I just found out my 12 year old daughter is EMO...... help?

My daughter has a yahoo answer page and she left it on and I just read her questions/answers and she is EMO, I know she has changed a lot lately and I have tried talking with her, I also found out that she had a boyfriend (no longer) Please from Experience how do I approach her, I am in such shock, I love her so much and am scared, I don't want to say the wrong thing. Please I appreciate answers from everyone.... I will talk to her as soon as I know what to say, I will be waiting for your responses..............


From what the kids say EMO is when a kid cuts themselves. I did talk with my daughter now, we had a very good talk she said she feels very stressed and angry and this is how she has been dealing with it, she said she has not done it for about a month now, and we are going to go to counseling which she wants to do. Thank you for all those responding.

31 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well, just a quick look on wikipedia says:

    When referring to a person's personality and attitude, most definitions of emo hold that an "emo person" is candid about their emotions, sensitive, shy, introverted, broken-hearted, glum, and often quiet.[6][9] Emo personality is also often connected with writing poetry, which addresses confusion, depression, loneliness, and anger, all resulting from the world's inability to understand the author. Emo poetry uses a combination of any of: a highly emotional tone, stream of consciousness writing, a simple (ABAB) or nonexistent rhyme scheme, references to the flesh, especially the heart, heavy use of dark or depressing adjectives, concern over the mutability of time and/or love, and disregard for punctuation, grammar, and/or spelling. Themes such as life is pain are common.[10]

    Some definitions of emo hold that typical "emo persons" are likely to inflict self-injury, most often by means of cutting, burning, or otherwise mutilating themselves.[11] [9] Some assert that it is cool within the emo subculture to pretend to be suicidal and self-harm,[12] or that participants self-harm purely for personal enjoyment.[13]

    Emos are also stereotyped to use depressing Internet screen names that sometimes contain straight edge X's, often using ironic sloganry, a poetic sense or cliché (eg. xmourningafterx).[8]


    In the years since emo music's rise in popularity, both emo music and emo subculture have attracted sometimes severe criticism.[13] The term emo itself is sometimes used pejoratively, to suggest that the target is "overly emotional."[6] Emo in general has been characterised as a fad which will be discarded and forgotten in the near future.[12] Emo music has also been compared to the teen pop of 1990s boy bands.[12][14] Critics cast the music as lacking any artistic merit, the fashion as "embarrassing" and members of the subculture as imagining or pretending that they lead harsh, painful lives when they actually live in comfortable, upper- to middle class homes.[12] Members of the emo subculture are portrayed by critics as melodramatic, self-pitying teenagers who pour their efforts into writing bad poetry and spending a great amount of time on MySpace.[13][12][15] The current emo subculture has been called a "sad caricature" of what it once was.[13] Critics have gone so far as to contend that the emo subculture or emo music are likely to cause youth to commit suicide.[11][12] The backlash against emo music and subculture has become so prevalent that it may itself have become a cliché: one commentator notes that "hating emo kids these days is as hackneyed as emo itself."[13][16]

    But I think you need to really evaluate if this is a super-serious behavior on the negative end of this sub-culture or if its just fitting into a crowd.

  • 1 decade ago

    OMG! Some of these people are just wrong! EMO is a stereo type. You do need to ask her what she means by EMO, it means different things to different kids. My daughter is EMO and she changed schools this year and it is different at the new school a little. And she is still in the same county!

    The EMO did start out of depression from her father. He was over bearing! She is also Bi. We went through the cutting alittle. I just talked to her. Tell her I love her, that I would be lost without her. I explained what could happen if she cuts and we put meds on all her cuts. She said it showed her that I cared when we got together and put on the meds. It also hurt more. When she cut she was angry so the adrenaline was in effect, but when we did the meds it hurt more so she said that she wasn't going to cut anymore because the meds hurt more. What ever works.

    The is a answer you got from a young girl about 13. Listen to her she is right. Mental_ being.

    You will be just fine. Alot of this is normal teenage behavior. If she will go to counseling that is great! DO NOT try to force her to change or force her to wear girly clothes. Allow her to be who she is and be there for her!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Honey, EMO doesn't mean that she cuts herself!!! Emo is just a way of classifying oneself. Look, I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm 26 and when I was in school, we had groups such as Preppies, Jocks, Freaks and Yo's. This was back in the mid-nineties. Now, there's a new thing called Emo. It just means that she listens to a certain type of music and dresses a certain way. It's the popular " in thing" now-a-days. That's all.

