Case asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 decade ago

Small Wedding Advice??????

Hello! My fiance and I want to have a small wedding, as in just parents, grandparents and siblings present at the church and then dinner and drinks with those people afterwards. I'm Catholic and he's Presbyterian and he wants to get married in a Presbyterian or non-demoniational church or chapel. Since I'm Catholic, is that still doable? Have any of you ever had a small wedding in a Church. We do not want to get married at City Hall or anything like that. How did the small wedding treat you? I have a huge family and although I would love to have them there, it will cost a lot more money and my parents can't really afford it. How did your family react to you having a small wedding? What was the experience like? Do you have any recommendations for us as we plan our wedding? Any demonation advice - me being Catholic and him Presbyterian. Yes, we will go to the Catholic classes and I do want a Catholic priest at our wedding. Sorry this is so long!!

Update:

My fiance doesn't care for statues, that's his biggest 'beef' so to speak with getting married in a Catholic church. We were hoping to get married in a presbyterian church and to have my priest from back home co-officiate the wedding ceremony.

Update 2:

I would like to have all of my aunts & uncles and cousins there, but I have 80 total (not including cousins dates) just on one side and another 45 on the other side. My fiance has a small family, but lots of friends. And if we invite everyone then we will have to invite them to the reception.

16 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Hi. I understand about wanting to have a small wedding. My husband and I were both married before, so we wanted a scaled down version. We were planning a wedding for 125 people in May. We decided it was too much, and had a small wedding with just parents last month. We are fortunate that we are both the same religion, so we did not have the religion issues. Having a small wedding was the best thing that we could've ever done. I still had my dress, I still had my father walk me down the aisle. No Stress!!!! As far as the reactions to having a small wedding- some people were upset, but that's life!! It was our day, and we had a great day!We sent out announcemnts to the other family members a week after the wedding. Hope that this helps you. Good luck with everything.

  • Stan W
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    My only advice is to not go too cheap on the photographer.

    Don't let a family member do it as a favor to save money.

    You definately want a decent picture!

    After the church maybe go to a favorite park/beach/backyard and get the family pictures taken there before heading to the restaraunt.

    People understand about how expensive wedding - that won't be a problem - your whole family will be happy for you.

    Even Bridezilla's with $100,000 weddings complain how much of a blur the day was - all that painful planning and they don't even remember the day!

    Make your small wedding personal and memorable - it will be very special!

    Small weddings are very nice - church or no church - and yours will be very special!

  • 1 decade ago

    The Catholic church will not recognize your marriage unless you jump through all their hoops. And usually you can't get married anywhere other than in a Catholic church. But more priests are becoming a little more lenient on the matter.

    Other than that, you can pretty much do as you want. If your finace wants a denominational ceremony, there are many of us who do interfaith marriages.

    To find an officiant type into Yahoo your city, state & wedding officiant (no 's' on the end) You will have a few to choose from, usually on the 2nd page. The larger bridal sites seem to get top billing. If you do go to the bridal sites, please visit the site of someone you think you might like. Those bridal sites make vendors & officiants pay for your contact info so you may not hear back from someone you'd hoped.

    There are all kinds of places where you can have a small ceremony. It's the content of the ceremony that makes it spiritual or civil, not the place. Asking God's blessing on your marriage is not connected to one particular religion.

    Source(s): minister in cincy
  • 1 decade ago

    Have you thought about having a wedding at someone's house say your grandmother or your parents. I am getting married in Sept and to save me money My grandmother offered her house for us to use. I am also trying to have a small wedding. I am sticking to parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles and close 1st cousins to the wedding and reception. My mother is throwing a bridal shower for me and we are inviting members of the family who we are not inviting to the wedding. This way I won't be spending extra money on the wedding day. I have a huge family also so I know how hard it is to choose who to invite. My family has been realy helpful. My reception is going to be potluck. Another thing you may try is having your core family members at the church and then having the wedding reception at a family members house. Check with your priest on the do's and don't on the mixed religion. He will give the best answer.

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  • 1 decade ago

    the church usually advises that the couple follow the religion of the man.. i am getting married in august and my fiancee is Ukrainan catholic and i am Roman catholic (i never thought there was much of a difference between them, but i guess there is..)

    if you want a catholic priest to do the wedding you need to get married in a catholic church.

    as for the small wedding with only your parents and grandparents..everyone should be fine with that. remember that it is YOUR day and you do not need to try and please everyone! with us just inviting out imediate family we will have 150 guess at our wedding. That alone is a HUGE cost- we are planning on having a meet and greet the couple a few days later with other relatives and friends.. having a nice BBQ so that everyone who we couldn't invite to the wedding can still feel included and it won't cost us lots of $$$ (plus i think it will lots of fun)

  • 1 decade ago

    You will need to speak to your priest because I dont know how that will work out. I'm catholic and had a catholic wedding. I wanted something small in my parent's backyard, but my dad said that his daughter was going to have a proper wedding. We had it in a hall, but I still consider it a small wedding and it was great. Not small like yours though. I had uncles, aunts, cousins, old school friends, etc. But it was still not a big wedding like we're accustomed to.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ok...I too am Catholic and getting married to a presbyterian. We ARE getting married in a Catholic church though. You can't get married in a presbyterian or non denominational church with a catholic priest. The cost to get married in a church shouldn't depend on how many people attend. I know of other people who had small weddings and it was fine. People will understand because having a wedding is a huge expense. Also, my fiance did not have to convert to get married in the catholic church. We did have to do the pre cana classes...which were actually great.

  • 1 decade ago

    If he is presbyterian go through his church. You may have to do some marriage classes but they will perform a wedding for you. You cant do a catholic wedding or else he will have to convert first. HEre is an option, u can go to a resort or bed and breakfast. They have pretty good deals for a small group of people and u can find a wedding officiant who can perform it for you.

  • 1 decade ago

    He does NOT have to convert first to have a catholic wedding, and you can have a priest at a presbyterian church. It just depends on the priest really. Small wedding can be the most beautiful weddings by the way.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sweetie, have it outside. Like literally "in the eyes of God". We did it , and even in April! Small weddings are supposed to be less stress so don't make the location the biggest problem. Keep it small and easy. Extra relatives do not make it easy. Send out annoucements about the fact that you did get married, just don't mention that anyone is excluded.

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