Suicide is a selfish act that harms everyone around you. My cousin overdosed in my daughter’s bed where she found him, leaving her, me, and many others to suffer! My brother’s death at 29 caused his sons to become alcoholics and made others angry and hate him. It took me years to recover and my sister still hasn't. My brother’s wife shot herself after years of drinking, drugs, and self abuse due to guilt she felt over his death. The ugly devastation left behind is NO joke.
I understand suicide. I attempted it many times, and believe me, it can really screw up your life! A man at the hospital my sister works at recovered, but not wholly. He knows he was once normal… but he’s not anymore. He will never leave the mental hospital and suffers knowing he did it to himself. The reason I would not attempt it again is because I found out that others you love might follow because you have given them permission and a way of escape.
If you want people to suffer, then your purpose is extremely selfish. If you are looking for an escape, believe me, that's NOT the way. Find a way to face your problem. Love, suicide is a long-term solution to a short-term problem. This too shall pass. If you try, you CAN make your life better. There are many dedicated professional people who are more then willing to help.