Christians why do you do this?

I used to be new born Christian . Would go to church, bible school, teach sunday school, prayer meetings. But if I miss one meeting the other people would say : oh where were you last Sunday , dont u have time for God? Why dont u get more involved with church, oh is this or that moreimportant than God...etc etc. Eventually I felt so forced, I jsut did things cos all the bible punchers were forcing me. What if I can not help that I have to work late one night? Or if I wanna stay at home and pray? Why do I have to get involved in every single church activity imagionable? Am I not serving God and not the church????

46 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Some groups of chrisitans, believe it or not, would say something like "Praise God that you were able to have that time for His work" or something similar, instead of "Why weren't you at church?!"

    It boils down to the false belief that things done "at church" or "in church" serve God, and those done outside the church are somehow "ungodly" or "worldly." Nonsense, of course, and even many of the ones castigating you would disagree with that statement -- but it's the root cause.

    Many people not only believe this, but get the idea that they must do things "at church" instead of "for Jesus."

    This frees them from having to actually bother to serve and minister to others.

    Then, when you threaten that by not subscribing to it to the letter, they *feel* threatened and spout the party line about how the only way to serve God is to be at a particular building at a particular time.

    Your final question, "Am I not serving God and not the church?" indicates that you "get it" already! Except that "the church" is US, the body of people who believe in Jesus. It isn't a building, nor a 501 (c) (3) corporation, nor an official body of men appointed or elected by a meeting. The church is us, we the church are the body of Christ, and we're supposed to be doing his work.

    Griping and sniping (where were you last sunday/wednesday/etc.), I would submit, isn't that work.


  • 1 decade ago

    There is such a truth being revealed here... The truth is that 90% of the work of a church gets done by 10% of the people.

    You know what you need to do... Relax... God has done all the "hard" work... What you need to do is take the time away from the church building and look for where God is working.

    You realize the difference between real guilt and false guilt. The good serving church members are asking you to do all this work, that may not be necessary. Yes, there are times when the grass needs cutting, the floor vacuumed, etc.

    Look at where you can serve. Are they having a covered dish dinner for visitors? Do you want to make a covered dish? Then volunteer there...

    Do you enjoy cleaning? Volunteer your time once a week to doing that.

    Do you enjoy greeting people?

    What do you enjoy doing? You know it's funny. People believe God is some ogre that is sitting up in Heaven going... "HEY!!! Are you enjoying yourself down there? Will you cut it out?!?"

    Find something that you enjoy.... Nursery service? Do you enjoy prayer ministry? Choir? Bulletin printing...

    Whatever you feel that you enjoy.... Not everyone can be the preacher... Choose for yourself a couple of activities and pass on the rest...

    You don't have to do everything... Just concentrate your focus on a couple of things as you feel lead... Pray at home, study the Word, do what you do...

    Remember, do it as unto the Lord. When someone acts surly and uppity. They are the ones that have to answer to God. You merely stay focused on what YOU are doing.

    God doesn't care about the size of your building or if you have a paved parking lot, pads on your pews... What good is a picture perfect stage if you miss all the cues?

  • 1 decade ago

    Well I don't do that and let me say you must have been in a Baptist church when this was going on. I have experienced that when I was in a "Baptist" church. I never felt like I fit in and I always felt as if I was being watched to be judged on my walk with God. I am now in a non-denominational church and the people there are not like that at all. If I miss a Sunday they will say "where you here last Sunday" and I'll say oh no I didn't make it...sometimes I'll here "Girl neither did I" other times they'll just say "Oh I know I did not see you" and that is it. There are no judgmental comments or looks. If you choose not to do something but go to church and hear the preacher then my church let's you do that without judging. You are not even looked at crazy if you don't take communion...there is no collection plate passed around, there are "gift boxes" as our church calls it that are throughout the church and you put your tithes and offerings as you will and when you want. Our pastor says it is his job to speak the word of God in his preaching and it is God's job to use that word to work in the hearts of the people...therefore there is no pressure in our church like that.

