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I just found out my 12 year old daughter is EMO...... help?

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My daughter has a yahoo answer page and she left it on and I just read her questions/answers and she is EMO, I know she has changed a lot lately and I have tried talking with her, I ...show more
Update : From what the kids say EMO is when a kid cuts themselves. I did talk ...show more
Best Answer
Well, just a quick look on wikipedia says:

When referring to a person's personality and attitude, most definitions of emo hold that an "emo person" is candid about their emotions, sensitive, shy, introverted, broken-hearted, glum, and often quiet.[6][9] Emo personality is also often connected with writing poetry, which addresses confusion, depression, loneliness, and anger, all resulting from the world's inability to understand the author. Emo poetry uses a combination of any of: a highly emotional tone, stream of consciousness writing, a simple (ABAB) or nonexistent rhyme scheme, references to the flesh, especially the heart, heavy use of dark or depressing adjectives, concern over the mutability of time and/or love, and disregard for punctuation, grammar, and/or spelling. Themes such as life is pain are common.[10]

Some definitions of emo hold that typical "emo persons" are likely to inflict self-injury, most often by means of cutting, burning, or otherwise mutilating themselves.[11] [9] Some assert that it is cool within the emo subculture to pretend to be suicidal and self-harm,[12] or that participants self-harm purely for personal enjoyment.[13]

Emos are also stereotyped to use depressing Internet screen names that sometimes contain straight edge X's, often using ironic sloganry, a poetic sense or cliché (eg. xmourningafterx).[8]


Criticism
In the years since emo music's rise in popularity, both emo music and emo subculture have attracted sometimes severe criticism.[13] The term emo itself is sometimes used pejoratively, to suggest that the target is "overly emotional."[6] Emo in general has been characterised as a fad which will be discarded and forgotten in the near future.[12] Emo music has also been compared to the teen pop of 1990s boy bands.[12][14] Critics cast the music as lacking any artistic merit, the fashion as "embarrassing" and members of the subculture as imagining or pretending that they lead harsh, painful lives when they actually live in comfortable, upper- to middle class homes.[12] Members of the emo subculture are portrayed by critics as melodramatic, self-pitying teenagers who pour their efforts into writing bad poetry and spending a great amount of time on MySpace.[13][12][15] The current emo subculture has been called a "sad caricature" of what it once was.[13] Critics have gone so far as to contend that the emo subculture or emo music are likely to cause youth to commit suicide.[11][12] The backlash against emo music and subculture has become so prevalent that it may itself have become a cliché: one commentator notes that "hating emo kids these days is as hackneyed as emo itself."[13][16]

But I think you need to really evaluate if this is a super-serious behavior on the negative end of this sub-culture or if its just fitting into a crowd.
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  • mntnck answered 8 years ago
    OMG! Some of these people are just wrong! EMO is a stereo type. You do need to ask her what she means by EMO, it means different things to different kids. My daughter is EMO and she changed schools this year and it is different at the new school a little. And she is still in the same county!

    The EMO did start out of depression from her father. He was over bearing! She is also Bi. We went through the cutting alittle. I just talked to her. Tell her I love her, that I would be lost without her. I explained what could happen if she cuts and we put meds on all her cuts. She said it showed her that I cared when we got together and put on the meds. It also hurt more. When she cut she was angry so the adrenaline was in effect, but when we did the meds it hurt more so she said that she wasn't going to cut anymore because the meds hurt more. What ever works.

    The is a answer you got from a young girl about 13. Listen to her she is right. Mental_ being.

    You will be just fine. Alot of this is normal teenage behavior. If she will go to counseling that is great! DO NOT try to force her to change or force her to wear girly clothes. Allow her to be who she is and be there for her!
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  • Christina F answered 8 years ago
    Honey, EMO doesn't mean that she cuts herself!!! Emo is just a way of classifying oneself. Look, I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm 26 and when I was in school, we had groups such as Preppies, Jocks, Freaks and Yo's. This was back in the mid-nineties. Now, there's a new thing called Emo. It just means that she listens to a certain type of music and dresses a certain way. It's the popular " in thing" now-a-days. That's all.

