How do you leave him if he's VERY controlling!!!!?

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and so much has happen. I love him, but I don't think I can do it anymore. When I try to break up with him he does one of two things. He either sit there and starts to tell me things like "are you really willing to deal with the consequences if you leave me?" or "do you know what your getting your self into?". And the other way is he'll sit there and tell me"you know I love, we can make this work, please dont leave me" or "how can you just give us up so quick, lets make it work". He scares the **** out of me when he gets upset. I dunno what to do, so I always go back. I want things to work but things seem to stay the same. No matter how much he is trying or I am trying, we seem to end up at the same spot as before. It just goes on and on. How do I go about this whole thing?

8 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    GET OUT OF THERE! He sounds like he is threatening you if you go.

    If you live together, call in sick one day to work, then pack up as much as you can and go to your parents house, other family member, friend, or at least a hotel. Then take yourself to the court and get an Emergency Order of Protection. This will protect you for a couple of weeks until the 2-yr order is approved.

    You need to leave quietly and quickly. He sounds like he is a control freak ready to snap!!!

    Source(s): Went thru this before. message me if you need more help or advice.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Girl, you need to GET OUT! The longer you are w/ him the harder it will be to leave and the worse his behavior will be. Do not put yourself through this any longer. Move out and go live w/ a friend or family member for a while. If you are afraid of him stalking you, hurting you, or anything like that...get a restraining order or protection order. You have to do something. Situations like this get worse w/ time. Act now! PLEASE! There are plenty of options out there. You just have to find one that works for you. Pay no mind to what he says or threatens you w/. Don't even tell him you are leaving. When he isn't home get your stuff and get the hell out of there. Run away! You might love him, but he obviously doesn't love you if he is treating you like this. Get out before you get hurt. Think smart and put yourself first. Don't worry about him. Go somewhere safe. The police can help you if you go to them. I know you probably don't want to do that, but know that you might have to if this guy won't leave you alone. Please take my advice. Good luck, and be safe.

  • 1 decade ago

    Use your family to help you. Move in with your parents or sibs or whoever.

    Sounds like he's going to go all stalker. Keep a journal. Date and time every call or contact and everything you remember about what was said. This will help the prosecution prove a pattern of behavior if this ends up in court.

    After the first incident (Hopefully their won't be one) get a restraining order.

  • 1 decade ago

    Question -- does he get violent and through fits of rage or is he one of those who is verbally abusive. I lived with my ex husband for 14 years and it was always I'm going to kill myself or if you leave me I'll take the kids and you'll never see them again. Finally I had enough and kicked him out. Always have someone with you if you do decide to confront him. If you have children I know it's more difficult to leave. If you feel you need to leave I do believe you need to leave while he's not around and do not go where he can find you. Don't go to friends or family until things blow over. Go out of town or state to spend some time. If he's controlling like you say then don't be where he can stalk you. Stay long enough to get your affairs in order and to save some money. Then go!!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    Honey you need to leave him NOW!!!. It not only sounds controlling but dangerous. He's threatening you with unknown circumstances if you leave him. That's bull****. If you think he's going to physically harm you or vandalize your property after the break up you need to inform the police. If you stay with him, you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life. You need to leave him before you end up accidentally having a child by him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Seriously, you should send him an email. You can not be scared of him and break up with him. If you are too scared of him to end things then you need to first break up with him and then drive to the police station and put a restraining order on him. I have lived in fear of my ex-fiance for the last year or so. Breaking up was the hardest but the BEST thing I have ever had to do. Best of luck to you!

  • 1 decade ago

    i think you should follow your heart.

    but personally, i don't think you should even be with someone who scares you.

    its hard but you can do it!!

    and if he threatens you, that is a punishable offense. get a tape recorder or something and when that time comes where the subject comes up again, and you are ready to leave. you can get a restraining order on him. honestly!!

  • 1 decade ago

    did u have family u should really ask them

    life is to short to be with somebody like that

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.