lushpoppy asked in Society & CultureLanguages · 1 decade ago

whatever happened to THE official language English language....?

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a real sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking Dutch like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas gi me a STA .

Peas and lov to yu

11 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    That's a great story! Thank you!

  • Elly
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Haha... zis must be a jok, but yes it mad me smil, so u got a sta.

  • 1 decade ago

    you did a great job!

    I have to forward this to my family who all speak both English and Dutch.

  • Geff B
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    It is absolute sacrilege to tamper with our language in this way.

    Another damned reason (one of many) for getting out of this so called 'club'.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yewwww ... now look what you've done! You made me cry!

    PS Wait ... it isn't 1 of April, is it?

  • 1 decade ago

    Excellent. Borat would be proud of you. That is funny.

  • Shark
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    are you worried you go there and nobody will understand you ?Thank god they didn't pick German

  • 1 decade ago

    just keep your own heart in place with your language.

  • 1 decade ago

    U rok dud! I culd nevr do betr... :-)

  • 1 decade ago


    I just hope that you are jocking !

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