    Check out this site:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_%28slan...
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  • OrdinaryGirl answered 8 years ago
    Emo is justed an over used and under defined term for not a preppy happy girly girl. Just start being really nice and pay alot of attention to her and talk to her about her emotions, but dont bring up the word 'emo'. Girls like boys, and shes supposed to change a bit until she finds the 'real her'. Talk to her about dating and such too.
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  • Capricorn answered 8 years ago
    I am afraid you may not have accurate information on what emo means. It means different things to different people. Most of the time it is not someone who cuts themselves. Its more a style of music and sometimes dress. "Emo" comes from "emotional" meaning someone who is a strong independent, senstive to others, deep thinking, aware of other's feelings and in tune to the problems and inequalities in the world, etc. Sometimes and emo person is thought of as a depressed person but that is not the case. Depression is a mental illness that needs treatment and most emos are not depressed. If you suspect your daughter has depression then that is another matter that you need to talk to her and her doctor about. Bottom line is that having an emo daughter is nothing to be worried about. in most cases, it just a way for adolescents who dont quite fit the mold to try to find a group they belong in. For some it is even helpful because they can find out who they are and that will make them a strong adult. But it doesnt sound like your daughter talks to you much since she didnt tell you about her bf (i'm not suprised she didnt come to you and say "I'm emo" because she probably assumed you knew she was and knew what emo meant. It's not a formal title that a person would annouce the way you tell your friends and family you are gay. Think of it as in the '60s and '70s, noboby formally announced being a hippie, if you were everyone knew because of the way you dressed and the music you listened to. Emo is this generation's equivalent to the hippies back then. Some ruin the reputation for all but most are healthy and harmless and most grow out of it) Ask your daughter what Emo means to her. Then ask if she considers herself emo (which you already know but she may feel threatend if she finds out you saw her yahoo page since sometimes they are personal like a diary) Then ask her what kind of music she likes and what bands, since from the emos I know are passionate about music this may be a good start to a good conversation. Then if you want to score major points with her, buy tickets when her favorite band is it town and the two of you go together. It would be a good bonding experience and you could see the music she likes and you may find you like it too! If you find she is reluctant to talk to you then a counselor may be a good mediator and may have ideas to help your realtionship. The most important thing is emo is just a label and not everyone who calls themselves and emo is the same. I hope this helps. You can email me if have questions. Good Luck
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  • DNM™ answered 8 years ago
    Theres nothing to worry about there is no such thing as EMO it is a type of music, although she may be influenced by the music. What is it you worried about? If she likes emo music she might dress differently and wear dark make up. People call others emos because they are emotional people and this is not a bad thing.

    Demz =]
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  • Sexy♥Sky answered 8 years ago
    Why is this such a big deal to you? You probably think Emos just cut there wrists and try to do suicide...thats just a stereotype. She might just want to be Emo because her friends are, or it looks cool, or she wants to be different. It's nothing to get upset over.

    Hope I Helped!

    Source(s):

    ♥Me
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  • Rats answered 8 years ago
    I really wouldn't worry too much. As I understand, Emo is a seriously moody teen. I don't think self-harm and suicide plays very high in the grand scheme of things. Emo is predominantly about the look and culture surrounding it. Much like other fads that have come and gone, it is about self-expression. Keep an eye out for tell tale signs of any self-harm (scratches on her arms or legs) and give her her space to be a teen.

    Every generation has their social identities, mods and rockers right through to goths and punks. These change and develop.

    Encourage creative writing and going out in daylight. Don't feed into any self pity and invite/encourage social interaction. The let her be a teenager and accept that she WILL grow out of it.

    Source(s):

    Carer of a teenage girl (I have been there!)
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  • Max answered 2 months ago
    Hey im Max. im 14 and im EMO ... lol this is kind of stupid actually when parents get all pissed off over these things, its like OH YOU LIKE TO WEAR PINK SO YOUR GROUNDED! its like saying that. Emo is just a style, personality, interest in writing stories, songs, or poems and cutting. most EMOs do it with a blade but i prefer a knife from the kitchen. my mom is fine with it now she accepts me for who i am and if you dont want your daughter to hate you, i would just accept her.

    Source(s):

    BEING EMO
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  • Bethany answered 8 years ago
    you have to ask her what her definition of emo is. Some kids are emo just because its a stereotype that they want to be, others actually do cut themselves. Its like the "Goth" kids, just because they dress in all black and call themselves goth doesn't mean it they fit the stereotype and worship Satan.
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  • I just found out my 12 year old daughter is EMO...... help?
    My daughter has a yahoo answer page and she left it on and I just read her questions/answers and she is EMO, I know she has changed a lot lately and I have tried talking with her, I also found out that she had a boyfriend (no longer) Please from Experience how do I approach her, I am in such shock, I love her so much and am scared, I don't want to say the wrong thing. Please I appreciate answers from everyone.... I will talk to her as soon as I know what to say, I will be waiting for your responses..............
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  • Hello_Goodbye answered 8 years ago
    first of all, how did you know from her questions that she was emo?

