Do you think being molested could cause a person to be gay lesbian?

I was wondering about this. Wanted input on what you all think. Thanks.

Update:

Wanted to add a little bio. I'm a 27 female. I was molested from my earliest memory age 4-11). I'm lesbian which led to my question.

22 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes, It happen to my friend. A lot of Lesbians I know of, have had some type of trauma in their childhood that lead to their lifestyle. Some have even told me, that's why they preferred women over men. That's why I don't buy they "Born that way" crap. I know some lesbians that could be with a man but simply don't want to. But everybody have their own opinion..

    Go head and thumbs me down but it's true. Some lesbians and Gays don't even think their were born that way.

  • Luis
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    No, sexual interference does not determine your sexual orientation. You cannot make someone anything they are not.

    In fact it might do the opposite if you were molested by a woman, then you may indeed be so ashamed of your natural feelings and think that they are twisted and wrong, that you'd try to suppress them.

    I wish I'd kept the websites, I'm sure other people can provide the websites that show the info. But yeah, even if you could alter someone's sexuality because of it, it wouldn't last very long, as the person comes to terms with it and all.

    But I'm not sure there's any ways short of electroshock to change sexuality, and even it doesn't last very long.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    They also say, if you get hurt in relationships by the opposite sex in your life that it causes you to become gay but that is SO not true, since I've been hurt by females many times and why the heck am I not turning straight??!

    I've been hurt in general about my sexuallity, so you'd think, hey lets just go date the opposite sex, since its so hard being with the same one, but its just not that eazy, if you generally are not attracted to the opposite sex in sexual ways, you will never be. Even though you get hurt, u just hope u find a better female partner next time. Love hurts either way.

    The truth is, no one really knows how and why, but it just happens so we can accept it or not, those are the only two options we have.

    EDIT:

    It's true what Snarky said, I have a friend who was raped a few times when she was young by a older male, and she actually became promiscuous later and slept with many other males believing she didnt deserve any better, she didnt really turn gay at all! I'm telling you, its not necesseraly true, in some cases MAYBE but not for everyone.

  • 1 decade ago

    Not especially. Girls molested by males typically become very promiscuous with different male partners, believing subconsciously that an abusive life with the wrong guys is all life has for her. Some molested girls fear men, even if they are attracted to them. Some women give females a try and find they love it and it is right for them. Most lesbians, however are born lesbians, and nature simply made them that way. Born lesbians don't fear men.

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  • I know quite a few lesbians who either were molested at an early age by a male family member and a couple who had rotten, overbearing fathers. ANd I also know many who never had any experieinces like that? But who really knows if this is why they are gay? Why not ask this question over in the psychology section?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    In my opinion, molestation only leads to problems with intimacy, not orientation. It's actually kind of the opposite problem - a person who is molested sometimes finds it hard to be comfortable sexually with anyone at all, whereas a gay person is usually comfortable with sex - just with their own gender.

  • Death, as usual, nails it on the head. Sure, I think it COULD be a driving force, but more often than not, NO. There are some people I'm sure that have been molested and CHOSEN the route to be a homosexual, there are some people that have been molested and were already BORN homosexual. The majority of the homosexual population is not made up of child molestation victims.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your answer is Yes, however, but the inference of this is more complicated.

    I can only speak about men's sexuality as that is what I've studied and worked on.

    The truth is that most people have this 'seed' of being able to be sexually attached to both men and women. The society through its several mechanisms mutilates the 'seed' that has the potential to develop into a healthy sexuality for other men. This 'killing' is done during adolescence when the sexuality is developing, BUT, it has to be done before the person experiences positive same-sex experiences. Because once he does, then no mechanisms of the society will work on him, and he will go on to develop his same-sex sexuality, which may overcome his sexuality for women.

    Most 'gay' people I have worked with have reported some kind of pleasurable sexual activity with the same-sex as children or adolescents, before they could go on to hate their same-sex needs.

    This is why the heterosexual society is dead against men having any kind sexual play with adolescents and clubs it under "pedastry". It is called abuse even when the person so 'abused' may not percieve it as so.

    The heterosexual society does not look so harshly at sexual play between male and female when the adult is a female. It may actually encourage it. This is because this is seen as a welcome measure to make boys 'heterosexual'.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is a difficult question and people are so complex in terms of how they process information that it is unique to each individual. But do I believe there is such a process as "reactive homosexuality" in some cases?yes. But do I believe it is the "norm"? No. I was a family therapist for many years and worked with males and females who had been sexually molested in their lives. Some were gay and some were straight. One of the things I noticed is some had preferences and aversions to certain types of sexual behavior due to the molestation. For example one woman who identified as a lesbian had been molested by her father quite extensively and he had sexual intercourse with her for a couple of years. Her preference sexually was to use dildo's primarily with her sexual partners, but preferring to "control" these interactions. Here is something that many survivors carry "guilt" about. That being, that many enjoyed the sexual contact and attention from their abuser. That in fact the sexual contact was pleasing to them. Being able to reconcile the complexity of this is paramount in my opinion to being able to have a healthy sexual relationship. There was also a client of mine who was molested by sibling, a brother, and she identified as a lesbian as a matter of "choice." She had experienced sexual relations with males and while she found them pleasing, she derived more satisfaction with other women...but she admitted that she chose "masculine" type women, more butch if you will, and enjoyed a level of "pain" during the sexual act. Could it be a false sense of "intimacy"? Perhaps. A false manner in which to trust her partner? Maybe. For example if I tie you up, cause you pain physically, and then release you, we have trust? Perhaps. The point is that women and men respond differently to sexual abuse. And even with these extreme examples I believe there is healing that occurs and reconciliation even in relationships that we may describe as dysfunctional. People have to go through a process, with others during their lifetime in order to heal. So I do not judge how a person chooses to express themselves sexually. In short there is no right or wrong even for someone who must experience almost a masochistic type sexual relationship, and call it love, in order to heal from their past. And believe me there are many clinicians who would disagree with me. But there is no right or wrong, and everyone must reconcile in their own manner. I also had countless other women and men who were sexually molested by a father, grandfather, brother and even a few sisters and mothers, who identified as "straight." Some even identified as asexual or bi-sexual. What I did discover is that the more a person who has been sexually molested as a child is able to talk openly, freely and honestly about the experience the more they come into their own decisions about sexuality and who they trust to be in a partnership with. It is a journey towards healing and it is not cookie-cutter. Everyone has their own way and manner to heal and express who they are. The most difficult part of healing for a sexual abuse survivor is trust I have discovered. Trust of self. Trust of others.

    Clearly there are many, many lesbians and gay men who have never been sexually molested, and grew up in loving home environments. They believe they were born lesbians, or gay and they probably were indeed. So to categorize sexual orientation in a dysfunctional manner is not productive at all IMO. Society places way too much emphasis on categorization and much of this is fueled by religious prejudice and judgment, which is again not very productive or loving.

    So only you can know what is best for you I guess is what I am saying. If you feel most comfortable with women and feel this on an erotic, emotional, mental and spiritual plane then just let yourself be without judging.

  • BOOTZ
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    yeah it could happen, most times when things like that happen its hard for a person to look at the opposite gender and try to be intimate because you never can get over the fact that you were violated. I've gone through the same thing and its hard i mean i can be friends with a guy and just chill with them but i will not let one touch me intimately. so thats my opinon on things.

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