Are you a physically disabled parent? Do you find that you have to "justify" your ability to be a good parent

I am a physically disabled mom of 2 girls - ages 2 and 3. I use a walker at home, and a wheelchair when leaving the house. My husband is incredible and helps out a lot around the house. I am sometimes annoyed by people who wonder "How do I do it??" It's one thing to be curious about the method of how I do things (I don't mind that), but oftentimes the questioning appears to be more as though they are wondering if I am capable of safely caring for my two toddlers.

Do any other disabled parents have this happen? I know that many physically able parents should be questioned about their parenting skills. I consider myself a very good mom, and I am offended that others question my ability to parent just because of a physical disability.

9 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes I am blind. People always asked my kids if they help mommy. Like I have kids to survive? They also say what a great job a guide dog does. What about us. We care for them, we also reinforce the training. No one ever assumes that we can do anything at all.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am physically disabled and use crutches to be able to walk. I know that it's frustrating but if you're able to participate in your daughters lives out side of the house than people will stop asking. Even though I was on crutches I worked as a volunteer at my daughters schools. When I realized that my youngerst was learning disabled and that the school was taking it's time about providing services I went to school with her everyday to make sure that she was getting what she needed to learn. I worked in one of the first grade class rooms helping the teacher while my daughter was in the third through sixth grades. I was PTA vice president, and the leader of her girl scout troop for five years, Once people see that they don't question your ability to take care of your children. If your disability prevents you from working outside of the home than if people ask how you do it tell them with the grace of my higher power or God if that's what you believe and than don't let it bother you. It's your attitude towards being disabled that will affect your children more than what some stranger says. The issue that I have is people talking over me to one of my children like because I have trouble walking my brains are in my bottom. My girls really hate that. I've gotten to the point where other people's ingnorace doesn't bother me it's their problem not mine.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sweetheart if a person is judging you simply by your disabilities, then they need to take a good look at themselves! I say that if you are raising a family, and are disabled, then you are someone to look up to, not degrade! It is hard enough now days to raise kids, make a loving home, be a mate to your husband/wife and be able to financially provide for them. If you are doing just this, together as a family, then I say Praise the Lord! Don't let some closed minded, unintelligent, disrespectful person make you question your abilities! I pray the Lord continues to bless you and your family!

  • 1 decade ago

    How frustrated you must feel.

    I think your more than capable of looking after of your children, possibly better than a few "normal parents" out there. Your properly more safety conscious than most parents, simply because you can not move as quickly as we can.

    I have a disability but am lucky enough to still be able to get around fairly normally. But when I was really quite ill, and unable to look after my then young daughter as well as I would have like too,I resented that fact that I was questioned by child protection services, even though my husband and family helped heaps, as well as having medical and other support services involved.

    So do what I did, I'd smile at the nay sayers and prove to them that your very capable to look after your little ones, with the support of your loving and supportive hubby.

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  • 1 decade ago

    People always judge others person with his apparence. Never doubt of your capability to do a thing if you're onjectively good. You don't have to justify. What you do good with your children is the only important thing you have to keep in mind. Don't judge you by the opinion of other. Others probably don't know how is to be physically disabled.

  • 4 years ago

    I could desire to declare no. yet what I do think of shouldn't ensue is a upward thrust in public tips for any reason, incorporate the start of extra little ones. working type father and mom don't get a develop in keeping with such. it extremely is been shown that some could have further young ones to get an develop. The device perpetuates lack of understanding.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm not a disabled parent but my cousin is. She has MS. Here's an outsiders point of view. I've watched her have to justify having her child and raising her. I've watched in disgust as her own parents made comments about abortion because of her condition and the fact that, yes, she is going to get worse. I know she has had to go to court to defend her right to raise her own child. I'm not a parent with disabilities but someone I love is. And just from watching it from the outside I see how difficult it is for her to have to justify having her kid. It makes me very sad.

    The really sick thing is that my cousin had to defend herself concerning her ability to parent when her neighbor (a completely able bodied but really stupid women) lets her kids run wild. Nobody seems to care about her but Amy (that's my cousin) has to defend herself. Makes me sick. I can't even imagine how bad that is for her.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Happens often. You just need to smile brightly and say we all learn to do things differently - sometimes I wonder how any one can keep track of their kids without a wheelchair!

  • *Jenn*
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    my dad has been disabled from his diabetes for as long as i can remember and he raised me and my brother just fine since my mom was always working

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