How to cope with girlfriends death?

I lost my girlfriend after she took her life a month after being hit by a car and she lost her one leg. She was in Toronto visiting family when it happened in 2005 and i wasnt there. Ever since i get thinking 'Well what if i had been there' etc and i start blaming myself and i go into wild moods where... show more I lost my girlfriend after she took her life a month after being hit by a car and she lost her one leg. She was in Toronto visiting family when it happened in 2005 and i wasnt there.

Ever since i get thinking 'Well what if i had been there' etc and i start blaming myself and i go into wild moods where the slightest thing can set me off and i go berserk, normally i calm down then im ok 2 days later. 99% the time im ok, i get very emotional when i think about her but its when i start to think that its all my fault, thats when i lose it and it scares me to think that i could hurt someone or myslef if i dont get to deal with the loss of her. We had so many plans, get married, have kids etc and i had all that taken away from me.

What can i do to learn how to cope with this loss.

Decent honest answers please.

Thanks
76 answers 76