Krys asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Should I switch my host family?

I will be in Japan for an entire year. I have been here for a month and I have been very unhappy with my host family. They seem to think that I came to Japan only to clean their house and change my personality completely. Here is the thing, they are dirty, 15 years older than my own parents, busy, and confrontational. I cant deal with it anymore. I have cried so many times and its all because of something that one of them said to me or my host father lying about me or something like that. I want to be happy and whenever I even THINK about my host family I feel like crying. I dont want to stay with them any longer or else I will turn into a bad person. My host father is a lier and my host mother thinks that I shouldnt seek my dreams and that I should become a different person. Everyone knows that I want to be either a singer, model or actress but she had the nerve to say, "I dont think you should seek talent Krys, I think you should do something more intelligent." I need help.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have only two things to say:

    1. You need to talk to your own parents or the teacher in charge of your exchange. Either of these 2 people will sort you out. Most Japanese families see it as a privilege to host an English-speaking person, so there will be many other caring families waiting to take you in. I'm sure this exchange trip would have cost you or your parents loads of money, and there's no point staying over there if you're not going to have a good time.

    2. No matter what your host mother says, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! I can only stress this so much! If being a singer, model or an actress is your ambition in life, never ever let it fall because of what one person said to you.

    P.S. Last year I went to Singapore and Japan for two weeks, and I had this problem with my Singaporean host family. They were dirty, talked to much and left pubic hair in the drains. I did nothing about this, however, and I regret it so much. I wish now that I had talked to the teacher in charge of the exchange.

    I hope this helps.

  • 1 decade ago

    Obviously you have tried and its not working. Speak with your parents and tell them what is going on and that you need new host family. You are not in their home to be a slave and the way they are treating you is digusting. Report this to your school so they know what kind of people these people are and can find you a host family that is more suitable. If they cant find you another host family cancel the trip its not worth it and nobody should tell you not to follow your dreams. Being a model or singer is not easy and alot of hard work, Japan is a different culture than ours and they feel differentlyabout things we do and that is not something that will work out with you spending a year with them get out now

  • 1 decade ago

    Are you doing anything fun at all with this host family? Can you just change host families? If you can than change. A year is a long time to cry all the time. However, this host mother maybe didn't mean it to be a bad thing to seek something more intelligent. Maybe they value highly educated people more than entertainers and really that is their opinion. Try not to be so hard on them. Or leave. Really this is up to you, not us here on yahoo answers. But I think maybe your ought to try and see their way of living and not take some of this stuff so personally. They can't change you in a years time.

  • 1 decade ago

    You don't say why you are in Japan and staying with a host family. If you're there as an exchange student at a college there, definitely go see whoever your contact person is and demand to be switched to a better host family. When my sister was and exchange student, she didn't like her host family very much but they didn't make her do the housework and they didn't lecture her on her lifestyle. If part of your commitment in the exchange was NOT to be the housekeeper, don't do it (however, if you did agree to do housekeeping in exchange for room and board, then that's the deal). If they start in on you about changing your goals, just smile benevolently, bow, and kindly say, "thank you for looking out for my well being. I will take into consideration what you say." Don't say too much, don't tell them you are just going to ignore their advice (which you should). Just smile, tell them thanks, then just proceed to do what you always intended to do. They aren't your real parents, they have no stake in your success (or failure). But you have to at least act like you listened and are grateful just to avoid getting them mad (which will result in just more grief and more harrassment). But do see if you can be moved somewhere else.

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  • dr c
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    If you have some agency or point of call to alter your host family I think you should definitely do so.

    Most importantly, you should inform your own parents re the whole matter and see what they say to you, or what thy can do.

    Personally, I don't think you should stay where you are ... not only do you, as a young person, deserve better, but they need to learn from their own mistakes and poor performance in life that this is 'not good enough'!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If this is what it is like after a month, what is it going to be like after a year? You need to call an emergency meeting with your sponsor/coordinator. Is there another family available? Or will you have to go home if you can´t stay with this family? Cultural differences are one thing, chemistry is another. Have you spoken with your real family about this matter and your concerns?

    Source(s): I was an exchange student.
  • 1 decade ago

    if you are not happy then you shouldnt be there but you also should remember that japan is a different culture than where you are from so if you do leave or while you are still there dont look at them as bad people.

  • 5 years ago

    Contact your family

  • 1 decade ago

    you could either sit down and talk with them about it, or see if you can switch to a different family that you'll want to stay with and have a good time.

  • 1 decade ago

    I ran sweetheart, switch this family.

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