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how to put someone in a nursing home?

my mother needs to see about what needs to be done to put my grandmother in a retirement/nursing home. She is in her 80's and extremely late stages of dimentia (doesnt remember anyone, tries to fight people, and thinks shes almost 19 years old)

Anyway, this is extremely hard on my mother and she can no longer feed, bath, and take care of her (my mom is 66). I was curious if anyone here has went through this, or knows the steps required. My mom doesnt have the money to to pay for her to go to a home. My grandmother makes like 800 a month from social security. How can she get this paid for her. This is in the state of Florida if that matters.

is there a good online resource?

Any help is appreciated guys!

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The decision to look for long-term care for a loved one is never an easy one. Handing over care to someone else is a diffcult process to come to grips with, especially a parent or grandparent.

    I think I can help you and your mom. I'm a writer at Gilbert Guide, a company that lists the best senior care facilities and services as well as valuable information on issues of importance to seniors.

    First, here's a recent blog:

    Talking to Parents About Long-Term Care

    by Ami Icanberry

    Life throws us many curveballs, and suddenly becoming the ”parent” to your parents is a major one—for both parties involved. When you believe a family member or other loved one is in need of senior care, what is the best way to begin a dialogue? Several factors often compound this sudden reversal of roles: the feeling of meddling in our parents’ lives; the reluctance to accept that our parents are in fact aging; anxiety or guilt about who will care for them; and the potential for your heartfelt intentions coming off as insulting. The first step in getting necessary care is to get past the reluctance to talk about it. Gilbert Guide has assembled some suggestions to help make this process as painless as possible:

    Listen, listen, listen. Show your genuine interest, concern and sensitivity.

    Be supportive, not judgmental.

    Ask your loved one open-ended questions to find out his/her personal circumstances and opinions.

    --Share thoughts on your own aging and what you plan to do.

    --Reassure your loved one that they are not alone in their concerns.

    --Be prepared to accept your parents’ opinions or decisions, even if you do not agree.

    --Determine how important it is to your parent to remain as independent as possible.

    And, definitely solicit the help of non-family members in evaluating the type of long-term care your loved one may need. People of authority who are not related to you can offer a neutral opinion. Consider the following figures:

    --Your doctor or your loved one’s personal doctor.

    --Friends and neighbors whose opinions you trust, and who may have already faced a similar situation.

    --A clergy member who might be able to refer you to care groups or agencies.

    --County care service agencies.

    --Area agencies on aging or other senior information and referral services.

    Also, I urge you to check out our site which provides tons of information on Alzheimer's and dementia, the facilities that provide this type of specialized care and everything you need to know about finding and moving into one of these facilities.

    (for general Alzheimer's care information)

    (for in-depth articles on senior care issues)

    Best of Luck!


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  • 1 decade ago

    In the state of florida, I am sure they have a department of human services, here in MICHIGAN, we had the Family Indenpedence agency and they changed the name to Dept of family service, or something of that nature, call them, they will respond, call your county government explain the circumstance and they surely have someone to help you, witout a doubt they do.

    This isnt easy, but you know deep down the ramifications both physically and mentally regarding her health, your health and that of your mother. All state's usually have info, call on a county level they will assist, or call an attorney, to discuss whether or not your grandmother has mapped out anything in her will regarding her care some people have I do.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


    your grandmother's doctor can probably be of some assistance.

    your mother isn't responsible to pay for her mother's bills.... just so you know.

    your grandmother's social security income will come into play and other assistance (medicaid, state assistance) would have to be applied for, but the nursing home social services does the legwork.

    you can probably make appointments with a few nursing homes to go and look and talk with their intake and social service dept for more information.

    take care.

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  • 4 years ago

    We are taking care of my mother now. I am fortunate that I have my sister to support me. If I did not, I could no longer have a option approximately admitting her. People reply this question too rapid and with an excessive amount of judgment. If your father and mother come to be aged and in poor health they is probably not capable to take their possess cure, wash themselves, feed themselves, or make selections. As an issue of reality she needed to be in a rehab nursing house for a little bit earlier than she got here house. If the employees is aware of that the sufferer has steady viewers then they appear to regard the sufferer a bit of extra cautiously and respectfully. Regular visitation is the great case situation should you had to confess them for long run care. If you attempted to preserve them at house and so they overdosed on cure, succumbed to an illness, tripped and fell and broke a hip, or sat round pissy for an afternoon or 2 till you would get to them, it could be so much worse then admitting them to a nursing house.

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