Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

I want a baby with my ex.bf?Wrong?

I am in my first year starting my 2nd year this fall of college and i am 19 yrs old.I want a baby so badly i want to have someone to love and take care off.I am currently messing around or having a fling with my ex.bf who has a new gf because i am lonley and miss him.He was my first love and everything else.Is this really wrong i would never go after him for childsupport exc.?plus he is the one making the assumption i am on the pill so i never lied to him.I am still in love w/my ex.bf and want something to remeber him by? I am not sure why i feel this way still?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    There are so many things wrong with what you are doing.

    First, DO NOT get pregnant in order to have someone to love and take care of. A baby is not a puppy, and takes more care and love than you could possibly know. I can't even respond to you wanting something to "remember him by" ... that is actually very disturbing.

    Stop fooling around with your ex. Find some new friends.

    If you MUST have someone to show love and care to, why not volunteer with elderly or children groups. There are plenty of people already in this world that could use some love.

  • kathyw
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Yes, you are wrong. You, for some reason, don't have confidence in yourself that you will ever meet and marry a man who will have a strong love for you and want to share a family with you. I dont' know why that is, do you?

    You want a baby so badly and yet you're thinking about it as if it were some extended babysitting job that you will enjoy and will bring you all sorts of benefits.

    Your statement that you would never go after him for child support is so completely whacked out that I have to make this important point, since you have missed it: the child support is about the child, not you. And not about your treatment of the guy who knocks you up. The child is the one who gets the child support and trust me, if you have the neurons to be in college, you will understand that in the grand scheme of things, you need money to raise a child. Are you thinking your mom and dad will bail you out? They won't. It is a lifelong commitment and there will be heartache for them knowing how simplistically you approached a major life-altering decision thinking they would fund your baby dreams.

    If you want something to remember your ex by, have a really good portrait photo taken in a good studio and have it framed. It will also last a lifetime.

    Your feelings have spilled over into dangerous, dangerous territory - almost like 'Fatal Attraction'- type craziness! That's what you and anyone who has sexual contact with you should be worrying about.

    You are in college and they have counseling for students. Why not give that counseling service a try. It's obvious - to me, at least - that if you were having a better experience with the social life at college (i.e, dating, meeting new guys), this whole idea of yours would never have developed. But no matter what the reason, it's still a psychotic solution to simply missing an old boyfriend!

  • 1 decade ago

    You have lots of time left in your life to have a baby. You'll find a man who is not attached to anyone & you'll fall in love, marry, & have a family. Trying to get pregnant by your ex b/f is only going to cause you more heartache & problems down the road. Why do you want a baby by your ex when he has a g/f? He's cheating on her behind her back. Is this the kind of guy you want to have a baby with? By not telling your ex that you're not on the pill, when he's assuming it, is lying, because you never set the record straight!!!! Get your college education, as that should come first. Then get out into the world & find a good job. Save your money & build up a nice nest egg for your future. Having a baby now will be a burden on you in more ways than one. It's not fair for the baby not to have a full time dad to help raise him/her. Think with your mind not your heart.

  • 1 decade ago

    The last thing you want to do is have a baby by this person. You are still young and you need to finish college. I know you miss your ex, but you need to get over it and move on. I could go on and on about how a kid will change everything. And by the way, you are lying to your ex about birth control. How dare you try to make the decision of having a baby for him. That is not your right. I am a college graduate, married, have a job and it is still difficult to raise a child. Think long and hard before you make a drastic decision like this.

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  • pshdsa
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Good night! Of course your ex is going to milk the cow as long as he doesn't have to pay for it. So your ex is willing to screw you, his present g/f and who else? And you, you feel no consternation about deceiving him about birth control. And you feel no guilt about sleeping with a guy with a g/f. I guess you don't mind unfaithfulness. He will discard you like an empty milk carton. You love that? You want to have a remembrance of that? Are you crazy? A child is a huge responsibility. Totally unfair to the child to bring him up in a one parent home. Children need mom and dad for stability and well being. You visualize a child as something to love. Reality check. That child needs to eat, get medical help, have clothes and a parents with tons of patience. You'll need to get out of school and get a job to support both you and him. Without a degree there are not a lot of high paying jobs. You might find a medium waged job if you are dependable and work hard. That will be your life, for the rest of your life. Take my advice. Stop all this and concentrate on school and good grades and a future. Lonely? So what! Join the crowd. Get over it. Either you control your feelings or you will allow your feelings to control you. Children need parents because they cannot control their impulses. Be an adult and respect yourself for a change. You don't need that creep. Wake up before you ruin your life.

  • 1 decade ago

    Honestly, you are wrong on a couple of levels here. First off, you need to come clean with your ex-boyfriend that your not on the pill. Your being deceitful. He has the right to choose whether or not he wants to create a child with you. Secondly, he has a girlfriend...your both wrong for doing this behind her back and probably just proved that he cheated on you while you two were together.

    Secondly, your in college! What are you thinking? You want to be loved? Try loving yourself because your actions arent really showing that you do right now. Get back in touch with your self-respect and self worth and stop this stuff that your doing. Its selfish and it effects the lives of others and not just your own.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    At 19, you are not financially stable enough to raise a child. Face it, you only want to get pregnant so that your ex-boyfriend will feel forced to be in your life. Please do not bring an innocent child into this world to feed your selfish needs. A child is not a token of nostalgia, it is a living, breathing human being who needs the love and support of two parents who love and support each other. You have tricked him with the sin of omission, and that is just as bad as outwardly lying.

    Children cost a lot of money, you would need the child support and you know it. If you want something to remember him by, steal one of his shirts or something. Please see a counselor. There is something terribly wrong with you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    These feelings you are having are common feelings of losing your first love. However in the long run it will be bad for you emotionally and for the child if you were to conceive on. And he would dislike you even more if you were to sneak around and try to get pregnant. I will tell you this one bit of advice, please wait until you have gotten over him to make your decision about having a child, not because your not together and not because its unethical but because you are doing something in your life right now that will better your future, and will give your future child or children a hopeful future. Make sure not to make rash decisions its easy to say you want something to love, and to love you but a baby is not the answer, also if you want something to remember him by take a shirt or something not his sperm!!!!

    Hope this helps and if you need to talk contact me any time :)

    Sarah

  • 3 years ago

    a million. Ryan Hunter Smyth, he proposes precisely a twelve months from as quickly as we met on the sea coast. 2. purple and white, we honeymoon in aruba. 3. 2 storys, 5 bedrooms, 4 bogs. massive outdoors with a pool. a in demand indoors. 4. Matthew Asher 5. Scarlett Alexis and Ella Liyla 6. Daisy Elana 7. Ace Hayden 8. Gavin Daniel, Kaylie Emma, and Arianna Leah Matt Scarlett Ella Daisy Ace Gavin Kaylie Arianna

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First off, continue going to college, your grammar leaves little to be desired. I would re-read what you wrote, but, I may end up more confused.

    Listen to me, you are not ready for a child.

    Do you have a stable income? Do you really want a child to be raised out of wedlock? Do you have any idea of what it takes to take care of a child? Are you mentally stable to handle such a responsibility, when you can't even figure out why you want to have a child in the first place? Do you even know what you're talking about?

    Speak to a health professional. You're only going to hurt the child that you bring into this world.

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