Did you hear about the plane that crashed into the jungle?
His plane ran out of gas and he crashed landed it into the jungle.
He emerged from the plane battered and bloody.
He looked around to see a hundred pygmies looking angrily at him, chanting loudly and shaking their spears above their heads.
The pilot looked up to the heavens and said, "Oh, dear God, I'm ****ed now".
A voice replied from nowhere, "No. No you're not, not just yet. You still have time".
The pilot asked, "Who is that? Who are you?"
The voice replied, "It is I, God. Listen to me! Quickly, grab the spear from the nearest native and kill their chief. Quickly now, quickly!"
The pilot yanked a spear away from the nearest native, rushed the chief and shoved the spear through his heart. The chief dropped dead in a pool of blood.
The pilot proudly put his shoulders back and his chest out. He looked up to the heavens in triumph and asked, "What now, God?"
The voice replied, "Now? Well, now your ****ed!"