I have a one month old who wont let me put him down?

He wants to be held all day. I have tried the swing play mat anything he just wants me to hold him and he is real fussy all day. This is my first child is this stuff normal?

17 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Try buying a sling, bjorn, or ergo. That way your baby can be close to you at all times and you can still get things done. Also if your concerned talk to the DR.

  • 1 decade ago

    Boy, does that sound familiar. Currently, my youngest, who's 16 months old, wants to be held a lot as well, and she's running around a lot, too. She has always wanted to be held and has been happiest (that is, non screaming) when held. I don't think you can spoil a 1 month old. And I can tell you from experience that these days, months, years go by very rapidly, and the day will come, much sooner than you'll want, that they won't want to be held anymore, that they'll even struggle to get out of your kisses and be off exploring something. They do grow up so quickly. So, take a deep breath and try to enjoy your tiny baby--what a miracle they are! Housework, etc, can either be put off a bit or done in snatches. Think about using a baby backpack or front pack at the times you have to or want to get stuff done. What worked really well for my last 2 babies was swaddling them like they do in the hospital when they were born. Put his arms by his sides and wrap him up firmly. It worked so well for me--they quieted down immediately and often fell right asleep. Of course, then I couldn't put them down or they'd wake up! I think they like that womb like scrunched up feeling. Trying to cook is the toughest, though. Good luck, and love your baby!

  • trhwsh
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Well this could be a warning sign for something going on in his little brain so keep an eye on that part. In the mean time try this.

    Put him down and redirect him. Put him on the floor for a bit with his favorite toys in front of him. Let him cry it out for a bit, I would say no longer than fifteen minutes. then pick him up for a bit. This will take some time to work out. If he does not have anything going on in his brain, he will start to adjust. You have to increase the amount of time as he learns to adjust. Always talk to him and let him know that you are near by.

    I know that this is hard. My son was the same way and it turned out that he has Autism, but that does not mean that your child has Autism, sometimes the first child does get a bit spoiled. That is OK though, you are being a good Mom, you just need to start trying to help him out a bit so that you can give your back a rest.

  • 1 decade ago

    You're not alone. In fact I am experiencing the same thing. My baby has just turned 6 months old and I still could hardly put her down to the point that I feel as if we're conjoined twins. And whenever I put her down, she couldn't last 10 minutes alone. If she ever falls asleep without me by her side, she'd wake right back up screaming and she'd never wanna go back to sleep unless I lay down with her or she lays on my chest. I have tried the things you just mentioned, it worked for a few days and she got tired of it already. I even tried the "just let her cry for awhile 'til she falls asleep" thing and each time I do that, things just get worse. Because whenever she fusses for like over 5 minutes, she pukes all over and her stork bites appear and they're like bruises on her eyes. Too much crying causes gas too! I hate it when some people tell me that i am spoiling her, that i should just let her cry all the time til she gets used to it (that means letting her puke and have bad stork bites all the time too!), that i shouldn't be holding her all the time. I hate it coz it's like they're telling me that I don't know what I am doing (like I am asking for their opinion anyway!) by insisting what they want me to do or what they believe is best thing to do, even if some of them don't actually have a child. Sometimes I would just tell them, "okay she's spoiled, she's fussy and whatever you think she is, but all i wanna do is give her comfort. After all, i am her mom!"

    So if you're sure your baby is fed and full, he's got clean diaper, he's not sleepy, then he just really want to feel your warmth, so give it. It may be hard coz you can't do things you need to do, but you know what? It's all worth it! =)

    Right now i am still finding ways to let her stay in her playpen/bed alone, but i know she'll eventually learn to do that in time. So goodluck to you and welcome to motherhood! =)

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    By putting your child down you are fighting hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.

    Every instinct in that baby says if he allows you to put him down and walk away the wolves will eat him. Human infants require constant contact, constant food (every 90 minutes for many babies), constant warmth from mom, and constant protection (they are completely helpless).

