Esmeralda asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

What kind of psychologist or therapist should we see?

My boyfriend suffers from depression and is on Lexapro. He had social anxiety (due to speech delay, etc.) since childhood but overcame most of it over time. However, several traumatic things have happened... His dad died, his mom is now terminally ill, he lost everything in Katrina...We've been dating for 6 months and he has hit an empasse. He loves me in his heart, he know's our compatibility is good and that we are good for each other, he wants to marry me but something grips him - FEAR (and I mean hyperventilating fear)! I told him at some point he either needed to work on it with me or let me go. He chose to work on it. But, I don't know what kind of psychologist would be needed. Marriage therapist? Some kind of specialst? Persons in the mental health industry - please advise. Also, if you know someone in the Houston area that is GOOD, please tell me. I think we have 1-shot and I dont want to waste it on someone who won't be effective in helping him break though. Thanks!

9 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    In that he has PTSD post traumatic stress disorder I would suggest therapy for that. A very effective one is EMDR.


    Research studies show that EMDR is very effective in helping people process emotionally painful and traumatic experiences. When used in conjunction with other therapy modalities, EMDR helps move the client quickly from emotional distress to peaceful resolution of the issues or events involved. EMDR sessions work amazingly fast. Processing even the most difficult memories can be achieved in a fraction of the time it previously would have taken with traditional therapy alone.

    Nancy Baker-Brown

    5311 Kirby Dr., Suite 204

    Houston, Texas 77005

    Phone: 713-533-9811

    Fax: 832-201-8679

    Theresa J. Flanagan

    4545 Bissonnet #120

    Bellaire-Houston, Texas 77401

    Phone: 713-669-0373

    Fax: 713-669-0217

  • 1 decade ago

    Find a grief counselor who is also certified in EMDR hypnotherapy. It's a type of hypnosis and can be used in conjunction with grief counseling. It's not painful emotionally and helped me get rid of my anxiety completely. Therapists are a kind of hit and miss thing so you just have to find one that "fits". I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with anxiety and I no longer suffer from any of it. It took awhile but with good help I learned wonderful coping skills and am very happy. I am also not on any medications anymore. I'm so sorry for all the losses your boyfriend has suffered. I'm sure you have suffered too.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm not an expert, but I think an individual (rather than marriage) therapist would be best. Keep in mind that your boyfriend may need to see more than one therapist before he finds one that he "clicks" with.

    I also think 6 months isn't a very long time, and you two might be rushing into marriage. Time helped him overcome his childhood social anxiety, so give him time (plus therapy and perhaps medication) to overcome his fear. Best wishes to you both.

  • 0rion
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Hypertension and exessive fear, sounds like me a few years ago.

    Sorry to hear about all that stuff thats happened to you all, i live in hurrcane alley aswell and can relate to some of that.

    As for a proffessional i would do something kind of strange, i would call up as many psycotherapists as i can get numbers for in your area or state if nessissary and ask their oppinions on the others aswell as a reference for the best for this certain situation, like a medication, a therapist is different for everyone, so you gotta find the right one for you.

    I doubt your going to find much that your looking for online since almost all that an MD puts online is the generic "proffessional with XX years of experience"

    So make some calls, hospitals, psycologist offices and the like, ask around and do phone interviews, remember, the one you find you will be paying so, in short their working for you, so do those interviews and find out for yourself.

    Good luck, im sure you two will find something to be satisfied with. :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hyperventilating is a symptom of anxiety, fear is also a symptom of fear. But that is a minor correction. Your boy friend's anxiety is caused by situations, it does not seem like an underlying, clinical state of anxiety. You don't want to see a couples counselor, it is not a problem that has its root in your relationship, it is his anxiety relating to these situations. He needs to see a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT). This kind of therapy is usually short term, and the technique is to change the dysfunctional thinking and/or behaviors of the client.

    Good luck.


  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    He has the problem, and a psychiatrist, an MD that is familiar with depression and anxiety, is the ticket.

    The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance can hook you up:

    also cognitive therapy:

    Get 2 copies of "The Feeling Good Book"

    less than $10 in paperback, I use it. You will both understand a lot more, and you must be very active in therapy to achieve results.

    Good Luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Have your boyfriend seek out cognitive therapy. It has proven to be the best form of treatment for many mental health disorders. Tell your boyfriend to ask his MD for a referral to a reputable psychologist who does cognitive therapy.

    Mary S

  • 1 decade ago

    You should go to both a psychologist AND a marriage counselor. One will help him overcome his inner anxiety, and the other will alleviate any fears that either of you might have about spending the rest of your lives together.

  • 1 decade ago

    Find a Couples Therapist in your area. Your guy lost his Dad, his Mom is dying, and their things got wiped out of existance. From your guy's standpoint, everyone and everything this guy has loved or owned leaves or dies. My guess is he is terrified of losing you, too.

    Source(s): Personal observation.
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