How can my wife and I come to an agreement when it comes to how often we have intercourse?

I have a much higher sex drive, while my wife is fine with making love once or twice a month. We both work full time, go to the gym, share the chores and take care of our kids. We often get into arguments when I approach her to initiate sex. Any suggestions?

21 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You should sit down with her and tell her everything you just told us.

  • Ella
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Instead of your usual approach, how about doing something a little different.

    Either go out on a date with her, down a couple glasses of wine, and slow dance. That will get her in the mood (unless you possess 3 left feet.)

    Same at home. When the ankle biters are in bed, just find time for the two of you. Cuddle up and watch a movie.

    Some men think foreplay consists of telling the woman you want sex and feel we're supposed to undress on the spot and please you. You have to be a little more romantic. And if she isn't getting an orgasm every time, then sex can be a turn off.

  • 1 decade ago

    Take her out for a dinner in a romantic surrounding. There you can start asking if she's happy with you and the sex part. Open communication maybe difficult especially when it sex is the issue but one has to start touching the subject. Open yourself to her in a way that you won't be misunderstood. If she really cares for you then she would listen. Well, you know your wife better than anyone else in this answer portion.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Most men demand it too much (and I'm a man, if you haven't notice).

    Ease up, Jack and consider your wife's feelings. Less is better, the longer you're married. She's right on this one, basically and your consideration of her feelings is a sign of the love you have for her.

    Most women have very little in the way of a sex drive. The world's oldest profession is based upon the needs of men, not women, as they mostly supply the need. We're all familiar with their stratetic "headaches" and the term "faking it." Why would they need to "fake it"?

    Also, surveys have long revealed that women would far prefer to watch soap operas and other activiities than to engage in sex. Most regard it as a chore, like mopping the floor if the truth is known.

    Of course the proof is really in your own marriage. Why isn't she demanding more and why aren't you the one running away?

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well, this was the same situation in my first marriage (currently divorced). The agreement that we made up was that we had sex every other day. But I do suggest that you guys have a long talk about your current situation. You may need to even seek advise of a professional.

    Good Luck!


  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You didn't say who goes to the gym, spend less time there

    and use that energy in the bedroom.

    She, like yourself, needs to be a little more considerate of

    each others feelings and make time for yourselves.

    If she really cares, she will do whatever it takes to let you

    know the feelings are still there.

    This can cause problems if you don't do something.

    Good Luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Affection is contagious: lots of touch, kisses, hugs, and loving gestures throughout the day (email, phone call, little notes). It may take a few days, but hopefully she’ll come around, to often we become roommates with our spouses, and quit acting like boyfriend and girlfriend.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Women are all about relaxing! we can't come unless we are relaxed, completely. No kids around to bother us, if we hear kids, it's all over. No dishes in the sink, no arguments on our minds. A back rub, or a nice bubble bath! Don't go up to her and say, "I want to have sex." Just get rid of the kids, make sure the house is clean, don't argue about stuff, start rubbing her feet, and work your way up. Sometimes I would have had sex with my husband, if he didn't come up to me, in his dirty sweatpants, and say "Let's go f#ck!" How nasty! I want to be loved, and romanced! Not treated like crud!

  • 1 decade ago


    tell her that u wish u 2were more intimate

    and how ud love for her to initiate sex once in while.

    Everything can come up w. a good solution af. a good conversation. sit down and talk.

  • 1 decade ago

    here are some great, free, tasteful tips for keeping/improving intimate sexual relationships

    -build up adrenaline and energy in other ways

    -exercise together

    -ride thrilling rollercoasters together

    -watch scary movies together

    -play hooky from work together

    -engage in novel acts, both sexually and non-sexually, together

    keeping sex new and fresh:

    and here are tips to prevent sexual dissatisfaction for the times when you are intimate:

    Planned Sex is better than no sex, here's how to make time, and make it great every time:

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    wow...first maybe dont have sex but foreplay for a week you going down on her..then maybe she'll want to repay the favor and go down on you..then maybe take it to the sex otherwise she is your wife just get her while she's asleep from behind!

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