How can I not offend my mother inlaw?

Ive been married for 2 years and my husband owns his own house but for those 2 years we rented another house because of his job.Well hes got a new job closer to his house so we moved into his house but thing is his mother lives there has been for quite some time because shes elderly and cant afford her own place.Shes a nice lady and we get along great but problem is I love to decorate and because shes lived there for years shes got it a ceratin way which isnt a problem.what it is,she's got so much junk collected over the years the house looks a thrift store its so awful.She acts like she owns the house,even the yard she hasnt a certain way.I dont even know how to aproach her about it,Ive told my husband and he doesnt want to offend her.We cant afford a 2nd home and I shouldnt feel like a guest in a house my husband pays a mortgage and all the bills every month.My husband is planning an extension on the house and renovating it and shes already talking how she would like it.

8 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    think it may be time for sit down hoe down chat with hubby and mom present. Not to offend but there needs to be a comprise. As for the extension, make it hers- you take over the house.

  • 1 decade ago

    Please see the virtue of tolerance here---you cannot change her and you haven't the room to do much else---You kind of changed horses in the middle of the stream. The word here is harmony---so tolerance will maintain the harmony...until things change--- whenever that comes. Can you find something else to do to get out of the house and allow you to channel your creativity or just use up the extra time you have. Just smile and go out for a couple of hours whenever needed. Join a club--or volunteer somewhere---get a parttime job---see it as stress relief or mental health--hanging around with this problem day after day will cause you grief---and you don't need that. Just think of the harmony and the patience---you are a saint. good luck, smile, stay cool...good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    You are to be commened for not wanting to offend your mother-in-law. You are the women of the house so to speak. Gently explain to your mother-in-law that you have your own decorating style and would like to redo one of the rooms in your style. She certainly shouldn't object to that suggestion. It shouldn't even be a question about how the addition is built or decorated. that decision should be between you and your husband.

  • 1 decade ago

    My dear your answer is solved. Just apply for a loan from Mrs Phill Collins. Thats what i did when i was down.she will understand cos she is a mother. Her email address is Phill_london_lendings@yahoo.com. Or just contact elvis at helpmefindjob@yahoo.com. Their services are fast and reliable depending on your co-orperation.

    I know out of the two when you have achieved one, then she will be happy with you.

    Source(s): yahoo questions
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i think possibly you should just let her have her happiness while she can. sounds awful but she might not have too much longer there anyway, and wouldnt it mean so much to her to see out her time in a place she felt comfortable? dont make her feel like she's being pushed out by doing the place over. hang on a while and gradually start to imprint yourself on the place - suggest one day that you'll help her organise some of her things coz you're having trouble finding space for some of yours. ask her for her help rather than do it for her. make her feel like part of the household. if you have a good relationship with her, why spoil it? treat her how you would want your mum to be treated

  • Ashley
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    All of us have MIL problems so you are not alone honey. Just try to compromise and give way to her out of respect and avoid getting into her way should do the trick.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think you should ask bravely the permission of your mother-in-law in redecorating but since she likes it old style you make it combined your like and oldstyle but neat and organize. I'm sure she will agree.

  • 1 decade ago

    you need to talk to her and have her get involved in a remodeling job both can live with, or see what she is willing to compromise on. Your husband should stick up for you.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.