Unwanted gifts for baby?
My husband and I are expecting a son. I strongly dislike typical boy clothing and like unique, gender neutral items instead. I hate all that blue cheap cotton stuff with boats and cars all over it. So I've been unique buying clothing at nice stores for our baby boy.
Well, my mother in law showed up at our house with a HUGE bundle of run of the mill baby boy clothing complete with blue pants sets with cars, trains, sail boats and inane sayings like daddy's little boy on T-shirts. In short, my personal nightmare. Stuff I would never put my son in. I was gracious and thanked her for all the clothes thinking I could just hide them in the closet when she said more were on the way and she was going to continue to buy more stuff for her new grandson. HOW DO I AVOID THIS? Weeks earlier I showed her all the clothes I bought so she has a very clear image of our taste. I love this woman and I know she's only being generous but I really, really, really hate those kinds of clothes.
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I had a similar thing with my mother-in-law, but it was mostly about books. She's not a discriminating buyer of books: she kept getting awful things like the Disney versions of fairy tales rather than the proper fairy tales--or just well-meaning but inane things like alphabetical prayers or little Bible stories abridged and altered beyond recognition or sense. Books are easier to shelve than clothes, of course, but books have a lasting effect on the child's development, in my opinion. (My husband, unfortunately, has fond memories of the Mr Men series and has bought dozens of them, but that's another story...)
I just used to talk about what children's books I liked and was looking out for, and she gradually started looking for them. (Of course, she still can't tell the difference between an original book and an abridged or spinoff version, but at least there are fewer of them coming.)
I think that your m-i-l is quite rightly longing to choose stuff for her (first?) grandchild, and you definitely want to encourage that in some form--you might want her to babysit or to put money in the baby's bank account later.
Next time she arrives with an armful of clothes, tell her not to buy any more as you've got enough now until he needs school uniform, and it's greener (I mean more environmentally friendly) if you don't have more than you need. But give her something to look out for that isn't in danger of hurting your tastes. For instance: music tapes for the baby's bedtime routine (classical music, esp. Mozart, is supposed to be good for later Maths skill development, for instance). Remember, if it takes longer to find, it'll cost her less money over the weeks; and if she's got something specific that you both agree on, but that she has all the buying of, she'll feel so important--and that is what you want her to feel.
- tammerLv 51 decade ago
I'm sorry but i think your being petty. Your said its your personal nightmare.......... that's being a little dramatic dont ya think. The child will wear tons of clothes a day, why Not just put it in the things you feel it needs to wear when out, and not wear out the good things just hanging in the house.
I would rather put a little cheaper clothing on my baby , and buy them more expensive clothing when they are 3-4 + starting pre school and school. The child will grow so fast he wont get good use out of 99 % of the clothes you buy.
You could be thankful , some women dont have a mother in law that can buy them stuff they need. Why not donate the clothes to the goodwill, Im sure some mother would be so thankful to get them.
Im guessing you dont have other kids, You better hope your husband doesnt lose his job or OMG your child will be forced to wear OH NO dare i say it WALMART CLOTHES..... You dont have a clue what you are in store for. Babies are expensive, for their daily needs, not only for what your dress them in, Thats really shallow..............
I have a friend that her 16 yr old son, got a 15 yr old girl pregnant they had a kid........... The girl lived with her parents.... This friend called me and the first thing she said was that this girl is SUCH a good mom......... her baby wears nothing but brand named clothes..... ( her parents buy the clothes) 6 months later the baby died because the girl shook it......... to stop it from crying.......... But you know shes a great mother because she puts the baby in brand named clothes......
Keep that up and you will have a 9 yr old that will need 2000.00 worth of clothes just to start school.
The world has became so shallow and vain.
- 1 decade ago
I wouldn't be so greedy if i were you. Some people can't even afford to buy baby clothes and your going to get all tore up over blue outfits. You will see that you are wasting your money buying the type of clothes you are talking about cause babies grow so fast.
How to avoid it? Tell everyone that you have enough baby clothes and if they want to give the baby a gift then put some money in a savings account for him.
I would not be so picky though if i were you and i would feel ashamed for talking about someone that took out the time and paid for baby clothes that they wanted you to have.
- 1 decade ago
Leave the tags on ....take a few pictures of him in these outfits and send them to gramma. (she'll be thrilled)Babies are never in clothes long, so people don't expect to see outfits forever. Sell them on ebay and make a little extra cash. If they are from babies r us, they will take anything back without a receipt. maybe ask her if you can go shopping together. I had the same problem. I didn't want anything with cars, trains, dinosaurs etc. on it. My mind set was that he was a baby and should look like one. If you can, create a registry or a list of items you'd like and give it to her. Then again maybe honest is the best policy. Tell her how grateful you are, but you have a different style in mind. I had to take my mother in law shopping for a similar reason and it worked out well. She loved buying the stuff and I liked what we got. She will see it as wonderful quality time with her daughter in law.
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- MikiLv 61 decade ago
u can always return it and get something else. u can tell your mil that u had enough clothes but really needed blah blah.
u can always give it too goodwill. there are organizations out there who help out new or expecting mom's who have nothing. my bank has a drive every year that collects new or gently used baby items.
i read what some of the other writers wrote and it is true. for the first few months of life my son wore onesies or and one piece pajama with trains, puppies or cars all over it. he also had a bib that read, "if u think i'm cute u should see my daddy". i had a few nice outfits he didn't wear and those went to goodwill.
- 1 decade ago
Um, my advise? Get over it... Did you want a girl or something? What is the harm in dressing a little boy like a boy? Maybe you could at least let him wear them when going to see her? I would love to have someone who offered to by my children tons of clothes, they are expensive! lol More money left to spend on other things!
To the woman below me who is picky about the books: You do realize that the actual original version of the most fairy tales are quite dark and grusome right? Go pick up a copy of the ORIGINAL unaltered works of the Grimm Brothers if you don't believe me...
- 1 decade ago
sounds to me that you want your kid being the best dressed, sounds as though him wearing cheap would make you look cheap. Once this baby comes you will definitly change your mind, an expensive outfit only fits for a very short period of time. My daughter hardly wore her outfits, total waste of money to buy the brand name stuff. You should appreciate what you get, and remember this is a baby, babies wear baby clothes, not clothes that are unique. Babies are cute and cuddly, dress them cute and cuddly, stop trying to impress.
- 1 decade ago
That is hard. Maybe have your husband talk to her in a nice way. Maybe say that the baby already has too many clothes and will not get to wear them all because they grow so fast & maybe give gift certificates or tell her other things you need for the baby if she wants to give gifts.
- 1 decade ago
Well, for starters, tell your mother in law off. Really lay it on thick. I bet she won't buy any more of those clothes. Then, buy all pink girlie clothing for your new son, since you did not state having a problem with clothing that says "Little Princess" or "Future Whore." Good luck with that.
- molliehollieLv 71 decade ago
I wouldn't make such a big deal out of this.Babies go through quite a few outfits in a day,there's no reason you can't just put these things on him while hanging around the house,and dress him in the clothes you like when going out or having company.It's not something your gonna want to feud w/ your mother in law over!!