I'm not sure how old you are, but I am 26, and I know the feeling all too well. I've been in my relationship for what seems like forever, and it seems as though most marriages go through the same thing. You can try counseling, but it seems you have no time. Having kids is time consuming, too. I too have 2 kids. And every month or 2 is great compared to what I went through. I too tried the whole "rekindling" experiment, and "spicing things up." Neither worked for long. It wasn't until we stopped counseling and decided that we needed to set time for each other. If you can, maybe try to have someone babysit the kids one night a week. Go out to eat or someplace quiet and just talk. Talk about anything bothering you, anything about sex (ideas to try, etc.,) ..... anything at all. Don't change subjects, and finish the topics at hand one at a time. By going some place public, namely a diner or restaurant, it may prevent an argument for the sake of either of you getting embarrassed. When you get home, relax for a few minutes apart before you get back into your routine life. As long as you feel as though you at least have that closeness as a "friendship", it may help with being open and honest. I feel that being open and honest with no distractions has loosened things up a bit for me, and things have been a lot better now. You can try whatever you please, but this worked for me, and still does. Good luck!