    Check out this site:


  • 1 decade ago

    Emo is justed an over used and under defined term for not a preppy happy girly girl. Just start being really nice and pay alot of attention to her and talk to her about her emotions, but dont bring up the word 'emo'. Girls like boys, and shes supposed to change a bit until she finds the 'real her'. Talk to her about dating and such too.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am afraid you may not have accurate information on what emo means. It means different things to different people. Most of the time it is not someone who cuts themselves. Its more a style of music and sometimes dress. "Emo" comes from "emotional" meaning someone who is a strong independent, senstive to others, deep thinking, aware of other's feelings and in tune to the problems and inequalities in the world, etc. Sometimes and emo person is thought of as a depressed person but that is not the case. Depression is a mental illness that needs treatment and most emos are not depressed. If you suspect your daughter has depression then that is another matter that you need to talk to her and her doctor about. Bottom line is that having an emo daughter is nothing to be worried about. in most cases, it just a way for adolescents who dont quite fit the mold to try to find a group they belong in. For some it is even helpful because they can find out who they are and that will make them a strong adult. But it doesnt sound like your daughter talks to you much since she didnt tell you about her bf (i'm not suprised she didnt come to you and say "I'm emo" because she probably assumed you knew she was and knew what emo meant. It's not a formal title that a person would annouce the way you tell your friends and family you are gay. Think of it as in the '60s and '70s, noboby formally announced being a hippie, if you were everyone knew because of the way you dressed and the music you listened to. Emo is this generation's equivalent to the hippies back then. Some ruin the reputation for all but most are healthy and harmless and most grow out of it) Ask your daughter what Emo means to her. Then ask if she considers herself emo (which you already know but she may feel threatend if she finds out you saw her yahoo page since sometimes they are personal like a diary) Then ask her what kind of music she likes and what bands, since from the emos I know are passionate about music this may be a good start to a good conversation. Then if you want to score major points with her, buy tickets when her favorite band is it town and the two of you go together. It would be a good bonding experience and you could see the music she likes and you may find you like it too! If you find she is reluctant to talk to you then a counselor may be a good mediator and may have ideas to help your realtionship. The most important thing is emo is just a label and not everyone who calls themselves and emo is the same. I hope this helps. You can email me if have questions. Good Luck

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Theres nothing to worry about there is no such thing as EMO it is a type of music, although she may be influenced by the music. What is it you worried about? If she likes emo music she might dress differently and wear dark make up. People call others emos because they are emotional people and this is not a bad thing.

    Demz =]

  • 1 decade ago

    Why is this such a big deal to you? You probably think Emos just cut there wrists and try to do suicide...thats just a stereotype. She might just want to be Emo because her friends are, or it looks cool, or she wants to be different. It's nothing to get upset over.

    Hope I Helped!

    Source(s): ♥Me
  • Rats
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I really wouldn't worry too much. As I understand, Emo is a seriously moody teen. I don't think self-harm and suicide plays very high in the grand scheme of things. Emo is predominantly about the look and culture surrounding it. Much like other fads that have come and gone, it is about self-expression. Keep an eye out for tell tale signs of any self-harm (scratches on her arms or legs) and give her her space to be a teen.

    Every generation has their social identities, mods and rockers right through to goths and punks. These change and develop.

    Encourage creative writing and going out in daylight. Don't feed into any self pity and invite/encourage social interaction. The let her be a teenager and accept that she WILL grow out of it.

    Source(s): Carer of a teenage girl (I have been there!)
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Hey im Max. im 14 and im EMO ... lol this is kind of stupid actually when parents get all pissed off over these things, its like OH YOU LIKE TO WEAR PINK SO YOUR GROUNDED! its like saying that. Emo is just a style, personality, interest in writing stories, songs, or poems and cutting. most EMOs do it with a blade but i prefer a knife from the kitchen. my mom is fine with it now she accepts me for who i am and if you dont want your daughter to hate you, i would just accept her.

    Source(s): BEING EMO
  • 1 decade ago

    you have to ask her what her definition of emo is. Some kids are emo just because its a stereotype that they want to be, others actually do cut themselves. Its like the "Goth" kids, just because they dress in all black and call themselves goth doesn't mean it they fit the stereotype and worship Satan.

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