  • 1 decade ago

    Christians should never look down their self righteous nose at anyone. We should be lifting each other up or edification.

    You don't have to get involved with ever single church activity. If God has called you to teach, then you should be teaching. Get involved with (1) what God has called you to do and (2) activities that make you a stronger Christian.

    Do you have to attend church? Yes. But there will be times you won't be able to go but God understands that.

    You need to find you a church that (1) is scriptural (2) loving (3) you can serve in (4) you feel like you can grow spirtually in. Pray that God leads you to a church like that.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Kidd!
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    It sounds like your church is FULL of legalists! They are the ones with the problem...NOT you.

    Keep on serving the Lord the best way you know how. You may want to consider joining a different church altogether!

    On a humorous note, one Sunday about a year ago I skipped church in order to go to a drag racing event. As I was walking down the bleacher steps I fell and broke my arm. I joked about it at church the next Sunday and everybody thought that the Lord must have a great sense of humor! No one claimed that it was a "judgment of God" or anything of the sort. They were just thankful that I did not get killed.

    Good luck and God bless!

  • 1 decade ago

    You are not supposed to be serving the church; your primary goal should be your relationship with God. If someone in your church has a problem with that then #1 they are not the Christian they should be, and #2 tell them that they aren’t the reason you come to church, God is. Therefore they have no right to tell you where you should be and when you should be there. Its people like that that give Christians a bad name. Church is a support group, a chance to be with others that believe as you do. But how much you are involved will not get you into heaven, how close you are to god will. God Bless

  • TWWK
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    A lot of people feel pressured that way in churches. I have a friend that visited a church one Sunday for the first time, and they immediately starting pegging him and his wife for door greeting duty!

    I think that people want you really involved in their community. When they see that you're gone, they miss you. But also, they may not understand that you've got other things going in life.

    Church service is important - we are told to build up the body of believers. But everything we do should be for God's glory. Serve God alone, in any way you feel lead to.

    And in regards to a late night at work or wanting to stay home - remember, God was the one who gave us a day of rest. We certainly need rest, too - so don't feel guilty about staying home because your tired!

  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, don't lump all "Christians" together. We don't all do that. We serve God, and Man- and should not be judgemental at all of anybody. We just are called to Love as Jesus loved. If people are judgmental, they are sinning, and are not doing what God has instructed us to do. They should be ignored, and perhaps you are not in the right worship environment that best represents God's views. I would politely tell them it is between you and God, and politely move to another church. Shop around, because not all churches are doing God's work. Some are just trying to fill the pews, increase their numbers, be the biggest church in the area, and build as many buildings as possible. The Church are the people- who need to reflect Christ in all that they do.

    I promise to pray for you, and encourage others who are responding to your post to pray also. Don't get discouraged. God loves you no matter what others say. Even if you miss a sunday, etc. You are in charge of your schedule, and don't have to answer to anybody else except your Lord and Savior. It is between you and God.

    God Bless you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Why do you say you used to be a born again, just cause this happened don't make you not a born again christian. But I know what ya mean though, you do what you can and what you can't you don't. If you did everything they expected you to do you would be very wore out physically, mentally and spiritually and God don't want that to happen to you or anyone else. You have a life, you have a family and God knows that, you serve God the best way you and your family can and God will bless you. Your right you are out to serve and please God not the church and if they can't except that then they themselves have a problem..

  • Kaliko
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    You need to go to another church. Condemnation like that is from people NOT GOD! God doesn't lay a guilt trip and knows just how much you are able to do. If I had an experience like you I would run away from that church and those people as fast as I could. You can only do what you can do. If it is just greeting at the door one sunday a month --- so be it! Don't beat yourself up. It is not your problem....they are the ones with the problem. Personally, I would go talk to the pastor and explain how much pressure, condemnation and guilt there is within his own church. That kind of thing turns people away and little by little the church fizzles.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.