    Get a baby carrier and then you can move on with your life. It will get better slowly. The first 6 weeks are always the hardest. The first three months are often called the fourth trimester because of how much babies need from mom.

    Then they slowly learn to spend some time playing with their toys, etc.

    Source(s): Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp ""It…" Consider what exactly is the "it" in "cry-it-out": an annoying habit? Unlikely, since babies don't enjoy crying. And, contrary to popular thought, crying is not "good for baby's lungs." That belief is not physiologically correct. The "it" is an emotional or physical need. Something is not right and the only way baby has of telling us this is to cry, pleading with us to make it right. Early on, consider baby's cry as signaling a need – communication rather than manipulation." http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp#T0512... Many of us brought up in the age of "don't spoil the baby" have mixed feelings about crying. We get anxious, tense up, want the crying to stop right away. It triggers fear and perhaps a reminder of the anguish (and anger) we may have felt crying alone in a crib with no response. It can also engender guilt - am I a bad mother if my baby cries Our culture reinforces these feelings. Many people are extremely agitated by any noise a baby makes and assail its parent with dour looks at the slightest sound. The embarrassed parent often responds by punishing the baby with loud hisses, apologizing for the baby, and fleeing for the safety of home. Western culture, as it has developed over the last 100 years, has systematically reduced our sensitivity to infants, cues and placed an unnatural distance between parents and babies and between family and community members.[2] This split between "nature" and "nurture" has created a vicious cycle of crying babies, agitated parents, and sometimes, abuse. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0838/is_n81...
  • wwhrd
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Yeah, they're like that. It's normal. I bought a Baby Bjorn carrier so I could have my child with me but my hands were free. I'd get the one that allows the most air to circulate since it can get hot with a little one on your chest. Go to Babies R Us and try one on. They can help you try them on, get it adjusted and see which one is right for you.

    None of my kids liked the swing, the playmat was a no-go as well. They just want to be held.

    With my Baby Bjorn I went about my business of using my computer, folding laundry, unloading the dishwasher, grocery shopping, you name it. I even used the bathroom with a baby on my chest, my last one was a real screamer so I kept him close at all times.

    There is a study that indicated kids that are carried close to mom & dad cry less later. I'm all for crying less later!! Try a Baby Bjorn carrier, honey. It'll give you your freedom back, I promise.

  • 1 decade ago

    i went through the same thing. it's nerve wrecking and exhausting.what i started to do was give my daughter a bath and put lotion on her... go through the routine then i sat her in her swing or under her mobile and walked away. it about breaks my heart when she cries, but i let her cry for about 5 mins then i would go in and touch her and sing lightly, talk to her. it gave her reassurance that i would always come back. she got over that for the most part now. but babies need held. i know it's frustrating. good luck.

  • stacks
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    If determining on a clean baby up each and each and every time they cry makes them clingy, my son might want to have had severe themes with the help of now. He cried plenty as a clean baby and that i provided a sling to carry him in. He grew to grow to be satisfied as long as I carried him for some hours an afternoon. Crying is the basically way a clean baby can communicate, and each and each and every now after which what they are trying to assert is they are lonely. you extremely heavily isn't able to wreck a clean baby this age with too plenty activity.

  • 1 decade ago

    If he wants you to hold him and you always do, when you finally put him down, he is going to cry. That is how it is. You really need to get used to hearing a baby cry. But you cannot let him control your household. He is learning your routine not you learning his. His routine is being in your stomach so he has to learn about you not holding him all the time. It is not abuse for him to understand that sometimes he has to lie down by himself. He will be fine.

  • 1 decade ago

    YES it is normal, but put him down and let him fuss it helps develop lungs and muscles, just make sure he is well, clean and fed. When you go by him smile, and talk pleasantly to him them go on. Don't ignore him but DON"T hold him all the time either!! He will stop fussing after a while and the more you put him down the less time he will fuss.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.