GLBT people only please. All others may kindly ignore this post, thanks.?

Okay. So my girlfriend and I are planning to move in together, and we are college-age, etc.

Basically, this means that my living costs are going to cut in half because we are joining our finances, etc. How do I explain to my parents what I am doing? I am not out yet because my father is a bigot who actually banned the GSA program at my school when I was in High School. (talk about complications...)

Also, I am hoping that this will be a safe post for GLBT so if you all would like to describe your situations and relationships that would be fine, as this is the purpose of a GLBT section, and I wish for that to be executed.

16 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Waverly I dont know if this will answer your question or not but here goes. My father wasnt a bigot but my mother was. my father said to me that when you leave the family home to be with someone whoever it be, then that is your new family and you should always work together to be happy. He said you will loose some of the family ( if you are straight or gay ) because you will always have one or two that dont like your partner or lifestyle. He said to me it doesnt matter to me who you go with, you are always mine even though you have your own family, if you ever need any advice or help come to me and I will do what I can to help. He knew I was going to change my gender. The point I am trying to make Waverly is that you may loose your dad and it may make you sad but do you have to spoil your own life because of one bigoted person, if he thinks so little that he cant let his baby girl enjoy her life he is not worth worrying over.

  • 4 years ago

    In someways i'm, yet there's a level which I provide up and there should not be. i have not yet felt called to visit Africa as a Missionary so i'm talking right here as someone who lives a incredibly ordinary existence and helps human beings the position i visit. I do an outstanding form of voluntary artwork and a number of that is composed of doing the jobs human beings could discover degrading. I from time to time overlook my foodstuff plan, (that's a concepts extra important to me than going hungry) because human beings could be harm if i did not eat what became laid in the previous me. i'm keen to spend time with those who I earnings no longer some thing from, because i understand i'm helping them. they're are cases when I have enable issues that are not "honest" only bypass by technique of, only disregarded and forgiven hurtful comments without an apology. regrettably, I admit those are only cases and there are an equivalent huge type the position I enable my personal needs and needs are available the previous different peoples and God's. there are cases when I can really harm human beings (really kinfolk) with what I do and say, because i'm no longer keen to allow grace to take over. It relies upon on the heart of the guy no matter if you'll discover God operating. With some human beings that is an instantaneous ingredient, you'll discover issues have handed off and it hardly sounds like you've been positioned out (or suffered.) With human beings it takes a existence of endurance and customarily you nonetheless do not see the end result, yet God is conscious and could reward you in His personal time.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't see why you have to explain anything to your parents. The son of a fundamentalist Christian friend is rooming with another boy at college to share expenses, and I'm relatively certain they're both straight and religious. This is common practice in college. Fantasies aside, I'm pretty sure most same-sex roommates aren't gay and./or having sex with each other. Besides, if you're college-age, it's no longer any of dear old dad's business what you do with your life or who you choose to live with. It's called being a mature adult and making your own decisions. Time to tell daddy to butt out.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm the mother of a gay son, so I hope you don't mind me answering. Your situation is a little more tricky since your father is a 'bigot' as you said. What I would do if I were you is contact my local PFLAG chapter and tell them what you just told us. They will be able to offer help with you in telling your parents. You definitely need to be truthful though. If you're not ashamed of who you are, then you shouldn't be afraid to say it, even to your parents. I have no problem with my son being gay, but he is very promiscuous and it's scary. Good luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Okay...so my first instinct is to tell u to be honest with your parents. I hid my sexuality for 7 years and its NO fun at all, having to sneak around with your partner, & lie about she is to me. And it hurts the person u are with more than they are willing to admit.

    BUT.....

    I've been there. Exactly where u are, i was in this predicament just last year. My girlfriend moved from Atlanta to be with me in California and my parents were like Umm....who is this random girl who moved out here with u? lol. And I hadn't came out to them yet so i lied and said she was a college friend of mine who was making the move out here to cali and needed a place to stay. They totally didnt believe me. lol!! They never said anything, but i could tell from the look in their eyes that they knew i was full of s.hit. We (my girl & I) were ALWAYS together, she's very tomboyish, we just LOOKED like we were together. So, finally, after almost a year of this, i just got tired of it. Im a grown woman and shouldn't have to hide anything from my parents. So i told them....and they affirmed that they already knew and were offended that i thought them to be both blind AND stupid.

    Even though they don't condone homosexuality at all (my dad is a pastor), they do respect my decision as an adult and actually really like my girlfriend. And i feel so much better as a person by getting it all out. Makes life so less complicated.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Honestly, if you want my advice? Your father, yes, is your father, but the thing of it is, is that no matter what you are and no matter who you are, he should love you no matter what you are.

    You should maybe tell them. You might not get the reaction you dreamed or hoped for. However you will feel good about yourself. They might disown you, but you have to take that into consideration.

    Just know that whatever you do, your going to have a lot of negitive effects. You might be surprised and have very positive effects? It just depends.

    I hope the best for you and your girlfriend. She sounds awesome! Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This is an excellent time for you to tell him.

    You aren't a kid. You shouldn't live a life hidden behind lies.

    You can not build a healthy life using chicanery. You don't really need his money, and his love is conditional. Are you guys playing house, or building a life?

    I applaud you. Go build that wonderful life together!

  • It's difficult I know. When I had my civil union, I didn't tell anyone in my family. Before when we lived together, my mom thought my partner was my roommate until I told her the truth and it didn't go so well.

    I still do think honesty is best though, but maybe in doses, a little at a time.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You folks will think that you are being fiancially responsible by moving in with a roommate and even if you told you folks the partial truth that the reason that you are moving in with her is to help save money, don't you think that you dad with get even the slightest bit supicious if you two get a one bedroom apt.? It is better to come out to him now and deal with the consecquences. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    i suppose you've come to one point where you could go for it and tell him, but that might not be what you're ready for or the best thing right now. in that case its common for girls to move in together as friends so you can say that, and it will help with finances and things

    if he comes to visit just cool it off

    at some point though, for you to feel happy you'll probably have to tell him. how does your mum feel about these things, would it be best to approach her first?

    good luck i hope everything goes well

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