品哥 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請大家幫我找我寫的文章有沒有錯誤?

以下是我自己寫的文章,請大家幫我看一下有沒有什麼錯誤。

希望大家能幫我一下囉!感激不盡~謝謝

(這篇我是用口頭報告的~)

My Winter Vacation

I have a plentiful winter vacation in this year.

At the beginning of the vacation, I cleaned all of my family's house.

Although it is so tired to me, but I got the achievement.

During the Chinese New Year, my parents treated neighbors and relatives eating dinner. I'm very busy, and I helped my mother cooking in the

kitchen. After dinner, I finally can take a rest. But I think it was

worthwhile.

In the end of the vacation, I went to watch singing program's video.This

is my first time to watch video. It

was so new and amazing to me. I even go to present flowers for my

favorite entry on the stage. I'm so exciting and happy at that time. The

experience let me remain pretty good impression.

Update:

to 糖果兔:

最後一段是描寫我在寒假結束前,跑去看電視節目錄影的事情。

2 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have a plentiful winter vacation in this year.

    這裡是不是應該要用過去是had呢?

    而且我個人認為in this year是多餘的~had本身就是過去式~應該不需要特別強調~而且要用應該也是用this year就好XD

    所以我會建議改成I had a substantial winter vacation. 之類的

    更簡單點I had a nice winter vaction也是無傷大雅的

    At the beginning of the vacation, I cleaned all of my family's house.

    I cleaned up會比較好

    你說你清理了你所有親戚家的房子嗎?XD(應該說你這句話給我的感覺是這個意思)

    如果你是想表達你打掃了你家整間房子可以直接說

    I cleaned up my home(our home).就行了

    Although it is so tired to me, but I got the achievement.

    以文法來說~so的後面要+that 不然就是too...to

    中文的話雖然習慣說因為...所以...但是英文中although跟but本身就有因為所以的意思~而且"絕對"不可以放在一起用

    but I got the achievement←你想表達的是我達成目標了嗎?

    其實我不確定這種用法對不對~不過最保險的用法就用I did it就可以了吧

    It made me tired to clean, but I did it.打掃使我勞累~但是我辦到了

    During the Chinese New Year, my parents treated neighbors and relatives eating dinner.

    treat後面要用to做連結

    my parents treated the neighbors and the relatives to dinner.

    I'm very busy, and I helped my mother cooking in the kitchen.

    I was very busy(整篇的動詞變化要注意唷)

    我覺得這句可以分成兩句使用~要我改我會改成

    I was very busy. I helped my mother with dinner.

    僅供原po參考

    After dinner, I finally can take a rest. ←(副詞的接續錯誤)

    After dinner, I finally took a rest.最好別被中文的文法影響阿XD

    But I think it was worthwhile.(其實這句我也沒把握用法有沒有錯誤~不過應該是沒問題)

    In the end of the vacation, I went to watch singing program's video.

    直接用I watched如何呢?感覺用went to 後面要加個地點

    雖然中文翻譯會翻成"我去看"~但是別直接這樣翻用XD

    This is my first time to watch video. (時態錯誤)

    That was my first time to watch video.

    It was so new and amazing to me.

    一樣so that的用法~要馬就最好不要加so比較保險XD

    (It was new and amazing to me. )

    I even go to present flowers for my favorite entry on the stage. I'm so exciting and happy at that time.

    一樣不要說"我去送"這種用法~還有如果要把present當成動詞使用~那後面要接續名詞的話要用with~以及注意時態(過去)

    I even presented my favorite entry(singer) with flowers on the stage.

    The experience let me remain pretty good impression.

    let的用法...(請參閱文法書XD)

    impression是印象的意思耶~這邊的印象有點類似初次見面的第一印象之類的~請問你想表達的是memory(回憶)的意思嗎@@

    The experience made a nice memory to me.

    其實我的文法也不太好~大致上依照我用過的簡易文法來組句XD

    請多多指教

    Source(s): 豆腐腦+破文法
  • 1 decade ago

    My Winter Vacation

    I had a fulfilling winter vacation this year.

    In the beginning of the vacation, I cleaned the house. Although it was very tiring, I had great achievements. During the Chinese New Year, my parents treated neighbors and relatives to dinner. I was very busy and helping my mother cook in the kitchen. I could finally take a rest after dinner, but I think it was very worthwhile.

    最後一段看不太懂你在描述什麼

    Source(s): 母語是英文
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