Do you think my brother-in-law should be trusted ?

It's been 9 months through my mariage and the same since I was introduced to my husband's family. I just confronted my in-laws about the tension that was going on between us, made worse bcoz my brother-in-law was being pretentious and had the worst personality (arrogant, self-centred and controlling). After I caught him mocking me, I was too shocked to confront him on the spot until 2 weeks later. I was tired of them hiding behind hugs and kisses whenever we greet while my sister-law could barely look me in the eyes. I had a meeting with each one of them, and we agreed that we started off with wrong prejudice against each other, but when it came to my brother-in-law, he said he doesn't remember anything from his venomous comments to his mockery! But he accepted his faults, and promised to change, bcoz I gave him an ultimatum, that I refuse to see him after his lack of respect and foul personality. I know I have to look at the positive side, but I'm not sure if he should be trusted?

Update:

He even claimed he has always loved me and accepted me as his sister-in-law, but why all the drama? I'm wondering whether he is using a strategy to cover his bad behaviour, and he fears loneliness, bcoz he doesn't have friends of his own apart from my husband & gang, so he's being clever for his own good?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    he is an idiot and I would not give a damn what he thinks!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    There's an old saying, keep your loved ones close and your enemies closer. If you feel that you can't trust this person, you have to ask yourself, is he worth the trouble of wrecking your happy home? Smile and be civil but I wouldn't trust him. Don't upset yourself too much, he really sounds immature and idiotic and isn't worth all the concern. Let him talk all he wants, as long as you know what he's saying isn't true. Why sweat it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Since this man IS in your family, I would go ahead and be sweet as a daisy to him. As far as the family is concerned, you have had your disagreement, and have now made peace....

    I personally wouldn't let your guard down with him. If you have doubts trusting someone, then you should go with your feelings.

    Smile. Play nice. But don't turn your back long enough for him to put another knife in it.

    Good luck! :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, since he's family now there's nothing much you can do except give it a chance. See if he's changed, and if not, do what you have to do. Everyone deserves a second chance, though, when it comes to keeping peace in the family.

    But only ONE more chance. Then write him off.

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  • 1 decade ago

    The best way to deal with your in-laws is to get even. The best form of revenge is success. You do not have to stoop to their level. Be as sweet as you possibly can, be true to yourself and know you did not marry them. It is your husband that you married. You should support your husband in the best and worst of times. Should his family try to do something to tick you off smile. When they get under your skin and get you mad the family wins. When you know this much about them and you don't get mad and are able to smile, then you win and are able to hold your head high.

  • kathyw
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    For whatever reason, he is the way he is. Maybe you think he's basically untrustworthy. But you have to trust him until he goes against that trust. Then gently confront him about it. It's no use thinking about the relapse that hasn't occurred yet.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well its good that you approached him and let him know where you stand it should have been attended to earlier but hey whats done is done if he cant respect how you feel then you have a decision to make that may or may not have a affect on your life

  • 1 decade ago

    Everyone deserves a second chance---just not a third, fourth, and fifth chance. And trust me please, I am speaking from experience. Give him one more shot, if he blows that one tell your man the situation and tell him you do not wish to have any kind of a relationship with his brother. As selfish or as*hole-ish as it may sound, it won't be if you have given him 2 shots to prove himself. Good Luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    No. i don't think you should trust you brother-in-law. in the first place, it's so difficult to change. he may change at first but he will go on to his doings after several days. it is also more difficult to correct the mistakes of stubborn adults than children. just limit yourself in mingling with him, and be cautious always on what you do. as long as you know you are not doing anything wrong, just go on with your life. and besides you don't need to please him if he doesn't want to.

  • 1 decade ago

    Nope

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Some people are prone to drama for one rason or another...just accept what he claims, but don't put too much into it or you are bound to be disapointed. Also, I think hubby should be stepping in if it becomes too dramatic

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