how does a 20 year old guy with no friends make friends?

There's people at school and work that I talk to AT school and work, but I don't really have any friends. Nobody invites me anywhere, so I rarely go anywhere. I have siblings, but my brother doesn't really have friends either, and my sister is quite a bit younger than me. I've never done anything with anyone (except family) outside of school (except organized sports). I have been on one date, but that didn't work out. All I want to know is how the heck do I make a friend. I feel like nobody would want to be my friend because I'm shy and quiet when I first meet people, and they would think I was boring.

Update:

I have some online friends, but that's different from regular friends. I'd like to date as well, but I figure that no girl would like to go with a guy who has no friends, is that true?

13 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Man I have been there! I am 42 years old and when I was your age I never...repeat...never had a friend to hang out with. I was a loner. The way I was able to get over this was simple...You have to be yourself ! and what does that mean ? it means you have to learn to express your opinion and not go about pleasing people. Expression of opinion is based on your value system ( you must have one). Perhaps and I am not implying that you are, but maybe you are not opinionated enough and therefore you have not much to offer. Women like a guy who has a solid opinion and can make a difference so...but at the same time dont go out and be an arrogant sob (lol)... just be yourself and be goofy sometimes..hang out thats what friends are for.

    Join up with clubs, afterschool programs and get involved with discussions. Thats the first step to developing friends (common interests)

  • 1 decade ago

    Firstly find something that you enjoy doing which requires a group of people. Even something you might enjoy or instead might like to try, but never have. It's a lot easier to make friends if you are doing something you enjoy, because it's also something they enjoy and finding common ground is normally a good starting point. If you only like the internet then go to internet cafes and buy someone a coffee instead of sitting in your bedroom.

    If you like outdoor pirsuits like running, riding bikes or just reading there will always be somewhere that people congregate just to be together, even church so get out there first or you'll never know.

    You already know that people won't come to you so you HAVE to go to them! Do something you enjoy and when people see you having a good time they will talk to you.

    Remember that a friend is only a friend because they want to be, so be yourself and treat them with respect and it should start to happen naturally.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hey,

    You sound pretty normal to me, just down on the confidence a bit. I'd suggest you make to first move and invite someone to do something with you. Be casual, and don't make a big deal out of it. Just say like "hey you wanna go check out a movie"? That way if they say no it's no big deal an you dont need to be embarrassed.

    Rather than worrying about it just dive in and give it a go.

  • Ali
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    ....it's hard to break out of your shell....it took me a while. Try and find confidence within yourself! What are you into? Try and join a club with like wise people such as a sports club (if you like that) or a role playing group....look for community groups that do activities that you would be interested in and it will start from there....don't be afraid of putting your contribution to the conservation people like to hear opinions, yours is just as good!!!!!!!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    Lack of confidence. Gain confidence your better than that. Talk act crazy you will get friends if you try hard enough. Go hang out places you like like book stores and when someone comes over to your section ask them if they like those types of books just talk. Its easy trust me. I use to be soooo shy now i can talk to anyone. Just give in and give it all you got! I wish you the best of luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    u must read books in social skills. seems u're 20 years old now, i think its a little bit late to find friend. so,before u do that, u must make sure ur social skills are tough enough and u must have some confidence in urself. u must not be so choosy in choose friend coz without a friend, u're nobody dude.trust me.

  • 1 decade ago

    My friend,

    Don't worry,,,,,,

    I said you My friend so from now I am ur friend......

    Who told u can't make friends......? U make friends easily than others because I think everyone has the capability to make friend ,u too .....

    Just do one thing whenever u r going to make a new friend don't shy.....show them some specialities u have .....express them ....... be confident...... do something special that someone makes impressive towards you..... really it works.......................and last but not least.....................

    I am ur good friend.........any problem .....tell me...............................................Love Guru....

  • 1 decade ago

    If you are in India, let's pair up and work on a solution. I'm facing the same problem too.

  • 1 decade ago

    Find out what you love to do and do it. You will be around others with similar likes. That is how you find friends and those who could be closer. Be yourself.

  • 1 decade ago

    HEY DONT FEEL BAD .FREINDSHIP IS NOT REALLY FOUND.

    JUST TALK TO PEOPLE ON THE TOPICS THEY LIKE OR ON CURRENT EVENTS.DONT BE SHY.

    DONT STRECH ANY TOPIC FOR LONG.

    HEY I COULD BE UR ONLINE FREIND BUT DONT CALL IT DATING.

    I NEED GOOD FREINDS TOO AND UR GOOD ENOUGH.

    MY EMAIL ID IS--------kim_121lock@yahoo.co.in

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.