Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

I have this constant problem?

i cheated on my exhusband with this other guy while my ex was incarcerated for two years... i told my ex and thats why hes my ex now but, even when i was married and trying to work things out i still thought of the other guy. No i never attempted to contact him and moved away.... now iam divorced and i still think about this guy 24/7 and wonder how he is! i have tried to contact him after the divorce but there is no answer what do you think i should do... i spent alot of time with this guy and before i left he told me he loved me i just cant help but to think that maybe i should have took the other path that was offerd???

Update:

Yes jon s he did know that but he wasnt around to support me for 2 years and this other man knew that and wanted to but it was always an unsaid thing because i was unsure but know i think i made the wrong choice!

Update 2:

Gosh i feel like such a fool if i did hurt him cause it wasnt my intention!

13 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Could be a case of.......we always want what we can't have. We were just talking about that a few minutes ago here at my house. It's just the fact that you didn't get closure.

    If it were me, I'd try to get in touch with him but don't press too hard. If it was meant to be, it will be. But I do think you should just continue to see what ever happened to him. and if you can, go ahead and call him again.

    On the other hand, if he knows your number, and he's not answering on purpose......leave it alone.

  • 1 decade ago

    Did he know you were married when you cheated with him? If not, you may find out that he doesn't consider you trustworthy (I would be deeply saddened and a little angry if I found out I had been committing adultry with someone and I didn't even know it). He may judge you by that action and consider you not trustworthy enough to be a suitable match for him.

    On the other hand, if he did know you were cheating with him than that says something about his own character too. In that case it may be that he never really cared about anything other than sex. He's moved on to something else, and possibly is deliberately dodging phone calls.

    On the other other hand, if he knew all the circumstances of you marriage (and you don't mention them in your description) including that your husband was in prison for something truly awful (again, I don't know what your husband did, I'm speculating), he may have been taking a shot at the time with you that you would leave your husband and go for a better man When that didn't work out, he may have been so devastated that he had to sever all ties with you completely to move on with his life. And that's totally fair. Maybe you wounded him very badly and now out of self preservation he has cut ties and hopefully moved on. This is a possibility you should also consider.

    Of course you can't help asking 'what if?' but that isn't the same as asking 'what now?'. You are legitimately single again and completely free to find a good man elsewhere. It's even possible you may end up with this guy you had an affair with. But it's difficult to answer the question of what his motive are without more details. You can try to track him down and see if you can get an answer, but if he doesn't want anything to do with a further relationship, you need to respect that and understand where he's coming from.

  • 1 decade ago

    My thinking is that you should have committed to the guy when he was there. It's hard to roll back the clock. You had a man out of jail that was doing right by you and you chose to let him go away. You have to figure that he's moved on with his life as well because you were unavailable. Can you imagine how awkward it would be for you to just drop in on him out of the blue, if you did find him? Best intentions aside, you'd look like a stalker. Chalk it up to experience, go out and find a new different man.

  • holt
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    You ought not to have done such in the first place.For me i feel you should give the guy some time to think over it and such also beg him for forgiveness.

  • 1 decade ago

    I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE , I TO DID THE SAME THING AS YOU DID .AND I THINK OF HIM 24-7 BUT HE HAS MOVED ON ,AND I HAVE MARRYED AGAIN MY HUSBAND I HAVE NOW IS GOOD TO ME HE IS JUST NOT MY EX . I HAVE TWO GIRLS BY MY EX AND WE HAVE BIRTHDAY PARTY'S FOR MY GRANDKIDS,AND I HAVED TO SEE HIM . I JUST WONDER HOW LONG IT IS GOING TO HURTED IT HAS BEEN 13YEARS .GOOD LUCK LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND SOMETHING THAT HELPS.

    Source(s): MY OWN EXPRENCE
  • 1 decade ago

    Girl, sometimes you can't turn back time. Just go with the flow , someone else will be put in your path again. Keep your head up.

  • 1 decade ago

    Try to find him via the internet or through friends. Good luck!

  • Jan C
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    If you are unable to locate him, there is nothing you can do. Move on and meet someone else. Good luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You know, I don't mean to be rude, but, face it, what's done , its done. Live, Laugh and Love

    Give youre self some time to be alone, and take things as they come.

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