying to keep a piece of him by bringing a LIFE into the world...but no worries, he won't have to pay child support.

    Think clearly. I was in your shoes a long time ago around your age...and I am GLAD nothing ever came from my "plans" because my life would not have been the same. Trapping someone to keep a part of them is a SELFISH and immature reason to create a child. This is a LIFE we are talking about, not a scrap book of pictures you can look at once in a while.

    I'm sorry if I was so blunt, but think this over SERIOUSLY and talk to your girlfriends about it....get some feedback there too....from people who know you and your ex. Wait and have your first baby with your husband...a man who stays by your side and loves you more than your ex ever will. You will not regret that, trust me. It only gets better from here once you move on....

    Source(s): life experience
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    oh sweetie!! I dont know how to answer you without sounding mean. But you arent thinking straight! It is pretty obvious you havent thought this through. there are so many factors to look at, being a single mum for one, isnt easy, either hell run a mile, or hell feel obliged to come back to you. NOT what you want from the father of your baby. you have plenty of time to have children with a loving supportive partner.

    I mean this in a loving way, but perhaps you should buy a pet, a kitten or a puppy? that way you get someone to love and care for.

    The feeling of your ex will pass and you will meet someone who rocks your boat even more.

    Source(s): mother of 5
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, it is a totally normal thing to feel. But you need to think this through, and ask yourself some questions, can you afford to take care of a baby for 18+ years? Are you emotionally ready for all the changes? Are you financially stable. As for saying that your ex "assumes" you are on the pill, that's wrong. wouldn't you rather that you had a baby with someone that truely loves you with his WHOLE heart? Rather thatn someone you are "fooling around with." It doesn't matter that you won't go after child support. You need to talk to him.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well i will more than likely get reported for this but you need to give your frikken head a shake girly! A baby isnt a souvenier like a post card. Its a life time commitment. And yes you are lying to him but not telling him your not on anything. Your only setting a baby up for failure on your part by getting pregnant with you ex. A baby wont make him love you again. My god get a life!

  • 1 decade ago

    It is a normal feeling to want a child. To want a baby to love. But you have to just take a deep breath and consider if you are actually ready for a baby financially and emotionally. Finish college and find a man who loves you for you. Don't trick your ex into making you pregnant. Then he would hate you for sure for decieving him.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    its not as appealing as it may seem to you now. trust me. as soon as you get pregnant he is going to change. since he has a f hell probably deny the baby and make things very stressful and lonely for you. babies are hard to tak care of and you will be doing it by yourself because he obviously doesnt want to be with you. take you time. take a picture to remember him by. wait until you are married to have a baby. pregnancy itself is a hard thing and its not fun to do it by yourself :( i cry about it everyday and i am sure you will too... just wait. get a pet if you want something to take care of. theyre fun and easier!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You are totally WRONG! Think about the child and its future not about your silly wants. You are old enough to know you are wrong. Don't take down others while you are pretending to feed your needs.

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