    Second, just talk to her, ask her if anything is okay with her. If, she doesn't say anything, just leave the topic lone. Tell her that you will be there if she wants to talk with you about Anything =)
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  • RATTATATATATATATA answered 8 years ago
    Why is it any of your business what your daughter 'is'? If she's hurting herself, like cutting, then I suppose you should step in to stop it but really, being overbearing will only push her farther away from you. Its not like she's in some kind of cult or anything. No offense, but it really doesn't sound like you should be involved in this. The teenage years are when children have troubles with their bodies and their emotions that they probably won't feel like talking about. Give her some space!
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  • Approach her and have a talk with her. You will never get anywhere if you don't open the lines of communication. Maybe she's stressing about something or she has fallen in with the wrong crowd.
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  • just me answered 8 years ago
    I don't think you know what EMO is it's just a style or culture.
    I would just talk to her about her recent changes and find out why
    she likes this. She may just be going through a phase. All kids go through different styles or types of music they like to listen to. I really think you should not make a big deal about it.

    Source(s):

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  • *sexi* *lexi* answered 8 years ago
    hahahahah so because of the way she dresses and expresses herself ur freaking? wow... ur sensitive. emo is just another group like being a "thug" or a "prep" or a "skater". its just another label. some emos cut themselves but actually cutting so unimaginably common, it doesnt matter the clique. about 3/4 of the people i know cut and they're from all different cliques. just check her arm at night and if no cuts, dont worry about it. seriously. its just a new fad.

    Source(s):

    im in high school, i know these things trust me.
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  • gnarls6657 answered 8 years ago
    would you calm down for gods sake? emo is some stupid trendy fashion statement all the little stupid kids are doing now days. running around with their tight black pants, heavy eyeliner and stupid grindcore music. why dont you let the kid go through the phase and stop over freaking reacting? im sure you went through your stupid stages growing up. she'll outgrow it.
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  • *$*C*$* answered 8 years ago
    Get her into counselling... its ok to dress emo and look emo and be friends with emos but its not a good idea to actually be emo... cutting is no good
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  • :.♥Brianna::G♥.: answered 8 years ago
    Don't worry, theres nothing to be worried about. Just don't assume that she's doing anything bad or anything. You only need to confront her if you think she's like self harming or if she's depressed.

    Source(s):

    I'm emo, nothing to be worried about
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  • word_life_4_ever_u answered 8 years ago
    Well, you should givecher some therapy.
    Since emo people are triggered by something that makes them want to feel pain, or kill themsselves, you should show her some reasons to live, or ask her what she wants.
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  • lilbitt_637 answered 8 years ago
    *tisk tisk tisk* Look and Ye shall find!!

    Take her out for lunch (on a day when you let her play hokey from school) and just talk to her about everything. Let her know that you love her and that you want the two of you to be able to talk about anything at anytime with out you telling her father or your husband. (if either of the 2 applies)
    If she knows that you aren't amd then she will be able to talk to you a lot easier!

    Source(s):

    My mom is my best friend!! If I can't tell any of my girlfriends. I can always tell her!
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  • sup. answered 8 years ago
    OMG I feel bad for you. My daughter one time brought an emo guy home and when we were havng dinner he was telling her how deep he had managed to cut into his arm and I was like wtf?? Luckily she dumped him. I think you should persuade her to not be emo as she could get bullied at school which could effect her grades and social life.
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  • person answered 8 years ago
    dont be alarmed ....
    no offense , but do you even know what emo means? ...
    its a kind of rock ( music ) that has something to deal with death or sumthing dark like suicide .... dont be scared , i think its just a phase ....

    -----if you still dont know what EMO is just listen to My Chemical Romance (its a band)
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  • RawkFistt answered 8 years ago
    I would call her teachers and ask them what they notice in her behavior in school. Call her friends, too and ask about her behavior. Maybe kids are bullying her or she doesn't seem to fit in too well. She's in 6th grade, right? 6th grade was pretty rough for a lot of the kids at my shcool.
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  • 8 answers hidden
  • Blitzkrieg answered 8 years ago
    i dont like emos
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  • Feli answered 8 years ago
    She can vent with me on msn if she wants, Complete stranger ftw?

    Msn adr; in my profile >3
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  • terry answered 8 years ago
    Talk to her.Dont pull her down.Give her love and support. My niece is also EMO.Please email me.
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  • mental_being answered 8 years ago
    Hi, I'm 13 and I am going to explain to you exactly what emo is. I am emo too.
    Emo is short for emotional, emo is a type of much(emo hardcore) But, it is also a steryo type. I am emo, it is the way she dresses, the way she acts, talks, lives, and what she likes, She probably wears a lot of black, likes MCR and rock. Emo is nothing bad. Please do not be alarmed. You need to talk to her about bullying at school. If you try to change her apperence, she will make it all worse. About the b/f thing, idk what to say about that, because I have a b/f too..

    Source(s):

    me, the emo
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  • zexion answered 8 years ago
    question- are you nuts?
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  • momoffourwifetoone answered 8 years ago
    Could you please elaborate as to what you mean by EMO?
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  • baby08091988 answered 8 years ago
    whats EMO!?
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