Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 1 decade ago

Abuse? He blames me for his anger.?

My boyfriend calls me names all the time like slut, whore, *****, stuff like that. He tells me I'm ugly and tells me he wishes I would die. I am 33 weeks pregnant with his child, and he's the only guy I have ever even kissed. He's lied to me about drinking (which I've had lots of problems with alchohol abuse from my family and I was almost raped by a drunk) and he's went to other girls houses and been around other girls late at nite. We're talking about 11pm-3am. I've had lots of complications during pregnancy and I think it's because of stress from him? While I've been pregnant he's raised his hand at me, choked me, pulled my hair out, push me, forced his hands down my pants. But he can also be a really sweet guy. I'm just scared his anger will turn into something worse bc he's threatened to kill me before. But I love him ( I guess so much bc he's my 1st ) and I want to work things out for our son. But sometimes I don't even know if it's worth it. I don't know what I should do.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You should get away from him RIGHT NOW. If he has already done those things, it will escalate and he may end up killing you. Nobody has a right to lay hands on another person in anger. If you don't leave, think what your child will have to endure. You have the opportunity to stop the cycle. Leave the guy and if he will get into an anger management/spousal abuse program and family counseling with you, then after some time, you may be bale to get back together.

    Source(s): Too many years picking up the pieces of these kind of relationships as a police officer.
  • 1 decade ago

    The best suggestion to this type of situation is to leave him. However, you are the only one that will actually convince you to leave him. The baby that you are carrying is not capable at this time to tell you to leave. On the other hand, if you want what's best for your unborn child, you know the best solution. You say that he can also be a sweet guy, but if something goes wrong and he ends up hurting you to the point of death, what good would that "sweet guy" be to you? You also say that he choked you. That can be the point of hurting you to death. As I asked you, what good would that "sweet guy" be to you if you are dead? There are plenty of truly sweet guys, you can find a better guy than that inconsiderate creep. I can only suggest that you leave him and have a restraining order against him (actually have him put in jail for attempted murder). I say this because you didn't really ask, you just stated that you don't know what you should do. I'm sorry that he is treating you this way. Think about your unborn child while you are thinking about what to do.

  • Nick C
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    i know a girl or two who miscarried due to boyfriends hitting them, or generally stressing them out.

    you see, there's a reason guys like that are called "jerks." have you ever been in a car that made jerky movements? one moment is driving along nicely, the next moment a sudden acceleration or stop makes you almost fly through a windshield; it is the same with guys like your boyfriend. the only thing that's sure is that he'll keep on jerking between nice and not-so-nice.

    you see, there's things you can control, and then there's things you can't control. things you can not control (yet most women fantasize they could) is his behavior. the thing that you can control is whether or not you stay in the relationship.

    i think everything else was already covered; your kid WILL pick up your behavior as somebody said earlier, and there are indeed plenty of places for women in trouble to stay. but remember, if you decide to end the relationship, you must sever all ties, completely, with him, and anyone who knows him (they could tell him where you're staying).

    hopefully he'll realize that his behavior is not getting him anywhere. but realize that by staying with him, you are essentially telling him that it's ok to keep being the way he is. good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    First no one deserves to be abused.

    Abuse goes in cycles. the abuser will get mad and go into a rage, then once the fighting is over, he/she will be as nice as they can be. they would ask for forgiveness, and promise never to do it again. But as always, it WILL happen again.

    My suggestion to you is to talk to family members, church members, or close friends, to secure a safe place for you and your child to live. Then go to the local police station and file for a restraining order. If you have no family support or any friends to rely on, then go to your local women's shelter. They will help you get the necessary papers to be protected from him.

    The biggest thing is don't wait until it is too late to get out. I mean he could hurt your baby or put you in the hospital, or kill you. It has happened before. Abusers rarely change. The abuse only gets worse.

    In these kind of cases, you can't follow your heart. I know you love him, but he doesn't love you or he wouldn't have abused you. LOVE SHOULDN'T HURT!!!

    Please protect your baby and yourself. You will be happier with yourself.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Sorry dear he is the one that needs help he has lot of anger in him that you never noticed before if you want it to work you both need counselling There is a lot of places that will help youout You have to take care of your self and eat healthy All the best to you

  • 1 decade ago

    LEAVE!!!! You shouldn't even have to ask. You could end up dead before the babies born, and what about the baby?? You think he won't beat his kids too.If you want to try to work it out then live somewhere else and go to counselling, personally I have no idea why women love men who beat the **** out of them. Go for help now!

  • 1 decade ago

    If you stay with this guy your son will grow up thinking those behaviors are normal and do them to his wife. And if you have another and have a girl she will think its normal and let her husband do it to her. No its not worth it. Yes its abuse -verbal and physical. Contact your local domestic violence shelter they can put you in touch with a counselor who can and will help you.

    also IT NEVER GETS BETTER AND EVEN IF HE CRIES, AND APOLOGIZES = IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL HE KILLS YOU -AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE ORPHANS!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    get on a bus fer boise,keokuk,vancouver,huntington beach ca,or nys,,,,,,,carry one suitcase,a couple thousand in travelers checks,,find a shelter,,,,,,have the baby & give it up for adoption,,,,,,your life with this guy is a zero,,,and you do not have the capacity to be responsible for anyone else

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