My boyfriend and I started fighting again, what can I do?
We were talking on the phone (we are having problems about his work schedule and our relationship schedule mixing well) and we began fighting. He was talking to me in a manner that I did not care for and he would not stop so I hung up on him. Shortly afterwards, I received a voicemail saying he was done and he wanted me out of his life... so forth and so on... Well I don't take the news very well and go home to be away from everything. He calls when he gets home from work and is basically in tears and is like you are all I have, I need to talk to you, please call me. Well I call him and he apoligizes and everything and now we are 'talking it out' I am just so confused and I am left wondering Is it worth it? Do I need to put myself through this again? I know I am sounding like it is all about me, sorry, we are one of those break up and back together the next day kind of couples. Will you help me? I need to know what to do. If we do get back together, how can we ba happy again?
I know it is immature. Yes I do have a full time job and work full time. Our relationship is long distance, we only see one another on the weekends. I see it as if we are going to have a strong relationship we need to talk throughout the week.
Thanks for all of your truthful answers, they are extremely helpful!
- SunshineLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
Relationships are filled with the "hills and valleys" of life. It's all about learning how to fight. First thing I would suggest is quit hanging up on each other. That's shows such a lack of respect. Even when my husband and I are in a heated fight on the phone, we NEVER hang up on each other. We usually say something to the effect: "I can't discuss this anymore right now, I just too mad. I'll talk to you later." But I have always felt hanging up on someone just escalates the fight to the next level, as is apparently did for you. I can understand him being mad enough to say "It's over". But he obviously didn't mean it from the rest of your letter. I would say to continue working on this relationship if you truly feel he's someone you could be happy with the rest of your life. If you can't envision that, then maybe this is a wakeup call you two to rethink your relationship. The constant breakup and mending of a relationship is not healthy for either one of you. Don't subject yourself to that forever! You need to agree how to fight, too. Sometime when you're NOT fighting, you should discuss how to fight and not fight; boundaries; things that you agree not to say and do to each other. Again, it's all about respect for each other. Try and think how you would speak to someone that you had a lot of respect for like a professor or boss or minister or someone. Could you imagine yourself arguing with them saying the things you say to your man? Of course not. So treat him with as much respect as you would that person. Sorry this is so long but I have dealt with this for 25 years with my husband and we very seldom have hurtful fights anymore. Heated discussions, yes, but hurtful ones, no. Good luck with your guy!
- Sassy OLD BroadLv 71 decade ago
You both need to lighten up and stop the "DRAMA"...!!! Geeze, you have to go to work....you have to do it on a schedule. Leave the dude alone and let him get his work done without bugging the hell out of him. When he's able, you guys get together. In the mean time, why don't you go to work/school? What do you think other couples do? Fight all of the time? NO...they are understanding and know that there are other things that take priority over just being in each other's face. That's called a "mature relationship". Grow up, honey. It's much easier than what you're doing now. Godloveya.
- 1 decade ago
first of all, it sounds like you need to grow up! If you two disagree, do it on your own time. Not at his J.O.B. Having him take time from work to argue with you, reflects poorly on his work performance and he could be fired! Then you'll really have problems having a man with no job. Are you working? It sounds like you're not and have too much time on your hands. Are you in school? If not then maybe you should find something to do with your spare time. If you really care for this man, then make it work and stop trying to nit pick. Does he bring the paycheck home? Does he take you out and buy you nice things with his paycheck. Is he good to you? If so, stop whining!
- pictureshygirlLv 71 decade ago
I feel your argument about his work schedule is unfair as you need to try and be more understanding. You both sound as if you love each other but are having a problem with how to resolve conflict. To successfully resolve conflict is to be able to come to a compromise where you both end up winning. For if only one wins, you both lose. An argument should not be about getting our own way, but should be focused on a resolution of both getting their way, this is to compromise. If you love him get back with him, talk to him of what I just told you. You both need to work at preserving the love you have for each other before hateful words destroy it. I do wish you both all the best.
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- 1 decade ago
Not a good sign when he resolves to breaking up with you when things get tough. If it happens once it will happen again. Honestly re-think your situation before you make any decisions about staying with him.
- KlingonLv 61 decade ago
Sounds to me like u two like drama in ur lives.
Seek professional help from a therapist.
- Mean CarleenLv 71 decade ago
Your relationship is a circle...round and round same ole thangy and it will be this way until one of you say ENOUGH and means it.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Just keep walking.